Road Trip
by Eryn Galen
Summary: AU,Slash,het,OOCness.Sirius is getting married in Italy so Harry,Hermione,Ron,Blaise,Pansy and Draco decide to drive over there.it will take a week, and a lot can happen in a week.BETTER SUMMERY INSIDE HPDM, RWPP, BZHG. Chapter 13, COMPLETE!
1. Setting off, After Lunch of Course

**A/N:** I do plan on updating Popularity, in fact the next chapter's half done. I just want to write a humour fic as I'm getting depressed writing about … well … depression!

**A/N2**: As I'm typing this I am currently suffering from lack of sleep, so I hope this makes sense. I had to get up at 5 this morning to go to the stables to get ready for the national dressage championships, I wasn't competing, thank God, but my friend's Mam was so I was there cheering her on! I might be Show jumping next week but I'm not sure ……

**A/N3:** (Not another A/N! – sorry couldn't help my self!) This fic has the same cast as my other one, Popularity (For full details see my public works), I just wanted to put these great characters together with established relationships and friendships in a car for five days. Even I'm not really sure what's going to happen!

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**Title: **The Road Trip

**Warnings:** AU, Cursing, slash, het, OOCness and drinking

**Summery:** An AU where Voldemort (Boo) never happened. Sirius is getting married … in Italy, James and Lilly Potter are flying, but Harry in a stroke of eighteen year old madness decides to drive the five day trip over to Italy. with his five friends; Hermione Granger; who knows absolutely everything about anything except the ways of lust and desire, Ron Weasley; Who always thinks with his stomach and has really bad taste in music, Blaise Zabini; the pervert who is usually either high or drunk, Pansy Parkinson; Ron Weasley's crazy girlfriend, who wears way too short mini skirts and finally (As if you don't know already!) Draco Malfoy; Harry's extremely flamboyantly gay boyfriend who's biggest fear is people who bite their toenails. Together these six get drunk, have sex and try to follow a 1980's roadmap to the lovely city of Venice! What were their parents thinking?

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, I wish I did but I don't. I own the clock in the second paragraph; he goes by the name of Jimmy and is quite tempermental …

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**Chapter 1: Setting off … After Lunch of Course.**

It was a lovely crisp summer's morning. The birds were being stalked by cats, Children playing chasing near the quarry and the postman was delivering that Red final Warning Phone bill. The sun that was rising gave a lovely soothing glow to the burning caravan beside the road and the slightly blowing breeze that flows gently past did nothing to air out the abandoned old folk's home.

The alarm clock went off at exactly ten to eight, trying, but unsuccessfully, to wake the sleeping dark haired boy, formally know as Harry James Potter. The clock didn't give up however, and only rang louder, desperate to complete the task that which it's life was dedicated to do. The boy did not budge again, exasperated, the clock gathered it's energy via yoga, took in a breath, only to find it actually couldn't seeing as it's a clock and all, and let out the mother lode of all alarms. That woke the sleeping boy as he leaped out of the bed like a ninja.

"Eight already?" The boy grumbled, as he stumbled to the bathroom to have a shower. In the corner the clock, mission complete, reset itself for tomorrow morning.

When Harry came back in, water dripping down is toned and muscular chest and downwards slowly … slowly … slowly … when Harry got a towel and dried himself off. After, he went in search for clothes, most of his clothes were either dirty or packed away somewhere. Finally, after a long and tiring search through 'Sock Mountain', Harry found a decent pair of jeans and t-shirt.

The smell of a breakfast fry-up enticed Harry to get down to the kitchen as quickly as possible, so throwing on a pair of odd socks, Harry bolted for the stairs and slided down the banister only to collide with something solid yet unmistakably human.

"Ow, Harry, way to give a guy a greeting," Said Harry's friend since those nappy years, Ron Weasley.

"Oh Sorry about that! I could smell breakfast and was really hungry. Err … why are you here?" Harry asked confused.

"We're going on a road trip to Italy for your godfather's wedding, remember?" Ron said sarcastically.

"Ehhh … Oh yeah! We're driving to Venice, which explains why my alarm went off so early; I thought it had a mind of its own!" Harry Laughed.

"Yeah, whatever, Pansy and 'Mione are in the Kitchen waiting for you," Ron said, and with that abruptly turned and headed towards the scent that was a sizzling sausage. Harry shook his head at his food loving friend's antics and followed Ron into the kitchen.

Just like Ron said, Hermione and Pansy were sitting at the dining table munching on some toast. Their luggage packed up behind them. Hermione waved at Harry when he entered and Pansy Blew a kiss at him which was accompanied by the contents of her mouth.

"That was really gross, Pansy," Harry commented. Pansy flipped him off in reply and swallowed the remaining food in her mouth.

"I only did it because I know you love it," She retorted.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"So are we all ready, where's Draco and Blaise?" Harry asked looking around him in case they were hiding from him and was about to jump out and shout 'boo!'

"Blaise should be on his way, and I thing Draco's still in bed," Hermione said, "I called him this morning to wake him, and all I got back was 'No way I am I getting up 'till ten!' and then he hung up,"

"He might have thought you were his mother, did you know that their house is so big, and that she wakes him up by ringing him?" Pansy said food free thankfully.

"Really?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, I once slept over and He had a conversation with his Mom about what he wanted for dinner. He shouted at her, thought, because I had just done his nails and he was waiting for them to dry, but then had to answer the phone which Fucked up the brilliant job I did. It was quite funny actually, and then his dad told him to 'Stop being so queer and answer you're mother's civil question!' and he shouted back 'I'm not being queer, I just don't want to ruin my nails, I just got them manicured and painted and I don't want to ruin them!' Hilarious, I did not sleep that night!"

"Sounds like Draco alright," Ron muttered.

"I've slept over at Draco's a few times, but that's never happened when I was there," Hermione replied.

"Maybe I was a once off thing, like Blaise being sober or something," Pansy explained.

"Wait a minute, both of you have slept over at Draco's? I've never slept over and neither has Ron nor Blaise!" Harry interrupted.

"That's because his mother doesn't like him sleeping in the same room with boys, makes her feel nervous," Hermione and Pansy said.

"That's stupid, Draco is a boy too," Ron stated.

"His mother always wanted a girl, so when she had Draco she treated him like a girl; you know, frilly clothes, ribbons, that kind of thing," Pansy said before taking another bite from her toast.

"That explains so much," Harry laughed. Even though he was going out with Draco, he still couldn't help but be a bit mean to him. The Blond was so gay he could be quite embarrassing when out in public.

Lilly Potter came into the kitchen to find all four teens laughing their heads off. She was a bit bemused at their behaviour, but decided that her son and his friends were always mad and will stay mad forever more. This made her feel a bit nervous about letting the six of them drive, but she had read in all those parenting books that as they get older, children want to spread their wings and fly to new heights. They were bringing two cars; Harry's Saab and Draco's Mercedes, and would all take turns driving.

Their route was all planned out and picnic and camping areas were highlighted on the map so they knew where to stop. They all had their mobile phones charged and with them. Each had enough money to feed themselves for the five days, and they had enough supplies to survive while camping. Lilly sighed, dislike it or not, her 'ickle Arry–Warry' was growing up.

"What are you all laughing about?" James Potter, who Harry was the splitting image of, asked.

"Draco," They said simply.

James chuckled at the thought of his son's rather … queer boyfriend, to put it nicely. For Harry to come out when he was seventeen James could handle, Harry even having a boyfriend was, but what James never expected was for Harry to introduce someone like Draco and was totally unexpected. Sure Draco was pretty, but he was extremely high maintenance. James expected Harry to have found a nice straight acting boyfriend, but no, he had to pick the queerest fruit from the tree. Although Draco is quite amusing at a party, which was why Draco got a special invite to Sirius's wedding.

"When are you planning to set out?" Lilly asked anxiously. James could tell she was nervous about her only son out in the world all on his own, and he wrapped an arm around her for reassurance. She and Molly Weasley were very against the teen's trip and both wanted the six of them to fly to Italy with them. If it wasn't some very heavy bribing from already heavily bribed husbands, this trip wouldn't even be on.

"Well, we wanted to leave at nine, but seeing as it's twenty past now and Draco and Blaise aren't even here yet, we're not sure, Mrs. Potter" Hermione answered, her voice dripping with politeness. Ron and Pansy rolled their eyes; Hermione can be such a little suck up at times.

"Oh, Blaise just called, he said that he's going over to Draco's to get him up and will head over here afterwards. He said to expect him by around eleven," James replayed the teens.

The four teens sighed in frustration.

"Well, let's try and get some of these suitcases into the car so at least we'll be kinda ready," Harry suggested.

They spent the rest of the morning lugging Harry's suitcases down from his room, loading as many as possible into the car boot as possible, searching for any items that might have fallen out during the mass bag movement in the kitchen and raiding the cupboards for food.

Hermione was doing a mental checklist while Ron was putting a folder full of music onto the dashboard along with Pansy's and Harry's, when Blaise and Draco finally arrived in Draco's car.

"Where were you two? It's half twelve!" Hermione shrieked when they approached.

"Do you want the short version or the overly complicated and detailed edition that might take all morning to tell?" Draco asked, sitting on one of Pansy's bags.

"You went shopping didn't you?" Pansy yelled from the front seat.

"No," Draco said, non-convincingly.

"Don't lie," Pansy warned and suddenly pulled out the bag from beneath him so he was left sprawled on the ground.

"There was a sale on at French Connection, so sue me," He confessed.

Harry and Ron proceeded to put the left over bags into the boot of Draco's car, they managed to make space, but the amount of bags Draco was bringing made it hard.

"OK, the time is … one o'clock, we plan to be at our next destination by ten tonight," Hermione called in a real official tone. The rest just smiled.

"Wait a minute!" Draco called. Everyone took a deep breath and counted to ten slowly before turning to face him.

"Yes?" Pansy asked in a strained voice.

"It's one o'clock, I have to have lunch at one otherwise my whole eating schedule will be thrown completely off balance and I'll end up in a corner with a hoodie eating a bag of chips, which, I might add, will ruin my complexion,"

"What a great idea, let's have lunch!" A delighted Lilly Potter said.

Draco jumped up and followed her to the kitchen, while the other five and James groaned in annoyance, at this rate they'll never going to get going.

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All right, this chapter is short and sweet, I hope. It's not beta'd either, so that explains any grammatical mistakes, if there's many complaints about grammar or spelling I'll get it beta'd however.

I hope you liked, next chapter should be out tomorrow! Look out for it!

BTW, please R&R!


	2. Travelling blues

The real point of me writing this is to try and let out all the humorous remarks that I've thought up while writing Popularity, Which could explain a few things!

I said it would only be a day 'till the next update and, guess what, I actually stuck to my word this time! Hope you enjoy.

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**Chapter 2. **

It as about four when the six friends finally set out. Lunch took longer than expected; it would seem that Lilly wasn't too keen to let them leave just yet. Harry found himself cursing whatever God was out there for giving him such an overprotective mother. Ron was terrified that Molly Weasley would drop in for a visit. Mutual fear for their mothers caused them to stay outside with the cars, with Hermione bringing out the odd sandwich to them.

Blaise, who was asleep in the back of Draco's car, probably stoned out of his mind, kept the two boys company. Blaise, who wasn't too keen on travelling for five days, took the lazy way out and opted to be drugged for the duration of the trip. Lilly wasn't too pleased to find quite a lot of home-grown weed in his bag and promptly threw it away, much to Blaise's horror, which led to Blaise taking drastic measures and knocking himself out.

Inside the house Hermione, Pansy and Draco had some catching up time. Pansy telling her two 'Female' friends about her trip to Dubai and her escapades with her Latino cabin boy, she was interrupted in the middle of her story where José had just cleaned the pool and was covered in oil while tanning naked, when Ron and Harry, who were sick of waiting, came in.

"Come on, what's taking so long!" Ron said exasperated.

"We're talking, mind shutting up!" Pansy shouted, "Anyway, then I went to the pool only to see him in all his naked glory and he cocked his eyebrow ever so seductively -."

"Wait! What are you talking about?" A scared Harry asked quickly, frightened that his mom would hear Pansy's X-rated shenanigans. (I hope you understand what that word means!)

"Her holidays," Draco answered, shrugging.

"And her holidays include naked people?"

"Yeah, this is Pansy we're talking about, duh!"

"What did you do since graduation, Draco?" Hermione asked, ignoring the frustrated protesting sounds coming from Ron and Harry.

"Oh, I went to Japan to visit my aunt, hated it, then I had to go to my Grandparents 50th wedding anniversary, and might I add how uncomfortable it is to sit in a room full of homophobic old farts listening to cheesy 70s songs and talking about politics … politics! I was bored out of my arse and I had to talk to distant relations that I've never met before! And get this, one of them told me that I dressed like a whore on drugs, I mean she was wearing a bloody mini, and here she was getting at me about what I wear! People these days," Draco finished with a dramatic sigh.

"As entertaining as that was, we have to go," Ron said while pulling Pansy and Hermione out of their seats towards the car.

"But I haven't finished my story!" came the protest.

"Let's go Blondie!" Ron shouted from the driveway.

"I hate that nickname!" Draco grumbled at Harry, who only laughed and led Draco to the cars by the hand.

* * *

After quick goodbyes, they were finally off. Harry, Ron and Draco were in Harry's car while Pansy and Hermione, with the sleeping Blaise, were in Draco's car. Everyone was surprised when Draco said Pansy could drive his car, he was quite selfish when it came to his possessions, so him telling Pansy to drive made people a bit suspicious. Perhaps the car was a dud and would fall to pieces on the motorway or that the insurance wasn't paid yet, Draco protested by saying that he didn't feel like driving at the moment. 

The three in each car decided to keep I touch via their phones while driving and would have a driver switch after four hours. They had to keep driving through the night to make up for the lost time.

"We're finally on the way!" Harry said excitedly from behind the steering wheel of his car.

"We'd be much quicker if we didn't have so many disturbances," Ron said from beside him in the passenger seat.

"Why am I in the back seat? I hate the back seat!" Draco said.

"Because you're too small to sit in the front," Ron joked.

"You only wish you were my height, you overgrown giraffe,"

"Anyway, you're acting way too childish to sit at the front,"

"I do not act childish!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Stop, don't make me turn this car around," Harry warned jokingly.

"Do too!" Ron whispered.

"Do not!" came Draco's reply.

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do not!"

"Do What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Do you like green eggs and ham?"

"I am so confused,"

_Hermione, Pansy and Blaise_

"Hermione can you put on some music? I've left some CDs in the glove compartment," Pansy instructed while checking herself out in the side mirror.

Hermione rooted around in the compartment for a few minutes, trying to find the CDs, but the clutter in the compartment made it hard to find anything.

"Aha, found it!" came the triumphant cry.

"What took you so long?"

"The compartment had loads of rubbish in it."

"Really, like what?"

"I'll root around and see what I can find."

Pansy watched as her brunette friend searched the compartment for a few minutes before coming out with a few objects.

"What did you find?"

"Usual Draco stuff; make up, sweets, condoms, lube, oh and I found a pair of handcuffs as well!" Hermione said holding up said handcuffs.

"Always knew Draco was a kinky Bastard," Pansy laughed while expecting the tube of lubricant that was handed to her.

"Ha, cherry flavoured, I knew it!"

"There's peach and cotton candy flavours as well, and a can of whipped cream," Hermione took out the can with an evil grin.

"I'm so going to talk to him about this!" Pansy said with glee.

_Harry, Ron and Draco_

"I'm bored!" wailed Draco two hours later.

"Well then amuse yourself," Harry told him through gritted teeth. Sure he loved Draco but he could sometimes be just too damn annoying for his own good.

"How," whined the blond.

"I don't know think of something," Harry snapped back.

The car went silent for a moment. Ron was reading a biography of a famous chef so he was happily oblivious to anything going on around. Draco, trying hard to think about something to do, leaned forward towards the front mirror to make sure his hair was still in place, and then he slumped back with a dramatic sigh. Harry was trying to control his breathing, his nerves were already high enough and Draco's whining did nothing to sooth him. There was no music being played and the only sound was of passing cars or the gentle crackling sound from Ron as he turned the page. Harry revelled in the silence until-

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with …… R," Harry groaned as Draco started the most annoying and pointless game ever, the dreaded I spy. (Shudders)

"It's going to be a long trip," Harry thought.

* * *

When four hours was up, the two cars stopped to change drivers. Ron took over for Harry and Hermione took over for Pansy. Blaise was still fast asleep and Draco wanted to stay with the two girls. So to avoid any temper tantrums Harry and Ron traded Draco for Blaise, Both were secretly dancing for joy at this transaction, let someone else deal with the blond. 

The first thing Pansy did when Draco joined them was dumping everything they had found in the glove compartment on his lap.

"What's all this?" Draco asked confused, looking at them.

"We were hoping you would tell us the same thing, I can't believe you never told me that you keep your sex stuff in the car. Every time I go on a date and I bring your car, we never have enough supplies; this could have saved me from having to deny third base!" Pansy ranted.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're on about," Draco confessed.

Pansy sighed, "Look at what's on your lap."

Draco looked more closely at the bottles of lubricant and condoms, and he paled when he saw the handcuffs and whipped cream.

"Err … Pansy, about you little find, I should tell you something."

"Yes?" Pansy asked keenly, obviously hoping Draco would tell her something kinky about those items.

"Well … this isn't my car, it's ……" Draco paled even further, if that was possible, "…… Lucius's!"

Silence.

Then,

"EWWW!" Pansy, Draco and Hermione screamed, tossing the items out of the car and gagging at the thought of Lucius using … sex toys.

_Harry, Ron and Blaise_

"Silence at last!" Ron declared.

"Honestly, Harry, no offence, but Draco is annoying, I don't know why you put up with him!"

"Sex?" Harry honestly answered.

Ron seemed to think about that, "Yep, I'll give you that, alright."

"But he is annoying; he could drive Satin up the wall with his attitude. Although you have to admit, it can be great entertainment."

"Yeah, nothing better than seeing your blond friend trying think of something smart to say," Ron snickered. (A/N: Not insulting blondes, I am one; my friends always say that whenever I try to think up something smart!)

"Remember when Hermione wore that t-shirt that said 'Blondes have more fun, but brunettes remember it'! That was funny."

"So how are you and Pansy doing?" Harry asked.

"Fine, she's mad, but that's what's so good about her."

"That, and the fact that she'd snog you whenever, where ever, huh?" Harry joked.

"Yeah," Ron snorted.

Blaise moved in the back seat. Harry looked behind him to check up on him, just to make sure he wasn't about to choke on his vomit or anything. A groan signalled that he was finally awake however.

"Sleep well?" Harry asked.

Blaise grunted in reply.

"That good, yeah?"

"Where are we?" Blaise managed to get out while yawning at the same time.

"Just coming into Brighton, we'll be at Dover before midnight and we'll stay in a B&B there and cross the channel to Calais in France tomorrow."

"Good, what you talk about while I was asleep?"

"Draco."

"That bastard," Blaise grumbled before sitting up.

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OK, I'm done! Next chapter should be out tomorrow! 

Please R&R, and thanks to all my reviewers!


	3. Of Grimy Inns and Malaria

**A/N: **I was thinking about this fic last night, and I reckon that it will be about twelve or so chapters long. Ten chapters will be the actual five days, split into two chapters and the extra two chapters will act as a prologue and an epilogue. If you haven't guessed already; I've put a lot of thought into a fic that was originally thought up as a one shot!

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**Chapter 3. Of Grimy inns and Malaria  
****Night 1**

It was at half twelve in the night when the six friends finally reached Dover. They drove around the city looking for a decent looking Motel or B&B near the Ports, as their ferry to France was leaving quite early. Finally after about forty five minutes of searching, they found a motel with vacancies. It wasn't the most pleasant of places, there was mould growing on the walls and the carpet was ripped up in places. The whole place had a dingy feel to it, but they were tired and weren't about to argue.

Hermione went up to the old receptionist to ask about rooms. The receptionist himself looked like the house, dirty and old. He had no teeth at all and probably never even heard of the word deodorant. His clothes were filthy and had holes in them and he had quite a large bald patch on his head surrounded by tufts of greying hair.

"How many rooms do you have free?" Hermione asked politely, while only breathing through her mouth.

"One room," came the gruff reply.

"Err … how many beds in one room?"

"Three bedhs; thwo shingle, one doubhle," he said, Hermione barely understood him.

"And, how much for one night?" She asked still as polite as possible. The five other teens were secretly praising her for being so close to the source of the smell without gagging.

"Fhifthy phound for the shix of ya."

Hermione seemed to think about it, £50 wasn't that bad for six, but for only one room? And judging by the lobby, not a very nice looking room either. She turned to her friends, each had the look of disgust on their faces and Draco appeared to be having a breakdown.

"It's the only place around here," she told them.

"I know, look just take the room, it's only for one night," Harry said.

"Yeah, we'll survive," Blaise added nodding.

"You'll survive maybe, but not me, I'll probably get malaria or the plague or something and die. I can't die; I'm too young I tell you, too young! What if I get head lice or something? This place is probably crawling with them just waiting to attack me, I can tell. They're going to wait until I'm asleep and then they'll strike and all my hair will fall out, I don't want to be bald! It wouldn't suite my complexion!" Draco was literally hyperventilation by the end of his speech and Pansy had to hand him a paper bag to breathe into until he calmed down.

"We'll take the room," Hermione said, turning once more towards the balding receptionist. Draco promptly started hyperventilating all over again.

* * *

The room itself was noting much. The two single beds were pushed along the wall of one side of the room and the double bed was along the opposite. There was a bathroom adjacent to their room from the hallway and the complete room was done up in a mucky brown colour which only added to the grimy atmosphere.

"Well here we are," Ron said glumly setting down his bag.

"Not much to look at," Harry said peering around the small room.

"Alright people, bedding arrangements, because Hermione and I are girls, we should get the two single beds and the four of you should get the double bed," Pansy declared while dumping her bag on the single bed near the window.

"Why do you two get the single beds? I don't want to sleep with Ron; he drools and farts in bed!" Draco protested.

"It's not like I want to sleep with you, Malfoy, you'd probably rape me or something," Ron countered.

"That's low, Weasley, very low. And you should know that I don't sleep with redheads, they tend to be a bit small in the genital department," Draco smirked as Ron went red in anger.

"OK, that's enough you two," Blaise said, stepping between the two of them, "Fighting won't sort out the bedding arrangements."

"Because we're girls and you four are all boys, we get the single beds, it isn't proper for a boy and a girl to sleep together before they're married," Pansy stated self righteously.

Draco and Blaise snorted at this.

"Why can't you two share a single bed and I get the other single bed," Draco tried to reason with them.

"Nice try, Barbie, but no deal," Pansy said, shaking her head, "We're getting the single beds, and you are sleeping with the tree boys in the double bed."

"Fine, how come the only chance I get to sleep with three other boys is in a non-sexual way? I hate my life," Draco huffed.

"You'll survive, don't worry."

* * *

"Stop breathing so loud!" Draco whispered poking Ron in the back.

"I'm not breathing loud!" Ron whispered back.

"Sure you're not, I feel like I'm in the middle of 'Tornado Alley' (the southern and mid-western states of the USA) with the racket you're making!"

"I'm not making a racket."

"That's because you can't hear yourself, you idiot."

"I can hear myself fine, thank you."

"So you're just in denial about your breathing problems that it? Or are you practising for the nostril Olympics next year?" Draco asked sarcastically.

"I really don't want to deal with you right now, Draco, go to sleep."

"Fine, deflect the question; I understand if you're embarrassed about your breezy conk."

"Do you ever listen to yourself speak?"

"Funny, father always says that as well."

"Wonder why."

* * *

"Hermione, truth or dare?" Pansy asked at about three in the morning.

"What?"

"Truth or Date?"

"Erm … truth."

"If you were to sleep with anyone in this room who would you pick?"

"Pansy!"

"Answer the question."

"What if I don't want to play?"

"You have to; you answered the truth or dare question."

"That makes no sense."

"Exactly, now quit deflecting, and answer the question."

"Alright …… emmm, Blaise."

"Ohhh, really?"

"Yeah, don't tell him though, please."

"I never knew you were into the dark, broody, stoner type!"

"I never knew you would go out with a red head."

"Oh, touché."

"What are you talking about?"

"Why aren't you asleep, Draco?"

"Can't."

"Why?"

"Ron's breathing and I get the feeling that this place is haunted."

"You're paranoid."

"Maybe, Pansy, but I could swear I heard a creaking sound."

"Whatever, Truth or dare Draco?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to …… lick Ron when he wakes up."

"Err… how about … NO!"

"Come on I was hoping to see some gay action on this trip!"

"I am not a performing seal ready to do your every whim. And I am not doing your dare!"

"Coward."

"No doing it."

"You have to, so says the law of the dare!"

"I hate you, Pansy. I'm going back to sleep"

"Love you too!"

"What's with your fascination with two boys getting it on anyway, I mean, Ron's your boyfriend!"

"It's not that Hermione, I just love seeing Draco with other boys, there's a difference."

"How's there a difference?"

"Draco reminds me of a male porn star, you can imagine him as the presenter of 'Gay TV' or something. Wonder if he has a video out? Wouldn't be surprised."

"I'm going to bed. Night Pansy."

"You're already in bed."

"Hermione?"

"Hello?"

"Fuck it."

* * *

Right, I think the last part is a bit confusing, but I've re-read it a few times and it's understandable enough!

I'm also going to reply to your reviews, I'll probably do this after every three chapters.

**Fifespice:** I said a lot can happen in a week! You'll never know what happens next! I'm glad you like my Flamboyantly gay Draco, I've always wanted to write a fic like that! Keep reading! J

**Skyla Gerdes:** I'll probably update this every day, so you won't have to wait long for more!

**Lucy Malfoy of Slytherin:** My main discipline is jumping but I do dressage, I find it boring, but once my pony, Toby, went mad in the arena and started bucking around, that was fun! Got marks for active hindquarters! I hate when The horse you ride gets sold, that's happened to me when I was younger, but now I have four ponies, Woodpecker and Virgo both connemaras, Molly, a welsh. C and Toby, an Arab. I'm dirt poor after paying for livery though! Glad you liked this fic! Oh, and your LotR fic is HILARIOUS!

**TheTigersFire:** I'm planning to get a chapter out every day, so expect more really soon. Thanks for reviewing!

**Heerosevilbitchyvampiress:** You've reviewed twice as well, thanks! That's what gave me the idea for Lucius: think of the one thing I'd hate to find in my dad's car. Shudder. Don't worry about being hyper, I always am! I was once on a sugar high at a funeral … not a good idea! I'm actually not stupid I'm just very ditzy sometimes … wait, that makes no sense! Thanks for reading and reviewing, I hope you keep at it! (The R&R part)

**Riley:** The plot came to me when I was searching for a fic that was about a road trip … I found none, so I decided to write one! Thanks for reviewing!

**MODESTA:** Like I said already, I was surfing the net for a fic about a road trip, there was none, so BOOM plot bunny! Thanks for reviewing and I'm defiantly going to finish this, don't worry!

Thanks to everyone who read this, I expected flames.

Oh, Popularity will be updated by Saturday, I PROMISE!


	4. We are Sailing, Wait, no we're not

A/N: Ok, I've been working all day and now I'm tired (And slightly hyper) so I'm not sure where this chapter will end up

Anyway, enjoy!

_Oh, and you're going to find out how Harry and Draco got together in this chapter as well, expect a long chapter!_

* * *

**Chapter 4. We are Sailing, wait, no we're not!  
****Day 2.**

The teens' wake up call came at seven in the morning, an ungodly hour for some, by a sulky maid suddenly yanking the curtains open. The room was filled with yells of shock and disgust, and then settled to the odd grumble. Their ferry was due to leave at ten but it seemed that the receptionist was 'thoughtful' enough to wake them up earlier than asked for.

"I hate Mondays," Blaise grumbled, shading his eyes from the sun poring in from the open curtains.

"Today's Tuesday," Hermione said Matter of factually, the only one truly awake.

"Same difference," Blaise said and promptly falling back to sleep.

Hermione looked at her five companions. Pansy hadn't opened an eye or even moved. Hermione reckoned that Pansy was awake for too long last night. Pansy had the worst habit when with friend; she could never stop talking or gossiping. Once Hermione slept over at her house, and Pansy talked all through the night, finally going to sleep at dawn, only then to be awaken by her mother three hours later. It meant that Pansy was always tired and would nap a lot, and it probably explains a lot about Pansy.

Ron was on his stomach on the bed, still snoring away obliviously. Ron could sleep for the world, between food and sleep Ron only had about two hours a day to do anything else. Could be endearing but most of the times annoying. Ron was the heaviest sleeper out of her friends, and it's almost impossible to wake him up without a glass of water.

Blaise, the object of her unknown affections, had rolled onto the end of the bed. Hermione had always secretly admired and fancied Blaise since they were fifteen, but he never showed if he like her 'that way' or not and Hermione was always afraid to make the first move in case he didn't. She often found herself admiring his dark tan and chocolate brown eyes, even now when they were closed, she could still vividly imagine those eyes. His body was something to look at as well, but Hermione wasn't interested in him for his six pack or tight ass like any other sane girl, no, instead it was his knowledge and imagination that attracted him to her.

Hermione knew about sex, what teenager doesn't? But Hermione never seemed to think about it, or, if she did, she would feel dirty. She had kissed a few boys, even made out with a few, but sex was never the issue back then. But now, as she found herself admiring Blaise's toned body, she wondered what it would be like to lie beneath him as he pumped himself inside her, while they moaned each other's names. She blushed at thinking such obscenities, but couldn't help herself, she was only human. She knew that she was the only virgin out of her five friends, which never used to bother her, but now, I made her feel quite prudish, especially Pansy revealing she had sex in a children's' playground and Draco telling them he once slept with a teacher.

Shaking her head, Hermione looked at the couple beside Ron. When the curtains were pulled, Draco, who wasn't too happy about waking up, buried his head in Harry's chest and went back to sleep. Harry himself was in between sleep and awake and was rubbing his eyes put an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders. To Hermione it was a sweet picture, it also showed how much they cared for each other, even though Draco can be quite annoying and very materialistic. Hermione always thought, like everyone else, that Harry would go out with a nice, polite, straight-acting boy, instead, he had introduced this narcissistic, flamboyant, 'brat' of a person, who's main goal in life is to look good and be on the cover for a gay magazine.

It was about two years ago when Harry came out. His first boyfriend didn't last long, about a month or so, but his second on lasted for more than a year. Alex was an American boy who moved to the UK with his family. He was the sort of person Harry hit off with right away. He looked quite like Harry except he had baby blue eyes, not emerald green, and both were into the same things. So it was no surprise when the announced that they were a couple. Harry's parents loved Alex as well, he was their perfect example as the sort of boy Harry would go for; kind and considerate, and they supported them 100 per cent. After a year, however, Alex's parents got a job back in the States and had to move back. The two broke up but decided to stay friends as both knew that long distant relationships were hard to maintain, no matter how hard they try.

After that, Harry never had any more relationships; he would mope around in his room all day and never go out with his friends, no matter how hard they tried to make him. This was Harry's 'depression mode' to his parents and soon they became desperate to do something about it. They didn't have to however, one day Harry told his parents that someone who he thought was special was coming over for dinner and his parents were thrilled. Lilly Potter spent the day planning the dishes that she was going to cook and James helped clean the house, both were so pleased that their son was happy again that they wouldn't have cared if he had brought a 70 year old man to dinner, well, maybe a little bit.

When they saw Draco, however, their first thoughts were 'the 70 year old man would have been better,' as Draco wasn't the most decently dressed person in the world. When they saw how alive Harry looked, however, they gave Draco a chance. Despite appearances, Draco certainly made a 'colourful' addition to the Potter's lives and after a few weeks they often found themselves missing the amount of noise Draco makes, his voice was like a foghorn and he was constantly prancing around the place. Harry's friends took some time getting used to Draco as well although Pansy and Draco hit it off right away. Hermione and Blaise soon got used to him as well, but Ron, who found Draco too gay for comfort, took some time, but after a while they all had accepted Draco for who he was.

It was bringing Draco out shopping with them was the problem; they thought Pansy was bad but Draco was worse. The two of them would squeal for joy and run to the nearest shop as soon as they enter the centre. This gave Pansy a chance to not hold back in her enthusiasm like she would do before Draco was in the picture. The rest of their friends were often red in the face as passing people gave curious and amused looks at the duo, more so at Draco, who certainly proved that boys can squeal just as high as girls when it came to shopping.

Hermione snapped her self out of her thoughts to wake up her friends; they had a long day ahead of then.

* * *

"OK, that's £50 pounds," Harry said handing the receptionist the money. It was the same balding man from the night before and in daylight, every stain on the man's shirt was visible.

"Thanksh, I hope ye enjoyehd yer shay," the man said, still unintelligible.

There was a definite sound of disagreement from behind Harry, of which the man chooses to ignore.

Once outside, all six teens take a deep breath of clean air.

"I thought we'd never leave!" Blaise sighed.

"That was the most unpleasant experience I ever had in my whole entire life!" Draco exclaimed.

"Quit being such a drama queen, it wasn't that bad," Ron said.

"Ok, our ferry leaves in an hour, so we can either go to the port now and get something to eat there, or we can stay around here and find a restaurant or something, which do you all want?" Hermione asked over the crowd.

A chorus of 'Port!' made the vote unanimous.

* * *

At the port, their ferry was the first thing they saw. The ship could hold about two hundred cars and provided food and beds for the longer trips. The boat was called the most original name in the world, the 'S.S Boat' (Long story behind that one people!) and had a grand air to it. Any passengers with cars were currently driving onto the lower floors where the cars were kept and on the other side, Lorries and trucks with products being exported were being loaded. The six friends handed in their tickets and parked their cars in the lower bays. After that they went in search of food.

"So, see anywhere you like? Ron?" Pansy asked.

"Why do you all look at me when you ask about food?" Ron asked puzzled.

"Because you're a pig?" Draco tried.

"At least I eat, Malfoy and don't live on air like you."

"I care about my appearance."

"By starving yourself?"

"Ron, Draco does not starve himself; he can eat almost as much as you," Harry intervened.

"Doesn't explain why he's so small then."

"I'm not small I'm 5'8."

"That's small, Malfoy."

"I know, when we get onto the boat we'll all measure each other!" Hermione suggested excitedly.

"Wow, you really are a dare devil aren't you 'Mione?" Pansy said sarcastically.

"I just want to know how tall everyone is, is that a crime?"

"Only if you're working for the CIA and you need our heights along with our mug shots."

* * *

When it reached ten to eleven, the friends made their way back towards the ferry, which was now calling people aboard. While they waited in line everyone checked to make sure they had their tickets and other belongings. By the time the got to the lady checking and collecting the tickets they couldn't help but feel excited and that nothing would go wrong.

"Err … guys?" Ron said, quietly getting their attention.

"Yes Ron?" Blaise asked.

"I kinda … erm … forgot my ticket," he said in a tiny voice.

"WHAT!" Hermione yelled.

"I don't know where my ticket is!"

"Tell me you're joking! Please!" Hermione begged, still furious.

"I wish I was," Ron said cringing.

"Excuse me, can I have your tickets, please?" the lady politely asked.

"Hold on one second, where did you have it last?" Hermione questioned, turning back to Ron.

"In the restaurant … I think."

"You are so STUPID sometimes!" Hermione yelled all over again.

"I'm sorry," Ron squeaked.

"Sorry does not help; we are going to find that ticket!"

"I'm sorry, miss, but we can't wait any longer," the lady interrupted.

Hermione turned on her best death glare at the poor lady and growled through bared teeth, "We are getting the ticked NOW and you're going to WAIT and you'll be HAPPY ABOUT IT!" And with that she spun around and dragged Ron back towards the restaurant.

"Sorry about this, she is getting therapy, but it's not working very –"

"DRACO!"

* * *

I actually had great fun writing this chapter, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it!  
Anyway, please R&R, it's greatly appreciated!


	5. Bored? Sing Bohemian Rhapsody!

A/N: I'm so in love with the song Bohemian Rhapsody at the moment it's unreal! G4 sings it, so I love them too! Two nights ago I locked my sister into the bathroom and sung the whole song! (Yes I know all the words; I care not what you think!) And guess what happened yesterday? I SAW G4 LIVE AND THEY SUNG BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY! OFFICICALLY HAPPY! starts doing a jig while screaming

A/N2: This week has proved to be a great week for me, no only did I see G4 LIVE! (I love them sooo much!) But I got paid 140 euro for babysitting! So I was able to pay for Virgo's vet bills and for Molly's shoes! My dad also got me a show jumping saddle worth 1,560 euro for Woodpecker and Toby got into the feed shed and ate all the food in there, so yeah; it's been a great week for both me and my ponies!

_This chapter is dedicated to Queen and G4, both has jus given me seven minutes of happiness with their classic; Bohemian Rhapsody. And therefore, this chapter will contain the song! Squee!_

* * *

**Chapter 5. Bored? Sing Bohemian Rhapsody!**

**Night 2.**

Ron and Hermione got back five minutes with Ron's ticked, which were now covered in rubbish and dirt. The ticket lady sniffed disapprovingly at them, but another glare from Hermione made her hold back what she really wanted to say; oh well, she can just spit in their food later on.

Harry, Pansy, Draco and Blaise were waiting for them by the railings and waved cheerfully when they saw the fuming Hermione and scared Ron.

"Have fun?" Pansy asked gleefully, it was obvious that she was laughing not moments before.

"Fuck off," Ron muttered.

"Ahhh," Pansy cooed, "Is my little Ronnie-kins pissed off?" She asked hugging him tightly pushing Ron's face into her breasts. Ron rolled his eyes and hugged her back awkwardly.

"A bit," he confessed, voice a bit muffled by Pansy's bosom.

"Do you want me to kiss it better?" She whispered.

"Yeah," Ron agreed excitedly.

Then to the disgust to everyone else the started to make out right there on the decking. Both tried to get as close as possible to each other, but when they realised they couldn't get as close as they wanted there was only one option; the floor. They both fell to the floor still in a lip lock and started moaning; quite loud at that.

"Alright then," Blaise said shrugging, averting his eyes from the sight of his two best friends snogging.

"Eww … heterosexual kissing is so gross!" Draco exclaimed.

"To you maybe," Blaise commented looking out to the ocean.

"I don't know how you can stand it!"

"I don't know, it's not that bad," Harry reasoned, defending Blaise. He had kissed a few girls before he realised he was gay so he knew what it as like, but Draco was probably born gay, judging by his likeness for the colour pink anyway.

"So you're saying you'd rather kiss a woman than me?" Draco said, fuming.

"Of course not," Harry answered and before Draco could say anything else, Harry stepped forward and captured Draco's lips with his own in a fiery kiss. Draco moaned when Harry forced Draco's lips open and pushed his tongue in the warm cavern that was Draco's mouth. The kiss started to get more passionate as the seconds passed and before Draco knew what happened; Harry had him pushed against the nearest wall.

"So, nice weather we're having," Blaise said to Hermione, both were a bit shocked at Harry and Draco's kiss.

"Yep. Might rain though," Hermione said. Secretly wishing she could do with Blaise what the other two couples were currently doing.

"Mmmm …," Blaise answered. He hoped Hermione didn't see the want in his eyes. Ever since he was fifteen he had always liked Hermione. The way she talked, walked and lived her life fascinated him to the point where he was so enamoured with her being near her was suffocating. He admitted to himself that he had a crush on his brunette friend, but no one else knew, not even Harry, who he'd tell everything to. No, this was just between him and his brain. And being this close to her now made it hard to think about anything else but his lust for the girl beside him, who was watching the sea peacefully with a serene look on her face.

'God, she is so beautiful,' he thought as he watched her take a beep breath of sea air. She looked at him with a happy smile on her face and for a moment in time, their true feelings for each other were reflected in their eyes. Blaise leaned in a bit, and she took a tiny step towards him, just enough so he could smell her, which only drove his need for her on. The world around them seemed to disappear as they moved even closer.

'Just one more inch to heaven,' both thought as they moved closer. And just as their lips touched, Ron interrupted them by tapping Hermione on the shoulder.

Blaise couldn't believe his luck; he was about to kiss the one girl he had ever liked so much and the moment was ruined by Weasley. Hermione looked at him a second more, and Blaise was sure he saw her wink at him. He grinned back; it seemed their fancies were neutral.

"This is what I've came here to see! Hot boy on boy action!" Pansy cheered when she spotted Harry and Draco who were still making out as feverishly as before. Harry still had Draco pinned to the wall and Draco had one leg wrapped around Harry's waist.

Ron made a face, "Urgh, I don't know how you like watching that!"

"I don't like watching it … I love watching it!" Pansy protested.

"Quit perving on them Pansy," Blaise told her.

"But …,"

"No,"

A family with four small children suddenly turned around the corner and were shocked to find the two boys literally getting it on in front of them. The mother blushed and the father was alarmed, while the four kids started laughing.

"Look, mammy! They're kissing!" a little girl, no more than five giggled.

Harry and Draco both froze when the heard the little girl's voice so near to them. They both turned their heads in the direction of the family, their bodies, however, were still wrapped around each other, with Draco's leg still wrapped around Harry's waist. Realising what the family had just witnessed they jumped apart and blushed sheepishly. The four children were still laughing when one pointed out -

"Look they're both boys!"

At that they all laughed even louder. While the parents' expressions stayed the same.

Harry and Draco shared a sheepish look and ran away as fast as possible, as the kids' father looked ready to explode. Both were laughing as they ran down the deck not caring that other people were giving them weird looks. They finally stopped at the other end of the boat, both out of breath.

"That was a close one!" Harry gasped.

"Did you see his face? He looked absolutely mental!" Draco laughed catching up with Harry.

Both laughed giddily and lay down on the deck to catch their breaths. Not caring what other people thought, Draco laid his head on Harry's chest. They stayed like this for a few minutes, both trying to catch their breaths and occasionally laughing.

"Maybe we should move," Harry said after a while, noticing that a lot of people were watching them strangely.

"Why?"

"People are watching," Harry whispered back.

"No one's watching," Draco said.

"Yes they are!" insisted Harry.

"Is anybody watching us?" Draco shouted, much to Harry's embarrassment. A few people around then chuckled in amusement. Obviously not everyone was homophobes.

"You are so embarrassing," Harry said not bothering to keep his voice down any more. Harry heard a few people quietly agreeing with him.

"I'm not even trying! If I wanted to embarrass you I would," Draco said standing up again.

"You wouldn't," Harry warned, sure that Draco was about to do something.

Draco just smirked and took in a deep breath,

"_Is this the real life? Is this just fan – ta - sy?_

_Caught in a land - slide, no escape from re – al – i – ty, _

_O – pen your eyes, look up to the skies and seeeeeeee_!"

Harry groaned in annoyance as Draco began one of the longest songs he'd ever heard. People around him started to laugh at Draco's antics, as he was over exaggerating the song and sung the word 'see' very high.

_"I'm just a poor boy, I need no sym – pa - thy,_

_Be – cause I'm eas – y come, eas –y go, _

_Lit – tle high, lit – tle low," _

"Draco stop," Harry pleaded, Draco just shook his head however and continued.

_"An – y way the wind blows does - n't real – y mat – ter to meeeeee, to me," _

Just then Hermione, Ron, Blaise and Pansycaught up with them.

"Thank god you're here, he's -," Harry started.

"Are you singing Bohemian Rhapsody? I love that song!" Pansy interrupted, looking at Draco who had just finished the last word, he nodded while mentally singing the introduction notes to the next part.

"Please don't," Harry asked her, but it was too late.

_"Ma – ma, just killed a man,_

_Put a gun against his head,_

_Pulled my trigger now he dead,_

_Ma – ma, life had just began,_

_But now I've gone and thrown it all away,"_

Both Pansy and Draco were now singing, acting out the lyrics as they sung it, much to the embarrassment to their friends and to the amusement of everyone else around them.

"No, please!" Ron begged, knowing that the next part got really loud, which meant that Pansy and Draco will make it even worse.

_"Ma – maaaaaa, Ooooooh – oh,_

_Did – n't mean to make you cry,_

_If I'm not back a - gain this time to – mor – row,_

_Car – ry on, car – ry on,_

_As if nothing really matters,"_

"Ok, you can stop now," Ron and Harry told them.

"Nonsense. Hermione, join us?" Pansy asked.

"No, please no," Harry and Ron begged again.

Hermione looked indecisive for a moment, then shrugged and went to her two singing friends.

"How could you Hermione, you betrayed us!" Ron shouted dramatically. Hermione only laughed as the next verse started.

_"Too late, my time has come,_

_Sends shivers down my spine,_

_Bod – y's ach – ing all the time,_

_Good – bye, ev – 'ry – bod – y,_

_I've got to goooooo"_

"Whish they would," Whispered Harry to Blaise and Ron, who both snickered and continued to watch in horror as the dramatics were getting worse and worse as the song progressed.

_"Got – ta leave you all behind and face the truth,_

_Ma – maaaaaa, Ooooooh – oh,_

_I don't want to die,_

_I some – times wish I'd __nev__ – er been born at allllll!" _

To the complete horror to Harry, Ron and Blaise, their three other friends started playing air guitar while singing the instrumental bridge to the next part. All three looked completely mental as they sung the bridge and jumped around with an invisible guitar, until they suddenly stopped, stood still and started singing the staccato beats to the next part.

"Oh, no," Harry groaned, the opera type part was really annoying and well, operatic and the fact that the three of them were way over exaggerating the song, would only make that part worst.

_"I see a lit – tl sil – hou – et – to of a man,_

_Scar – a - mouche, scra – a – mouche, will you do the Fan – dan – go,_

_Thun – der – bolt of light – ning,_

_Ver – y fright – 'ing me." _

As expected, it was sung very, much exaggerated and very, very high.

_"Ga – il – le – o, ga – il – le- o,_

_Ga – il – le – o, ga – il – le – o,_

_Ga – il – le – o, fig – a – ro,_

_Mag – ni – fi – coooooo!"_

Harry was sure somewhere, someone's glasses have broken from the pitch of that note, Harry would never admit this, but all three of them could sing quite high very good. Which was scary.

_"I'm just a poor boy, no – body loves me,_

_He's just a poor boy from a poor fam – I – ly,_

_Spare him his life from this mon – stros – I – ty"_

They were harmonizing, which brought up the suspicion that this was practiced. A lot.

_"Eas – y come, eas – y go, will you let me go?_

_Bis – mil – lah! No, we will not let you go,_

_Let him go!_

_Bis – mil – lah! We will not let you go,_

_Let him go!_

_Bis – mil – lah! We will not let you go,_

_Let me go,_

_Will not let you go,_

_Let me go,_

_Will not let you go,_

_Let me goooooo!_

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"_

Yes, defiantly practiced.

"Ma – ma mi –a, ma – ma mi – a,

Ma – ma mi – a, let me go.

Be – el – ze – bub has a dev – il put a – side for me,

For meeeeee,

For meeeeeeeeeeee!"

The last note was deafening, but at least the opera part was over, that was the good news, the bad news was, the air guitars were out again and they were singing the instrumental bridge to the next part, which was the rock part, was really dramatic and loud.

_"So you think you can stone me and spit in my eyeeeeee,_

_So you think you can love me and leave me to dieeeeeeeeeee!_

_Ooooooh, ba – by,_

_Can't do this to me, ba – by,_

_Just got – ta get out,_

_Just got – ta get right out – ta here!"_

They were back to the air guitars and instrumental humming again, but at least the song was almost over.

_"Noth – ing real – ly mat – ters,_

_An – y – one can see,_

_Noth – ing real – ly mat – ters,_

_Noth – ing real – ly mat – ters,_

_Toooooo _

_Meeeeeeeeeeee."_

The last note was really high and quiet.

_"An – y way the wind blows,"_

"Finally the song is over, can we go now!" Ron said. But this fell no deaf ears as everyone around them who was listening burst into applause. Pansy, Draco and Hermione bowed and shouted 'Thank you!' to the crowd. Harry, Ron and Blaise were shocked, the people actually liked them! Amid the clapping, cat – calls and screaming, Harry, Ron and Blaise were in shock; they just couldn't believe the other passengers liked them.

"Where did you learn to sing like that?" Harry asked amazed, finally admitting he liked their rendition of the song.

"Duh, both Draco and I are rich kids, so obviously our parents sent us to singing lessons! And Hermione's aunt is a singer so she trained Hermione," Pansy told them like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh," Harry said sheepishly.

"Didn't you know?" Pansy asked.

"Well, no," Harry admitted.

"And you call yourself my friend!" Pansy said pretending to act scandalized.

While they were talking a man approached them wearing a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts and a straw hat along with flip – flops. He looked rather ridiculous but in a stylish – I'm – into – colors – so – don't – judge – me kind of way.

"Excuse me, can I talk to you and your other two friends," the man asked Pansy. She nodded, rounded up Hermione and Draco and all three of them followed the man to a place where no one could hear them. Harry, Ron and Blaise were about to follow them, but a wave of Hermione's hand meant they weren't needed.

"Who's that guy?" Ron asked, eying up the man.

"Dunno, could be complaining about the noise," Blaise suggested, shrugging.

"I don't think so, look, they're jumping around and laughing," Harry said watching.

"Wonder why?" Blaise asked.

"Yeah, they look very happy," Ron agreed.

They watched as Draco, Pansy and Hermione each shook the man's hand and when the man turned around to walk back to the ship's lobby, the three of them whooped and hugged each other and punched the air. Upon seeing this, Harry, Ron and Draco ran up to them to find out what was going on.

"What happened, who was that?" Blaise asked.

"You'll never believe what just happened!" Pansy squealed.

"What?" Asked Ron, Blaise and Harry together.

"Well, that man was a music producer, and he heard us sing!" Hermione said excitedly.

"And!" Harry asked.

"He wants us to perform for him in his studio, in LA! And he says that with the right publicity we could be famous!"

"That's brilliant, wait, how do you know he's not scamming you?"

"We know he's not because he gave us his card, which had American numbers on it and he also rang the studio he works in for us to talk to someone so we know he's not lying. This is great, what luck do we have?" Draco explained.

"Oh, so you're going to go through with this?" Ron asked.

"Hell yeah!" came the reply from the three.

* * *

I know it's been a while, and I know I've left you waiting for the next chapter, I've just been busy!

Oh, and schools starting in four days time, joy. So I'm going to try to get a much out as possible before then!

And to anyone waiting for an update on Popularity: The chapter is almost ready and has about 5,000 words or so! It'll be long but hopefully worth it!


	6. Of Puppies and Prisons

A/N: Loads of people loved my last chapter, which puts me under pressure to write something better! Which is good, as pressure makes me write better! That's why in exams I always do better than in ordinary class lessons. That's how my head works, don't question, it's not advisable!

A/N2: Did I ever put a disclaimer up? If I didn't can anyone tell me? Just so this fic isn't taken down!

* * *

**Chapter 6.**** Of Puppies and Prisons.**

**Night 2 continued.**

They reached Calais about six hours later (A/N: I have absolutely no idea how long it takes to get from Dover to Calais, I know that it takes 19 hours from Dublin to Calais, however!) and were driving to the city of Lille, where they would stop for some food. The drive only took about an hour, but despite that fact that he ate on the boat, Ron was starved.

"I'm so hungry! I think I'm gonna die if I don't eat something quick!" Ron complained clutching his stomach as if Alien was about to burst out.

"Oh my God, SHUT UP!" Draco shouted, yet again he was in the backseat of Harry's car and yet again he was pissed off at the seating arrangements.

"So hungry!" Ron moaned, pretending he didn't hear Draco.

"Then eat something!" Draco exclaimed, practically tearing his hair out, only to realise he had messed it up and quickly went to fix it in the front mirror.

"There's no food in here!"

"I brought loads of sweets; they should be in the glove compartment!"

"Oh, those, I ate those half an hour ago!"

"WHAT! You ate my sweets! I'LL KILL YOU!" Draco screamed and lunged forward towards Ron trying to strangle him with his shoelaces.

"Urg … neoff … gne" Ron gasped trying to get Draco off him, put he soon found that pushing Draco back only meant tat the shoelace got tighter.

"Draco, stop trying to murder Ron, I'm trying to drive and it's distracting me!" Harry intervened.

"But he ate my sweets, I can't LIVE without my sweets!" Draco pointed out desperately, while tightening the string around Ron's neck. Ron had turned a deep shade of purple which clashed horribly with his red hair.

"I'll get you loads of sweets when we reach Lille, just release Ron, Remember murder doesn't look good on paper when trying to get a record deal," Harry said, trying to calm Draco down.

"Fine," Draco said releasing Ron and slumping back in the car seat in a huff. Ron gasped while messaging his neck.

"I tell ya Harry, for such shrimp, your boyfriend can be quite vicious!" Ron exclaimed once he could talk again.

Harry grinned at this, Ron did make an excellent point, Draco can be very vicious.

"Don't you dare!" Harry warned a split second later as he saw Draco creeping towards Ron with a tie and a malicious glint in his eye.

* * *

In the other car, Pansy, Hermione and Blaise had the radio on full blast and were singing along to every song, even if they didn't know the words. The music was blaring, and they three of them were oblivious to anyone else on the road, so they never noticed the police car driving beside them with its siren blaring.

"Um, Pansy, we better stop driving," Blaise said, who ad just noticed the police car.

"Why" Pansy asked, taking a break from singing.

"He's why," Blaise said, pointing to the police car.

"Shit," Pansy cursed and she turned onto the hard shoulder while Hermione turned off the radio. The police car stopped about ten metres in front of them and two police officers got out, one was a really small, round man who vaguely resembled a hippo, and the other was an amazingly tall thin woman who looked like a giraffe.

"Err … hello officers!" Pansy offered, smiling weakly.

* * *

Back in Harry's car, where they had just reached Lille, Draco's phone started ringing. He took it out an looked at the caller ID.

"Who's it from?" Harry asked curious. Ron also looked back when the phone rang.

"No idea, looks like a French number," Draco told them. He shrugged and answered the phone.

"Hello?" Draco said into the phone, Harry and Ron could hear voices on the other end of the phone, but what they were saying was undistinguishable.

"Oh, Excusez-moi, allo?" Draco tried again, in French this time.

"Oui, je les sais.Où sont-ils? Est-elle les gardez-vous nuit d'excédent ou leur une amende à payer?" Draco replied after a while. Harry and Ron watched fascinated as Draco continued to converse to this person in French. Both knew that Draco was fluent in both French and Italian but neither of them had ever heard him speak the languages, and both had no idea what he was talking about.

"Combien?" Draco asked.

"C'est un peu beaucoup. Que diriez-vous de la voiture? Récupérerons-nous cela? Ce n'est pas leur voiture que vous voyez et nous devons la renvoyer."

Harry and Ron at this stage were completely lost; French was never their strongest language in school and both only managed to scrape a pass on their A-levels. But to hear Draco rattle on really fast, they realized how easy French was in school and how slow it was spoken.

"C'est bon, nous sont à Lille de toute façon ainsi nous serons là sous peu," Draco said and then he pressed the hang up button with a sigh.

"Ok, what was that?" Asked Harry.

"The French police," Draco told him, "Our other half got caught speeding and throwing litter onto the road while music was blaring."

"Typical, and I suppose we have to bail them out, yeah?" Ron asked.

"Hole in one, we have to pay 150 euros for every person and 200 euros to get the car back. They're at the Lille city precinct," Draco told them with a sight.

"Great, we've only just got to France and we already have to pay 650 euros. We're not going to be sleeping in luxury tonight, that's for sure," Harry said with disdain.

"I was kinda looking forward to it, especially after last night's place," Ron said with a shudder.

"Urgh, just remembering about it gives me goose bumps!" Harry confessed.

"Yeah," Ron agreed.

"650? I only got 520," Draco said, frowning in concentration.

Harry and Ron just rolled their eyes.

* * *

When they reached the precinct, it was late into the evening. It took them a while to locate the building and probably wouldn't have found it if it weren't for Draco's mother trying to make Draco more cultured by teaching him French. When the entered the building, the bright lights blinded them for a minute. As their eyes tried to quickly adjust to the sudden change, they were told to wait a minute before paying the bail.

"Oooh, this place is creepy," Draco whispered, as if afraid something would jump out on him and shout 'Boo!'

"It's probably built like this to make people feel intimidated," Harry noted looking around the room while eyeing up the stone walls and single light bulb swinging whenever someone comes into the room, it all screamed 'Prison' and to Harry it seemed fitting.

"I bet there's an electrical chair downstairs or something where they kill anyone who has been in here for a while. Like in dog pounds when they kill the innocent puppies if no one takes them home and they're only given one day and then they're shot! I don't want the puppies to die! It's mean and cruel, and … mean! Just because no one gave the puppies a home one day doesn't mean they won't the next day, these places don't even give the puppies a chance! Everyone has hopes and dreams so that means that the puppies do too! How would you like if your hopes and dreams were crushed just because no one gave you a home one day, of course you'd beg for a chance, but no, they just abuse their power just because the puppies can't object!" Draco rambled, getting more hysterical and drawing curious looks towards him.

"Draco, stop, the puppies are ok!" Harry cooed.

"How do you know, as we speak, millions of puppies are being killed!" Draco whispered looking around wearily as if expecting to see a line of dogs going into a room labeled 'Shooting room'.

"Why do you care so much? You said yourself that you don't like dogs," Harry said trying to make Draco see reason.

"Dogs, yes, puppies, no," Draco said scandalized that Harry would even suggest that he hated puppies.

"But they're the same, aren't they?" Harry asked patiently, as if talking to a toddler.

"No they're not! Dogs are big and they bite and they attack you! Puppies are small and cute and furry, and they don't deserve to be shot!"

Ron at this stage was pissing himself laughing.

"Right, I'm not going to try to understand your logic it's too late," Harry said.

Draco gasped, "So you want the puppies to be shot!"

"No that's not-"

"I can't believe you think that those small innocent creatures deserve to die just because no one wants them for one day!"

"Draco, listen I-"

"I mean, puppies are the cutest things alive and you want to shoot them, or maybe even electrocute them! Yes Harry James Potter I can see into you master plan! You want to kill all the puppies in the world just because you don't like them! Or maybe they're standing in your way to total domination; maybe the puppies are the only one's who has the power to stop you! That's why you want to kill them! You Harry James Potter are a monster!"

Harry just looked bewildered while Ron was rolling on the floor clutching his sides with tears rolling down his cheeks he was laughing so much.

Luckily before Draco could go into detail about Harry's plan of 'puppy massacring and destruction just so he can rule the world and possibly the moon' as Draco so lovingly dubbed it, the receptionist called them over and asked them to hand over the money needed for their friend's release. At least that's what Harry and Ron hoped she asked them to do, as Draco was too busy planning to send all the puppies to Jupiter in a big spaceship to save them from Harry's 'wrath' than translate what the receptionist said.

Finally half and hour later, all six friends left the precinct, tired and hungry.

"Let's just find a cheap hotel that serves food," Ron pleaded as, yet again, they were arguing about weather to eat first or find accommodation.

"Good idea, I saw a nice enough place just down the road as we were in the prisoner's van," Pansy suggested.

They walked towards the hotel that Pansy told them about; deciding it was best to leave the cars near the police station. The hotel looked a little bit respectable, more than the motel they had last time anyway. This time the receptionist was a middle-aged woman who was polite enough and had all her teeth and hair.

"One room or two?" She asked them in English.

"How many beds in one room?" Hermione asked, she was the best at getting them rooms, so no one else complained when she asked.

"Five." The woman said.

Hermione turned towards her friends. "What do you think?"

"Go for the one room, it'll be cheaper as I reckon they'll charge by room here too," Pansy suggested.

"Well?" The receptionist asked.

"We'll take the one room," Hermione told her.

"Ok, Breakfast is from eight to ten, Dinner is on at the moment and checkout is eleven, Pierre here will take you too your rooms," The lady said professionally. All six teens turned around when Pierre approached them. He looked like Igor from the film Frankenstein and spoke strangely like Igor too. He led the up three flights of stairs until they reached their room. The number '305' in rusted copper was nailed onto the door and the '5' was about to fall off.

Pierre muttered something in French and walked away.

Inside the room was gloomy and dusty, like the rooms in those old black and white detective movies. There were two rooms; a kitchen-cum-dining-cum-sitting room and a bedroom. There was a bathroom there as well, but no one wanted to go near it as it smelled really bad.

"Wow, this can certainty rival a Hilton hotel any day," Commented Draco sarcastically.

"It was the best we could get, stop complaining!" Ron told him.

"It's eight o'clock, what do you want to do?" Hermione asked the room.

"Dinner!" Shouted both Ron and Pansy and both bolted out of the room before anyone could comment.

"Ok, what does everyone else want to do?" Hermione asked again, smiling at the couple's antics.

"I might as well go down to dinner too, although Draco, you're coming," Harry said while dragging Draco out of the room. Harry really didn't want to be with Pansy and Ron on his own as they would be so involved in feeding each other that he would just go unnoticed.

"Not yet I'm not," Draco whispered, seductively into Harry's ear, stroking Harry's clothed cock, which made Harry instantly forget about food and dragged Draco into the nearest janitor's closet.

"Ok, I did not just see that!" Blaise declared, while rubbing his eyes as if burned.

"That was pleasant," Hermione agreed sarcastically.

"So, what do you wanna do?" Blaise asked Hermione.

"Doesn't matter," Hermione replied, suddenly realizing that she was alone with Blaise in the room.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" Blaise asked, realizing the same thing. If he was going to make a move, he'd better make it quick.

"Yeah," Hermione said as both of them took a step nearer to each other without realizing. They stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like hours, the attraction was clearly reflected in both of their eyes.

"We better go down then," Blaise whispered, not breaking eye contact.

"That would be a good idea," Hermione whispered back. Neither of them made a move to the door however, and they both took another step nearer. Then the noticed how close they were to each other and both blushed. Both knew that a couple of inches more their lips would be touching, but neither wanted to make that final leap.

Finally Blaise decided to do something, so with one decisive move he gently placed is lips to hers in a hesitant kiss. He was about to pull away again, thinking he had made a mistake, when Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed him in even further. Taking the hint, Blaise held onto her waist and deepened the kiss. The once hesitant kiss was now a desperate passionate kiss as both boy and girl poured their feelings for each other into the kiss. Just as the kissed got more frenzied however, they were interrupted by Pansy.

"I just have to get- Oh my God! What we're you two doing?" She exclaimed. She needn't have asked as their puffy lips and guilty looks told her everything.

"Oooh, this is so cute! So are you two an item now?" Pansy asked excitedly.

Hermione and Blaise looked at each other, both wanting to say yes, but both wanting the other to say it.

"Yes I guess we are," Hermione hesitantly answered, but a happy look in Blaise's eye made her feel like it was the right thing to say.

Pansy squealed in excitement and punched the air, "Yes, I knew you two would get together, I just knew it! Ha wait 'till Draco hears about this!"

Pansy looked around again, much calmer, "Where is Barbie anyway?" she asked.

"Being fucked, probably," Blaise answered, putting an arm around Hermione, who leaned into his embrace.

"And why didn't anyone tell me? I could have had my camera ready!"

* * *

OK, another chapter out, I don't think this one is as good as the last one, that chapter will go down in my personal history, but I got Blaise and Hermione together, that's progress!

I aslo got a chapter of Popularity out as well, I've been a bust little beaver today!

Anyway, please R&R! I love everyones reviews!


	7. Early Mornings and Rain Gods

A/N: School's started! I'm a bit sad about that, but at least this year is a doss year … although I have my Leaving cert in two years time! The results of the leaving cert determine what courses you can apply for in college, so they're quite important!

A/N2: OMG! I can't believe how many people liked this fic, I was expecting to get about ten reviews or so, but I guess this fic makes more sense than I'd originally realised.

A/N3: I already have a great plot bunny for another humour fic, but it won't be as pointless as this one and it will be AU and non-magic too, and there might be some angst in it as well. I won't say anything more though, I'll reveal more when I've thought of the plot line fully and decide weather I'll even start it or not!

_Anyway, before I put even more Author's notes here (I have a lot to say, most of it makes no sense) I'm going to continue with the fic! We're almost at the end!_

**_Forgetting that comment, I just want to say a huge hello to Aubrey (AubreyElla if you're wondering!)…… HELLO! If you like this fic, you'll love hers, it's a post-war fic where Harry goes to college, along with Draco! There's a rare pairing in it too and a road trip! How better can you get? So anyway, I suggest you read it; you can in it on my favourite story's list!_**

* * *

**Chapter 7. Early mornings and Rain Gods.**

**Day 3**

At dawn, the six friends were woken suddenly by an alarm clock going off in the room beside theirs. The shrill sound made each teen jump out of bed and rush to the fire exit, only to remember that the fire alarm had no batteries and it couldn't have gone off, unless it was possessed but they weren't going into that too deeply.

"That's it! I've decided I'm not going to wake up today!" Pansy declared and dived under her duvet, her whole body covered by the quilt.

"What time is it?" Harry yawned.

"Bloody hell! Only six o'clock!" Ron declared.

"Wake me in six hours," Draco pleaded and crawled back into his bed only to fall asleep a minute later.

"I wish I could drop off as easily," Blaise grumbled, looking at Pansy, Draco and Hermione who were fast asleep. "Once I'm awake I can never get back to sleep again."

"I know, I'm like that too," Harry agreed.

"Lucky bitches," both of them muttered.

* * *

Harry, Blaise and Ron decided to wake the others at ten o'clock, which the found was harder in practise than in theory. Pansy would throw a punch or try to slap anybody who tried to get her out from her bed. She would also kick if the covers were pulled off her, which lead to a few bruises on the awake party. Hermione got up easily enough, but muttered under her breath the whole time, contrary to popular belief, Hermione was not a morning person. Draco just never woke up, it was like trying to wake up a dead person, Blaise actually checked to make sure he was breathing. In the end they just dumped his sleeping body in the backseat of Harry's car, yet again.

Blaise, who found himself quite sober for the past few days, said he would drive until Hermione woke up properly. This was quite unnerving as Blaise drove worse that Draco, who had thousands of speeding tickets. In the end, however, they let him drive, it was either him or Hermione, and she wasn't up to driving at the time.

"Ok, destination is … Paris!" Ron told his friends, taking over for Hermione.

"See you in eight hours then!" Blaise said as he jumped into the front seat of the Mercedes with a manic grin on his face, "I've always wanted to drive one of these!"

"Right, nothing strange there," Harry said rolling his eyes.

"I'm driving," Ron told Harry and then jumped into the front seat of the Saab.

It was exactly twelve when Draco woke up, he looked a little dazed and he blinked as his eyes tried to get used to the brightness around him.

"It awakes!" Ron declared dramatically. Draco glared at him.

"What time is it?" Draco asked, and then yawned.

"Exactly Twelve o'clock," Harry told him while reading a magazine.

"When did we leave?" He asked groggily.

"Ten," came the answer.

"Why didn't anybody wake me? I can't sleep in a car, I'll get bed sores! Hey I wanted to drive, that's not fair, and I haven't driven once!" Draco complained with sudden awareness.

"Are you even listening to him?" Ron whispered to Harry as Draco continued to rant about the unfairness of life.

"Half the time all I hear is Blah Blah Blah," Harry answered, not once looking away from his magazine.

* * *

Blaise, Pansy and Hermione drove down the motorway blissfully unaware of the dark clouds gathering over head. After listening to all the CDs that Pansy and Hermione supplied, all they were left with was Ron's CD folder, which none of them was willing to touch. Ron was notorious for his bad taste in music, and despite his arguments; S club 7 will never 'change the world' and will never 'Have a dream come true'. (A/N: LOL!)

"Crap … Shit … Crap … double Crap … hell no … over … pur-lease … Why doesn't Ron have anything a little bit tasteful?" Pansy asked as she leafed through the folder.

"Duh, it's Ron, he thinks Atomic Kitten and 'N Sync is still together!" Blaise reminded her.

"Remind me to burn this," Pansy told Hermione as she pulled out a Spice Girls CD. Hermione only laughed and nodded.

Suddenly a huge thunder crack sounded overhead which made all three of them let out a high shriek. As they were screaming, the sky suddenly ripped and it started to rain very heavily, resulting in everyone in the car, which was a convertible, being soaked to the bone.

"We have to stop and get the roof out!" Hermione said, realising how the car was getting soaked in the relentless rain.

"Ok, Blaise … STOP!" Pansy screeched. Blaise, surprised, swerved and screeched to a halt at the hard shoulder. Pansy and Hermione immediately got to work trying to unfold the roof. But, after a couple of minutes puffing and panting and everyone getting wet, no progress was being made.

"Typical, just typical," Pansy muttered. "WHY DO YOU MOCK ME! DO YOU GET PLEASURE FROM MY PAIN OR SOMETHING? ANSWER ME!" Pansy roared at the sky.

"Erm … who are you talking to?" Blaise asked cautiously.

Pansy didn't answer; instead she shook her finger angrily at the sky. Blaise and Hermione looked at each other and shrugged.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ron had finally let Draco drive, after two hours of moaning and complaining. Draco, who was pretending to cry at the time, squealed at the chance to finally drive. Ron and Harry were currently regretting their decision, as they drove down the rain soaked motorway at 160km/ph while Draco was singing Meatloaf's 'Like a bat out of hell'. All in all it was quite worrying, and Harry and Ron didn't feel safe with just a seatbelt on.

Suddenly Draco spotted Hermione, Blaise and Pansy at the hard shoulder trying to get the roof on. And seeing as he was going fast enough as it was, he saw no reason not to suddenly slam on the brakes and do a U turn to stop at the car, an action which almost made Harry and Ron loose their breakfast and Lunch.

"Thank God! We can't-," Hermione told Draco when he jumped out of the car.

"The leather interior! It's RUINED!" Draco shouted, ignoring her. He then ran to where Blaise was trying to pry the roof up, pushed Blaise back, and as smoothly as possible, pulled up the roof.

"How did you-?" Blaise asked, amazed.

"Mixture of fear of my father and the love of those seats," Draco explained.

Then as quickly as it started, the rain stopped to reveal a baby blue sky and a colourful rainbow.

"Oh my God! YOU ARE REALLY ASKING FOR IT, YOU ARE THREADING ON REALLY, REALLY THIN ICE MISTER!" Pansy screamed, once more, at the sky.

"Who's she talking to?" Harry asked Blaise.

"No one knows, Harry, no one knows," Blaise said calmly.

When Pansy stopped screaming, everyone let out a sigh of relief, that was, before Draco started screaming at the state of the car. The inside was soaked and the floor squelched when someone stood on it. The leather treatment on the seats were starting to smell quite bad as the water seeped through and when the radio was turned on, nothing came out of it, but static.

"I'm dead! You hear me, dead!" Draco howled.

"Quit with the dramatics, you're not dead; you couldn't have prevented this," Harry said trying to comfort him.

"Tell me, do you have an over possessive, bad tempered, money grabbing, puppy stealing, mafia hiring, drug dealing, Kite ripping, Hair pulling, people beating, paper editing, knife collecting, race gambling, caffeine drinking, alcoholic of a father?" Draco questioned really fast.

"Your dad edits papers?" Hermione asked, mentally going over Draco's colourful description of his father.

"I was going with the flow, alright?" Draco protested.

"Kite ripping? Hair pulling? Puppy stealing?" Pansy asked, laughing.

"Fine, insult me! I don't care, I don't need friends!" Draco declared, pretending to be insulted.

"Draco we were never your friends!" Pansy stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Fine, I don't need a posse!"

"We're not your posse."

"Gang?"

"No."

"Crew?"

"No."

"Homies?"

"Hell no."

"Amigos?"

"Don't use your fancy language on me, the answer is no!"

"Fine, I don't need your … acquaintanceship any more!" Draco concluded and walked off in a mock huff.

Pansy smiled. "He's hilarious Harry, where'd you find him? I want one!"

Harry only laughed in response.

* * *

The six teens had to wait for about two hours while the seats dried a little bit, as if they were to sit down, they would have found themselves in a puddle of water. So to pass the time the six of them went to a nearby inn to get lunch, much to Ron's delight.

"Pansy, I forgot to ask, who were you talking to earlier?" Blaise asked from behind a huge plate of chips.

"When?" Pansy asked.

"Earlier, when it was raining," Blaise reminded her.

"Oh, that. The rain god," Pansy stated matter of fancily.

"The rain God?" Blaise, Ron and Harry asked in unison.

"Yes the rain god, he's out to get me because when my cousin was over we did some Wicca spell to make it rain because we were not invited to Suzy's garden party, Total bitch, I'll tell you later. Anyway, while we were doing the spell my mom called us down for some spaghetti so the two of us, because we were hungry, ran down without finishing the spell. Now while we were eating the potion must have mutated or something, because when we went back upstairs, it had turned Pink and was bubbling, but before we could take the potion and throw it away, a huge shadow of smoke filled the room and then a voice said, 'You have ruined my heavenly powers of the rain, now you will face my wrath, I am the rain god and my wrath is your fear, I have warned you, beware!'," Pansy explained.

"Is that true?" Draco asked. Everyone else at the table let out a sigh of frustration and humour. Typical Draco.

"Of course it's true! What else would explain the sudden rainfall and its sudden stopping once the roof was on?" Pansy told him.

"It's called dumb luck," Blaise said.

"It's called divine intervention! The rain god was stopped before he could flood the world!" Both Pansy and Draco countered.

"Don't tell me you believe this Draco?" Harry asked.

"Of course he does, the rain god has always been trying to kill all of humanity!" Pansy said, answering for Draco.

"Fine, name five instances," Ron told him, annoyed that their argument was stopping him from eating.

"Well, 1. Noah's ark, everyone knows that one. 2. Jumanji, rain just does not fall in a house without a reason. 3. The pond in my front garden, every year the water gets lower and lower, it's a conspiracy I tell you! 4. Blocked up toilets, it's so the toilet water starts to slowly flood the whole house. And 5. Filtered water, or as I call it the silent killer, the rain God has 'filtered' water 'filtered' with poison!" Pansy ended dramatically.

"I have another one! Torrential rain!" Draco said.

"Torrential rain is not because of the Rain God, Draco," pansy scolded.

"How do you know?" Draco countered.

"Because I do, and don't use that tone with me!"

"No you don't, and I'm not using a tone!"

"Are you starting with me, bitch?"

"What if I am?"

"Do you want me to sock you one, 'cause I will!"

"Pansy, Pansy, Pansy, I'm not like the other men in your life, I will hit you back!" (Jack from Will and Grace, you gotta love him!)

* * *

Anyway, another chapter, another day, another migraine! (I don't have a migraine by the way!)

Please R&R!


	8. Of Paintings and Shergar

And here comes the next chapter!

I wanted to get this out yesterday, but, things came up so I had other things, not better things BTW, to do.

It's out now, that's all that matters, right? Right!

**Chapter 8 of Paintings and Shergar**

**Night 3**

When the six teens finally reached Paris, everyone was tired and, in Ron's case, hungry. It was midnight, and everyone they looked, all the teens could see was lights and people, with quite a lot of shops.

"… 23 …" Pansy counted.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked, from beside her.

"Counting all the couples I see … Ohhh, look a threesome! ……"

"Right," Hermione said and continued to drive while concerned for her friend's sanity.

"I think we should stay here tomorrow to look at the sites and all," Pansy suggested.

Hermione pretended to faint at those words, car swerving in the process, "Oh my God, Pansy and CULTURE? I thought I'd never see the day!" She said dramatically, as you might expect, Pansy and culture do not get on.

"Culture? Hell no! Imagine all the snogging places around here!" She exclaimed, while eyeing dark, anonymous corners thoughtfully.

Hermione sighed in reply, the day Pansy gets cultured, would be the day Draco sleeps with a woman.

* * *

"We're finally here!" Ron said from the passenger seat.

"Finally, we were driving for the whole day! It's mad," Harry huffed.

"At least we're almost there, that's one good thing," Ron said, shrugging.

"We're almost halfway, but we still have to get through France and Switzerland,"

"Where are we going by the way?"

"Vienna, you mean that you didn't even know where we were heading to?"

"I forgot, ok?"

"What if you were driving and everyone else was sleeping in the car, and you didn't know where to go, we'd probably end up in Estonia or something!"

"Estonia?"

"Beside Latvia and Lithuania, joined the EU in 2004 and- wait, why am I giving you an EU history lesson?"

"Duh, it was your special subject on mastermind,"

"I was quite a geek back then, weren't I?"

"Yes," Ron laughed.

"You weren't supposed to say that, Draco is the mean one, you're supposed to be the nice one that doesn't insult me!"

"Yeah, sure, sorry to break it to you, Harry, but I'm not one of your 'Girlfriends', I'm the brutally honest one that always says what's on his mind. And doesn't care shit about the consequences!"

"Yes, you one in a million you are," Harry said sarcastically.

"Damn right,"

"Awww … Draco's sleeping!"

"I knew it was too quiet for it to be true!"

As if on cue, however, the sleeping Draco shouted, "I wanna ride the pink llama!"

* * *

That night, the six friends found a nice hotel to stay in, it was better than the other two at least, and there weren't any cockroaches or hairy receptionists at this one. The friends were also able to get a two bedroom room, which they have for two nights, as they decided to stay in Paris for the day. Harry, Ron and Blaise took one room labelled the 'boys' room, and Hermione, Pansy and Draco took the other room labelled 'The-would-be-girls-room-if-Draco-didn't-have-a-penis-but-he's-here-to-gossip-with-us-anyway-so-get-used-to-it' Room. It was altogether very confusing, as no one was allowed to enter the room with out saying the password, which was the name of the room.

"So, tell me, did I miss anything good?" Draco asked, lying down on his bed.

"Yeah you did, guess who the new couple is?" Pansy asked mischievously, while Hermione blushed.

"Who?" Draco asked, sitting up quickly.

"Our very own 'Mione here and guess who?"

"Who!"

"Blaise!" Pansy declared.

"Didn't know you were into the stoner type, Hermione, so what happened?"

"Caught the two of them in a liplock!" Pansy told him winningly.

"You didn't!"

"I did!"

"You whore, Hermione!"

"Like you're one to talk, Draco!" Hermione laughed.

"Excuse me; I am actually quite a classy guy!" Draco said indignantly.

"Right," Both Hermione and Pansy said.

"I am!"

"So do all classy guys shag like rabbits on heat?" Pansy asked.

"Of coursed we do, how do you think we get our kicks? Reading?"

"Oh yeah, I can so imagine you reading, have you finished reading Dr. Seuss's books yet?" Hermione joked.

"Halfway through 'Cat in the Hat' bitch of a story that one!"

"Yeah, it's really challenging, all that rhyming must really hurt your head," Hermione droned, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, poor Barbie here can only read about four words a day," Pansy chimed in.

"Like you're one to talk, what was your last book, ABC for toddlers?"

"Sarcasm is really becoming on you, Draco,"

"I know its part of the package of being in my family."

"Including his ego," Hermione whispered to Pansy, so Draco couldn't hear them.

* * *

In the boy's room, the conversation was also about Blaise and Hermione's new relationship.

"So you just kissed her?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, didn't really know what got into me, it just felt right," Blaise answered with a dreamy look on his face as he remembered their first kiss.

"The same with me and Pansy," Ron agreed.

"I didn't know you two were closeted romantics," Harry laughed watching his two friends fanaticise about their first kisses with their girlfriends.

"Didn't know you were a closeted gay two years ago!" Ron said.

"So you're getting me back then?"

"Of course, I've been know to hold a grudge (Urgh, that movie terrified me!) For quite a long time,"

"I'll keep that in mind. I was just saying though, that I'd never thought I'd see the day when you two start getting all drooley over your girlfriends," Harry finished.

"And you and your 'girlfriend' are any better?" Blaise asked, using bunny ears when saying girlfriend.

"I do not dream about kissing him like you tow!" Harry argued.

"No you'd rather stare at his arse whenever he walks in front of you," Ron stated.

"I do not!"

"Harry, you do, we've all seen it, stop denying it!" Blaise said, sounding kind of like a therapist.

"I'd rather not talk about this," Harry said, trying to deflect the conversation.

"I'd have to agree with Harry with that one, my favourite topic is not exactly Draco's arse," Ron shuddered, visibly shivering at the mental imagery (Probably the only one, however!)

"So what do you want to talk about?" Blaise asked Ron.

Ron thought for a moment … "Food!"

"Goodnight Ron," His other two friends said.

* * *

It was about three in the morning and Draco, Pansy and Hermione were still up, and this time, they were leafing through the numerous magazines that they had brought with them.

"Ohhh, look at this! '10 things you must have for summer'," Pansy squealed.

"Err … Pansy, its autumn, summer is over," Hermione told her with a knowing shake of her head.

"Yeah … I knew that …" Pansy said, not making eye contact with Hermione.

"What are you reading Draco?" Pansy asked after noticing how engrossed he was in a magazine.

"The 'Personal Problems' section," He answered.

"You're a sick bastard, Draco, you know that? I want to read it!" Pansy said.

She reached over and tried to take the magazine of him, but Draco, who was still reading intently, kept a firm grip on it. Then Pansy tried to pry his fingers off, but failed. Then for about a minute she stopped and sat back down to read again. Draco kept an eye on her, knowing full well that she was plotting something. But after another minute, he let his guard down and continued to read. The next thing what happened was totally unexpected by both Draco and Hermione. Pansy, noticing how Draco went back to reading, pounced on him while making kung fu noises, and tried to tackle the magazine off him. After about five minutes of arguing like toddlers over the last building block, Pansy had finally got the magazine, having beating Draco into submission.

"Yes! I got it!" She yelled from where she sat straddling Draco's chest, effectively pining him down.

She started the read the problems section only to let out a grumble, "Bah! I've already read this one; here you can have it back."

She tossed the fully ripped and creased at Draco where it landed about a metre away from him.

"Wow, great throw, Pansy," Draco said sarcastically, still trying to get her off him.

"I'd like to see you do better, you weakling," Pansy defended, watching with glee as Draco tried to get up but couldn't.

"I'm not a weakling!" Draco yelled.

"Yet, you can't get a girl off you."

"I'd never had the chance to see if I could!"

"Well, then you shouldn't have been gay in the first place."

"That means nothing!"

"Yes it does, I once heard my dad say that when people are gay they trade stuff like their 'manly' strength and crap to God."

"That makes absolutely no sense what so ever."

"I know, but it's funny to hear him at it though, he absolutely hates you, you know that? He only lets me hang out with you because he works with your dad."

"Actually, that makes a lot of sense. Every time I walk into your house, I always get that feeling that a big blade or something was about to swoop down and kill me!"

"That's because it's true!"

"Could you get off me now, I'm starting to go numb."

"Get me off then!" then she thought about what she had just said, "Actually, no, just … no."

Draco visibly cringed at the thought.

"If you were straight, we'd probably be making out right here on the floor at this stage." Pansy stated.

"Great, thanks for the visual."

"You're probably the only person in the hotel, except Harry of course, who wouldn't get excited about being this close to a girl."

"Isn't that a pity." Draco said sarcastically. He squirmed some more.

"Please get off me! Please!"

"I love it when they beg."

"You sadistic bitch!"

"You love it."

Draco continued to struggle some more, but found it fruitless.

"It would be easier if you were lighter," Draco sneered.

Pansy gasped and jumped up off Draco, with a scandalised look on her face.

"No way did you just say that!" She said horrified.

"Finally I can get up," He said rubbing his sore backside.

Next thing he knew, he was pined up to the wall by an angry Pansy. Hermione in all of this continued to read blissfully oblivious to what was going on around her.

"Did you just call me FAT?" screamed a panicked Pansy.

"No, I just said that I can't get you off me that easily because you're heavy, that does not mean you're fat," Draco said trying to defend himself.

"YES IT DOES!" she screeched back, eyes flaring as her grip on him tightened.

"No it doesn't, you're what, a size ten?" He tried, absolutely terrified that Pansy was about to castrate him.

"STOP IT, A SIZE 10 IS FAT!"

"That's not fat, that's curvy, and I'm sure you know how much boys love curvy girls over those stick thin girls, like take … me for example, I wouldn't want to be your best friend if you were like a lollipop stick, and the same goes for Hermione too, you two are the prettiest girls I know because you are everything a woman should be! And Pansy, you would not believe how many boys watch your ass when you walk!" Draco said, grovelling was certainty needed to get out of the hot seat.

"Really?" Pansy asked, loosening her grip on him.

"Yes, I was counting, I wouldn't want my Pansy to just go to anyone now, would I? Did you know that Ron asked me first if it was ok to ask you out?"

"You serious?"

"Dead serious, the same goes with Hermione, You two don't know this but I'm always watching out for both of you."

"Awww, that is so sweet!" Pansy said and then enveloped him into a huge hug, Hermione, who was listening also joined the hug. They stood there for about five minutes hugging.

"Hey, it's like we have our very own personal bodyguard!" Pansy said.

"Yeah, our very own gay bodyguard," Hermione corrected.

"I'm not gay!" Draco told them.

"Sure you're not, you just learned how to give mind shattering blowjobs by reading 'Playboy' magazine," Pansy said.

"What?" Draco asked totally confused.

"Draco, darling, don't think we've never heard yourself and Harry when you think you're alone," Pansy continued.

"You're all perverts you know that?"

* * *

The next morning after breakfast, the six teens went out to the beautiful city of Paris. It was about midday and the sun was shining, and the ground was littered with read and golden leaves from the trees.

"Isn't this lovely!" Hermione exclaimed, even after only getting about 5 hours of sleep or so, Hermione, Pansy and Draco were wide awake.

"Yeah, but do you know what would be even nicer?" Pansy asked.

"What?"

"SHOPPING!" both Hermione and Pansy exclaimed.

"The amount of shops here, Hermione, you wouldn't believe it until you witness it for real!"

"Yeah, I went here when I was thirteen, but back then, shopping didn't really appeal to me," Hermione confessed.

"But I can remember all the shops I would pass to get to the bookshop."

"Typical, really, Hermione you're in the city of love, and you read," Pansy scoffed.

"I was thirteen remember?"

"When I was thirteen I had already felt a boy's balls."

"That's because you're a whore Pansy."

"And damn proud of it!"

And with that they ran off to where the first row of boutiques was.

"Aren't you going with them, Draco?" Harry asked.

"No."

"Why?"

"They need to spread their wings and fly!"

He gained worried looks from the three other boys.

"Fine, I couldn't be bothered to go with them."

Ron almost fainted, "Did you hear that? Draco Malfoy doesn't want to go shopping, in Paris!" he exclaimed.

"Don't make a big parade of it, I just don't feel like it," Draco defended.

"Somebody call a doctor quick!" Blaise said placing a hand on Draco's forehead while pretending to dial 911.

"What's the big deal about me not wanting to shop," Draco asked, brushing Blaise's hand off.

"Draco, love, listen to what you had just said," Harry told him.

Draco seemed to think about it for a minute, facia expression changing from wonder, to realisation, to surprise.

"That is just so out of character for me, it's unreal," He told them after a while, and with that he ran off to join Pansy and Hermione.

"One day, Harry, one day," Ron soothed, as Harry sighed and took out his wallet.

* * *

Hermione, Pansy and Draco spent all morning buying clothes and accessories, on their boyfriend's expenses. Despite the fact that both Draco and Pansy were rich, if felt necessary for both Ron and Harry to buy them at least one nice thing. That one nice thing, however, mutated into one hundred nice things. They were now at a little café, where they were having lunch. All the shopping bags were brought back to the hotel rooms as the amount of cloths bought would have filled up the rest of the café.

"It's half five, can we do something else but shop?" Ron asked Pansy, who was snuggled up to him.

"I'm sure we could, Hermione suggestions?"

"Well, we could go to the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa," Hermione suggested.

"Ohhh, I've always wanted to see that painting! Can we go Harry, please?" Draco asked, surprising everyone, by saying that.

"Ummm … sure, we can get a bus to there after lunch." Harry agreed, basically because he was sick of shopping.

When they entered the Louvre, all six teens were blown away by the size of it, and that was just the entrance. They decided against getting a guided tour, seeing as Hermione seemed to know everything about the Louvre without the need of a guide book.

They spent the first hour or so looking at the sculptures and the architecture.

Then they moved on to where the paintings and drawings were to go see the Mona Lisa, which they found was packed full of other tourists hoping to see the painting as well.

"Wow, I'd never thought I'd see this many people in a museum," Pansy noted.

"This painting is a very famous painting Pansy, loads of people would come here to see it, heck, that's why some people go to Paris!" Hermione explained.

"So some people don't go here to shop?"

"Yes," Hermione nodded.

"What a crazy world we live in," Pansy shook her head in agreement.

"Some people are cultured, Pansy, and to some people, material possessions aren't the basics for living!" Hermione snapped.

Pansy raised an eyebrow at her best friend, Hermione had never snapped at her before, and this new Hermione was quite scary.

"Listen. I'm sorry 'Mione, I can tell that this is important to you," Pansy apologised.

"That's alright, it's just that I've always wanted to see this painting," Hermione explained.

"Oh no, I understand perfectly, I wouldn't like it if I wanted to see something that was important to me and then to have my best friend get all huffy because she wanted to do something else."

"Thanks Pansy."

"Any time!"

"Hey, guys did I ever tell you about that time when my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, Tobias Malfoy, stole the Mona Lisa?" Draco asked.

"WHAT?" His five friends questioned.

"You're telling me, that it was your family that almost burned down that painting?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, it's just a family thing, Leonardo de Vinci was the best friend of Tobias, but then they got into a fight over something … I can't remember, anyway, so Tobias, because Leonardo was a better painter, stole Leonardo's latest painting, the Mona Lisa, who was actually the wife of Francesco del Giocondo, just to spit him. Then he hid the painting underneath his desk where no one could find it. Now, one cold night, Tobias set a fire to warm up, and of course he fell asleep, which meant that the fire went unattended. The next thing he knew, the whole room was totally alight with flames. So when people came to put the fire out and Tobias was rescued, of course they found the painting. But before Tobias could be imprisoned he committed suicide by slitting his throat with his wife's kitchen knife, the painting was returned to Leonardo, who then finished it," Draco finished.

"Wow, is that true?" Blaise asked.

"Yeah, my grandfather thought it necessary for me to know about what my ancestors had done in the past, and as you can guess, that story was one of the more covered up story," Draco explained.

"Why was this never in a history book?" Hermione asked.

"Like I said, It was all covered up, even the fire," Draco told her.

"Creepy, so I assume your family has done other things like this before?" Hermione asked again.

"Yeah, my great-uncle stole Shergar!"

"He stole the 1981 Derby winner? Nobody ever found him again, heck people are still looking for him! Where did your great-uncle take him?" Hermione asked.

"We're not sure, he was disowned because his father, my great-great uncle always used to bet on Shergar on races, so naturally when Jebidiah stole him, he was furious. We haven't seen him since."

"Family histories can be so seedy!" Ron exclaimed.

Draco laughed in agreement, "I'll probably have to assonate some world leader to uphold the 'Family Honour'," Draco said, using bunny ears on the words Family honour.

"I really wouldn't put it past you," Ron said.

"Thanks Ron!"

* * *

Finally the crowds moved and the six teens were able to see the infamous painting.

"Awww … it's so small, I was expecting it to be bigger!" Ron complained.

"Just because things are small doesn't make them insignificant," Hermione told him.

"Kind of like Draco!" Pansy said brightly.

"It she happy or sad?" Draco asked, having not heard the comment Pansy made on his height again, while he peered at the painting.

"No one knows Draco," Hermione explained.

"I reckon she's happy, look she's smiling!" Draco said.

"You're wrong, she's obviously sad, she's frowning!" Blaise corrected him.

"Well, you're wrong, does she look sad to you?" Draco asked Harry.

"Well," Harry said peering at the picture, "She does look a bit happy."

"There, see I told you!" Draco said, while doing a victory dance around Blaise.

"But she also looks sad," Harry finished, Draco instantly stopped dancing and turned to face Harry.

"You were supposed to defend me!" Draco told him.

"I agreed with both of you!" Harry defended.

"No you didn't, first you agreed with me, but then you changed your mind and said that she was sad!"

"I think she's sad too," Ron said.

"I can't believe this! She is so obviously happy, look at her, she's smiling for heaven's sake!" Draco pointed out.

"She's frowning Draco, get over it," Blaise said.

"She's not, look," Draco pointed at the painting.

"Maybe, but look at her eyes, she has a sad, pining look in her eyes that is so obvious that anyone, except you, can see it!" Blaise argued.

"She has a happy glint in her eye which makes her look happy!" Draco argued back.

"Wow, who'd ever though we'd see the day when those four argue over a painting," Hermione whispered to Pansy.

Pansy laughed in agreement, "Well, this proves one thing."

"What?"

"That boy's can fight over anything!"

* * *

Wow, long chapter for you all, 3,600 words and 9 pages, feel honoured!

Please R&R, without all of you, this would be a crappy one-shot with no plot and no humour!

And thanks to everyone who reviewed so far! Love you all!


	9. Hot man in a Dress

A/N: OMG! I actually don't have anything to say, that's kind of spooky!

Oh, wait I've got one!

**A/N:** I'm getting important exam results next Wednesday (The 14th) so I might not have any updates for a while after that, I'll try to write something (If I get good results I'll write a sex scene!) but I'm well behind on my other fic 'Popularity' so I might write another chapter for that.

Anyway, that is all!

_Once again, I'd like to pimp a story for you all; read AubreyElla's story, "Promising Opportunities" It's excellent, and has really yummy Bottom!Draco too! I suggest you go read; she's a brilliant author with a great writing style!_

**OK, going to continue this now, but first, I might put this story up on my LJ, I know I've said that for almost every fic I've ever written, but this time I'm serious!**

**_I did really well in my Junior Cert, so because I'm feeling so good, I'm going to write my first ever sex scene! Don't flame me if it's crap, please, I don't have the mental capacity to deal with flames at the moment!_**

**All the drunken situations in this chapter are taken from my junior cert night, just so you know what we got up to!**

* * *

**Chapter 9. Hot man in a Dress** (Thanks Aubrey!)

**Night 4**

"So what do you want to do now?" Harry asked his companions, it was late in the evening, about 11 maybe, and none of the teens wanted to go to bed.

"Let's go clubbing!" Pansy suggested. She has been bored for most of the day when they were finished shopping, so it would also be the perfect way to get rid of her boredom, and would heighten her chances of a snog with her boyfriend.

"Sure, know anywhere?" Harry asked.

"No where with alcohol please," Hermione asked.

The other five teens stared at her in disbelief, what's a night out without some drink, and perhaps some weed? (Remember kids, drink sensibly and smoke accordingly!)

"Hermione, babe, you can't not have fun without alcohol," Blaise said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"I second that, let's go!" Pansy exclaimed, and with that she grabbed Ron's hand and dragged him towards the town, where music could be heard booming from where they stood.

"We'll have fun alright? I'll take care of you," Blaise whispered to Hermione, who was still nervous about going.

"You sure?" She asked.

"Of course," And then he pulled her gently after Ron and Pansy.

"She's going to get stoned out of her mind tonight, isn't she?" Draco asked Harry.

Harry laughed and turned to peck Draco on the cheek, who tried to capture Harry's lips in a passionate kiss, only to have Harry pull away.

"Later ok?" Harry asked.

Draco smirked and nodded. Then both of them went after their other friends, hand in hand.

* * *

The music was pounding while the six teens waited in line outside of the club. The "Vertigo de club" was a very popular club, and almost every young person who went to Paris always seemed to visit it, doesn't matter when. There was a big bouncer at the door checking ID's and making sure no one under-aged got in. He was currently telling a girl, who was dressed in red leather, that 'It doesn't matter what you were wearing as long as it's tasteful' as he grimaced at the monstrosity that was the girls mini skirt and corset top.

The six teens, after finding the club, ran to their hotel room first, to dress into something more 'appropriate' as Pansy put it. She was currently wearing a mini skirt that looked like a scarf tied around her waist and a halter neck top that showed off almost all her cleavage. She decided, however, not to wear the thigh high hooker boots, instead opting for her white leather stiletto boots. (I love shoes; just thought you people would like some info about me!) This made her about 4 inches taller.

Hermione, who decided to go a little less sluttish, went for a longer knee length skirt with a tasteful belly top, which Pansy convinced her to wear; she also wore a pair of boots with smaller heels than Pansy, but still high none the less. Both girls also did their make up and then did Draco's too, after telling him how much black eyeliner really brings out his eyes. Not that Draco was a complete stranger to make up or anything. Pansy also suggested that he'd go in drag as well, which Draco enjoyed the thought of immensely.

"Don't you make a gorgeous girl!" Pansy and Hermione squealed after ten minutes of picking out clothes for him to wear.

Draco, who was standing in from of a mirror admiring his new look, couldn't help but agree with them. Pansy loaned him her black leather skirt which went up about mid thigh, a red tube top, even though he had nothing to fill it with and black leather boots which was also borrowed from Pansy. His makeup, like the two girls, was put on rather heavily, with dark eyeliner and silver eyeshadow. And to top it all off … glitter!

"I have to say, I don't look half bad!" Draco exclaimed.

"Of course you don't, I've always said that you would make a perfect woman," Pansy said knowledgeably, "If it weren't for your lack of female assets, I'd think you were one!"

"Harry and the guys are so going to freak when they see this!" Hermione laughed.

The three other boys were sitting in the lounge waiting for the other three to get ready and join them. Like most boys, all were wondering how long, exactly, did it take to pick something to wear? But then, they are boys, and it's much harder to find a tasteful and suitable outfit as opposed to just throwing on a pair of jeans and a shirt.

They were just about to knock to see what was taking so long when Pansy, Hermione and Draco made their appearance. At first, no one noticed Draco's 'new' look, as he was standing behind the two girls, but when Pansy moved aside, declaring to everyone that 'Draco has finally had his operation', all three jaws dropped at the sight of him.

"Err … guys? It's rude to stare," Pansy reminded them, poking Harry in the ribs. The three boys still stood shocked at their friend, and Harry's boyfriend. It was Harry who broke the silence, however.

"What are you wearing Draco!" Harry exclaimed.

"Don't you like it?" Draco asked sweetly.

"Well … it's … just … um … well …" Stuttered Harry.

"I could have worn the police uniform, it was just too formal," Draco explained, trying hard not to laugh at the expression on Ron's face which looked to be between horror and fear. Pansy and Hermione were literally crying with laughter at this point.

Harry wasn't sure where to look, he didn't want to appear to be pervy or anything, but, damn, Draco in a skirt was too hot for words, and that scared Harry. Immensely. He never thought how much he would enjoying seeing a man in women's clothing, and if little Harry was anything to go by, he was enjoy it a bit too much.

"Erm … what brought this on?" Blaise asked, breaking the silence this time.

"Felt like it, I decided, that since Lucius or 'Daddy dearest' as he'd like to be called, wasn't here, I'd go a bit wild, and try something new!" Draco told them.

"Something new … I love your choice of words," Ron said sarcastically.

"Did you shave your legs?" Harry blurted out, after noticing how smooth Draco's legs were.

Draco looked scandalized, "Of course I shaved my legs, why would I not!"

"Well … it's just-," Harry began.

"Oh, I know what you want, you wanna feel?" Draco asked.

Harry was torn weather to touch the offered leg or not, in the end curiosity got the better than him and he placed his hand just above Draco's kneecap. The leg was completely smooth, which surprised Harry, and he couldn't help but rub the leg a bit just to see if every bit was hairless. Pretty soon he forgot that there were other people in the room as his second hand joined the other in their exploration of Draco's legs. As his hand started to go up higher to mid thigh, Hermione decided it was best to stop him, before Harry's hands got a bit too preoccupied.

"Sorry," Harry blushed, and he quickly took his hands away. He still couldn't understand why he loved Draco dressed like this so much.

* * *

They were still waiting in line. The club was filling up fast, and all kinds of people made an appearance. Some people were dressed so strangely, they made Draco's attire look normal. Finally after about ten minutes of waiting they got in, without any trouble from the bouncer, who only raised an eyebrow when Draco's ID said he was 'male'. Inside the music boomed louder, causing their ears to hurt at first before they adjusted to the pounding of the dance music currently playing. The six friends managed to get a table to the edge of the bar, which was lucky, as there were a lot of people around.

"Ok, what do we want?" Pansy asked brightly as they all sat down.

"Anything with alcohol!" Blaise shouted desperately.

"Something more specific please," Pansy snapped.

"I'll just have a beer," Ron told her, patting her hand.

"Yeah me too," Harry said.

"Screaming orgasm," Draco said.

"What!" Harry and Ron asked.

"It's a cocktail, you people don't even know what a good drink is," Pansy scolded.

"Oh," Both boys said sheepishly.

"Hermione, what do you want?" Pansy asked, still glaring at Ron and Harry and muttering about their lack of alcohol knowledge.

"Erm … I'll just have a lemonade," Hermione said.

"Excuse me?" Pansy asked, pretending not to have heard Hermione.

"I mean, I'll have a gin and tonic," Hermione changed quickly.

"Good girl," Pansy said, and with that she went to get their drinks.

* * *

Pansy was gone a while, and the five teens were getting impatient with her. Blaise, who was sober for most of the trip, was so anxious to get his drink that he started twitching and fidgeting. Draco, who was sitting across from him, got so annoyed at his constant moving that he went to find Pansy. (My friend, she left after throwing up all over the place!)

Draco finally found his way to the bar, where an already tipsy Pansy was singing to herself.

"Draco! Dracoooooo!" Pansy sung when she saw him coming, bring Draco to the attention of everyone sitting at the bar, "This is my friend Draco! He's a boy, but he's a girl!" She told the rather confused people around her.

"Sober up Pansy, I'm not dragging your ass back to the hotel tonight," Draco said.

"Yes you will, you LOOOOOOVEEEEEE me!" Pansy shouted splashing some of the drink from the shot glass onto the counter. "The precious liquid! It's dying! DYING! Call the Ambiance (Yes this misspelling was intentional!), it's DYYYYYYINGGGGGG!" She crooned, much to the amusement of the people around her and to Draco's disgust.

"Come on, let's get you back to the table, how many drinks did you have?" Draco asked.

"Erm … three and a half!"

"She had five shots," A man sitting near her told Draco.

"Thanks, she's such a bloody alcoholic, she had her stomach pumped twice," Draco informed the man, who smiled and went back to his drink.

"Let's get back to the table Pansy, Ron's waiting."

"RON!" Pansy's head shot up upon hearing her boyfriend's name.

"Yeah, but he's not going to like seeing you all drunk like this," Draco said trying to get her to sober up a bit.

"I'm perfectly fine; I'm not drunk at all!" She said, as she suddenly stumbled when getting off the barstool and almost knocking some drinks out a passing girl's hand.

"Sure you're not," Draco said and started to drag her back. Everyone at the bar was still watching them, or more precisely, him.

"What? You've never seen a man in drag before? Get over yourselves," Draco snapped at them which made everyone to turn around and continued drinking their drinks. Draco rolled his eyes.

"People I swear, they're just like animals, when I rule the world, and I will, I'll get rid of them all," Draco muttered darkly.

"Did you ever know that you're my heeeeeerrroooooo?" Pansy wailed.

"It's going to a great night!" Draco declared brightly, and drowned down a shot that Pansy didn't drink.

* * *

Two hours later, and drinks galore, Hermione was swaying in the middle of the dance floor in a drunken state. She didn't seem to be dancing to a strict rhythm and she was swaying much too slow for the fast dance track playing at the moment. All in all, Hermione Granger was stoned out of her mind. (One of my friends after getting his hands on some vodka!)

"Hermione?" Harry asked cautiously, as she continued to sway to the invisible beat.

"Henry," She said, nodding. (Calling Harry Henry was intentional too!)

"What were you drinking?" Harry asked.

"Drink," She said as calmly.

"Right, what were you smoking then?"

"Stuff," came the answer as calm as before.

"Harryyyyyy!" came a shout and then Pansy and Draco burst through the crowd.

"Harry, I missed you!" Draco declared, throwing himself at Harry.

"I saw you five minutes ago," Harry told him.

"That's ages!" Draco complained. "You're supposed to be my boyfriend! You're supposed to care about me!"

"I do care about you," Harry told him, and then Harry started leading him away from the dance floor and back to their table.

"Hey Harry," Ron said. Ron like Harry could hold his drink very well and still had some of his sanity left.

"Ron, I'd get Hermione out of there if I were you, I think she took something," Harry told him, while sitting Draco, who was looking at his fingers amazed, down on one of the chairs.

Ron nodded and got up and went to the dance floor to get Hermione.

"Harry?" Draco asked.

"Yes, love?" Harry answered.

""Do you know where my pants are?" Draco asked.

"You're not wearing any, pet," Harry told him. He was well used to a drunk Draco at this stage and Harry knew the only way to deal with him was to answer as simply as possible, and use lots of pet names. (When one of my mates is drunk, she only answers to 'darling')

"Oh yeah, Why?"

"Because you didn't want to."

"Hehe, I'm wearing a dress! Do you like my dress?"

"I love your dress, Draco."

"It's leather you know, that comes from sheep."

"Leather is cow actually."

"Don't you diss the cows! What did they ever do to you?"

"Nothing."

"Oh ok … wanna make out?"

"Sure."

* * *

Hermione, after consuming even more alcohol was now dancing topless in the middle of the dance floor. She had whipped off her top and was now waving it above her head like a banner shouting 'I'm open for business!' (This was one of my friends after two cans a larger!) Ron was trying to get to her to bring her back to the table, but the crowd of men around her was too large for him to break through. In the end Ron ran up the stairs and to where the balcony was, then, with a battle cry, he jumped off the balcony right into the centre of the circle and where Hermione was.

Ron got boos and hisses when he covered Hermione up with the shirt and escorted her out. Ron didn't care though, as long as his friend was safe, he could be the most unpopular person in the world. When he brought her back to the table they were greeted with the sight of Harry and Draco making out quite heavily, Ron 'ahemed' a few times but the two just wouldn't break apart. Hermione was just sitting there giggling at nothing. Ron wasn't sure what to do, Hermione was stoned out of her mind and Harry and Draco were close to be arrested for public displays. Then he saw Pansy, who was ordering another vodka shot, and he jumped up to rescue her before she got too drunk.

"Pansy, I think you've have a bit too much to drink," Ron stated.

"No I haven't! It's only three! I can make some?" Pansy shouted.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," Ron said, and with that he took her back to the table.

When he got back, Blaise had also made an appearance and was in the process of giving Hermione a joint, who took it eagerly an took a long drag from it. She finished with a giggle and a hiccough.

"It makes the room whirl!" She exclaimed to Blaise.

"And Spin!" Blaise agreed, taking another puff.

"Like a bottle!"

"Or a dog!"

"Dog's don't spin."

"Cats do."

"Hehe … do!"

"Do?"

"Do do!" The both exclaimed, giggling..

And then both of them laughed out loud and started hugging and petting each other. Ron shook his head and drowned his fourth beer of the night.

"My shift is over," He said, he wasn't going to play chaperone to his friends when he should be getting smashed as well.

* * *

In the corner of their booth, The rather raunchy make out session between Harry and Draco was just getting hotter and hotter, and both boys, who were completely oblivious to everyone around, were so aroused that the only thing they could think of was to get as close to each other as possible. Harry sat on the chair with Draco straddled across his thighs, hands running up and down Harry's chest, fingers pinching Harry's nipples as he ran across them. Harry's hands were clutching Draco's pert bum trying to press Draco closer to him. Luckily Draco's skirt made it easy for Harry to grab his bare skin.

"Harry, I want you now!" Draco gasped, breaking apart just to say that until his mouth was captured by Harry's again.

In response, Harry lifted Draco off his lap and got up and pulled Draco up with him, never breaking the contact they had with their lips. Then between gropes and snogs they managed to make their way to the dirty, grimy bathroom at the back of the club.

**XXXXXX SEX XXXXXX (If you want it tell me and I'll send it to you!)**

Both boys looked thoroughly shagged, Harry's clothes were all wrinkled and his hair was more tossed than usual, and Draco's make up was a mess, as sweat made it run.

"Look at me!" Draco laughed as he studied his smudged lipstick and running mascara in the bathroom mirror.

"I look like I just got lucky!"

"That's because you did," Harry reminded him.

"Yeah, in a grimy, smelly club toilet," Draco said laughing. Harry joined in with the laughter and hugged Draco from behind and smoothed down his skirt.

"Do you know what this skirt did to me?" Harry exclaimed.

"Yeah, little Harry gave me a clue," Draco smiled.

"Little bugger," Harry muttered.

"He has your best interests at heart," Draco told him, then thought for a moment.

"Well, head really!"

* * *

Well, there we go chapter 9 and a sex scene. MY FIRST EVER ONE! Man I finally did one, after years of reading them, I finally wrote one myself, I hope it was good!

If you want the scene tell me! I don't want this fic to be taken down which was why Itook outthe scene! An email or review with your email address will do and I'll send you the chapter ASAP!

Anyway, please R&R, and if you do, I'll write a sex scene between another couple, Ron and Pansy next probably, but if you want HermioneBlaise just tell me and I'll see which one people want the most!

Thanks to all my reviewers, I honestly never expected to get this much reviews, I was expecting about two per chapter, or maybe less, but this … It makes me feel so loved! I LOVE YOU ALL! OMG, I'm so drunk …


	10. Illness and Libraries

The amount of reviews I got for the last chapter was AMAZING! I counted more than 30 people emailing or reviewing just for the sex scene alone! I feel so loved at the moment!

A/N: Just a warning I'm sick with the flu at the moment, and is now high on pain killers, nose drops and cough medicine, so don't expect me to make very much sense!

A/N2: There will be another sex scene in this chapter I'll do the same thing as I did for the last chapter, You'll have to ask me for the scene, the only reason I'm doing this is because these scenes are probably rated NC-17, and judging by my track record, I'm well overdue for my account to be disabled for something wrong with one of my stories. That used to happen to me all the time!

A/N3: Yay, I have a few at the moment! OK, AubreyElla and I are setting up a joint account on where we will be writing Harry Potter stories together! So if you want to check out the new account, our story is called: **_Trained Monkeys and Television madness._** I suggest you go read if you like this story, oh and **_don't forget to review!_**, our pen name is **_JennyandAubrey,_** but I'm also putting the link on my profile page if you want to check it out! We're both insane, so the profile is a bit wacky! Read anyway!

**_A/N4: 100 REVIEWS, I LOVE YOU GUYS!_**

* * *

**Chapter 10. Illness and Libraries**

**Day 5**

The next morning, at about seven in the morning, while all six teens were sleeping like babies, their wake up call arrived. At first no one woke up, but the consistent ringing finally woke someone up, and that someone was Pansy.

"What?" She snapped into the phone speaker.

"Errr … well, this is your wake up call," a man on the other end with a heavy French accent said.

"At seven bloody o'clock in the morning!" she shrieked.

"That's what the order was placed for, miss," the man, who was obviously terrified, told her.

"And who ordered this?" Pansy asked, in a dangerously calm voice.

"A Mr … Harry Potter, miss," the man said.

"Thank you," Pansy said, that man hung up, glad to be away from the demon woman herself.

Pansy took a deep breath,

"HARRY POTTER!" she screamed, effectively waking up Harry and everyone else in the room.

"What the fuck was that for?" Harry yelled at her from his own room.

"For ordering a fucking wake up call for seven in the fucking morning, that's what!" Pansy screeched back, from her room.

"IF YOU'RE GOING TO ARGUE, PLEASE DO IT IN ONE ROOM AND NOT IN TWO, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!" shouted a very pissed off Blaise.

"Fine!" Pansy yelled back, and she went into Harry's room, and dragged him into her room so they could finish their argument.

"THANK YOU!" Blaise shouted when Harry left.

"What was the meaning of waking us up?" Hermione asked them when Pansy and Harry entered the room.

"Harry's order, that's what!" Pansy informed her.

Hermione shrugged, not understanding what Pansy had just said.

"I tend to zone out when Pansy speaks in the morning," Draco told Hermione from his dark corner of the room.

"It doesn't do your brain any good."

"Thanks Draco," Hermione said, and then, to both Draco's and Hermione's annoyance, Harry had turned on the lights in their room.

"TURN OFF THE FUCKING LIGHTS IF YOU WANT CHILDREN!" Draco screamed from beneath the covers.

"Sorry," Harry muttered and turned off the lights.

"I've got bloody spots in my eyes now, thanks," Draco muttered sarcastically from his bed.

Ron snorted blissfully and turned over, something as petty as people screaming would not wake him from his dreams filled with chocolate and cakes.

* * *

It was noon when the teens woke up, completely ignoring the wake up call. As a punishment, Harry was sent to find a chemist somewhere to get some aspirin for the hangovers that everyone was bound to be suffering from, grumbling the whole way and back, Harry had a bag full of the tablets when he returned.

Everyone was lounging around the living area of the suite when Harry got back, well, they weren't really lounging they were more napping and moaning like zombies. Pansy was sitting on the couch in her dressing gown with her eyes closed and head hanging, Hermione was beside her, also in a dressing gown, head resting on Pansy's shoulder, Draco lay on the ground beside the couch the two girls were sitting on, he was actually asleep. Ron was on the armchair curled up in a ball, a huge feat for him, as he was about 6'3 in height, and Blaise was at the dining table, head rested on the cool surface.

"I have tablets!" Harry declared to the room, missing the hisses of pain when he shouted.

"Give me one!" Pansy demanded, while Harry, who took about four already, got the tablets and water ready for everyone else.

Pansy drowned hers down quickly and went back to napping on the sofa. Hermione moved to the bedroom after she took hers.

"Is it possible to OD on aspirin?" Draco asked from where he lay on the floor after taking his tablets, Ron and Blaise started to raid the fridge after taking theirs.

"Yes, I think so," Harry answered him.

"Ok, then."

"Why did you want to know?"

"'cause."

"Feeling better?" Harry asked in amusement, as Ron and Blaise started a fry up.

"Of course!" an overly cheerful Ron declared.

"I didn't drink nearly enough as the three girls did."

"Must you insist in calling me a girl!" Draco asked Ron impatiently.

"Judging by your get up last night, I'd have to say … yes," Ron answered.

"And what about you Blaise, you drank more than Pansy, and that's some feat!" Harry said.

"High tolerance of alcohol," Blaise informed him.

"I have a high tolerance of alcohol too!" Draco said from the ground.

"Sure you do, for a bloody lightweight," Blaise answered back.

"Are you staring on me, Mr. Stoner," Draco retorted.

"No, I'm just saying the truth is all."

"I drink more than Harry!"

"That's because Harry doesn't drink, you flamer, and anyway, you get drunk after two little shots, that makes you a lightweight," Blaise told Draco, who was still lying on the floor.

"I had more than two shots last night," Draco told him.

"Which explains why you were hitting on two women," Blaise told him.

"What!" Draco exclaimed.

"Yes, Carly and Carla were very disappointed when you threw up all over them," Blaise informed his blond friend with an evil grin.

"That explains why I had puke all down my dress this morning …"

"I really do not want to finish this conversation," Ron butted in from where he was frying Sausages and rashes. (Eugh! I'm a vegetarian myself, can't stand the smell of fry ups!)

* * *

After a huge breakfast of eggs, sausages, black pudding and rashers, what was left of the teens hangovers was gone. Then they proceeded to pack all their stuff into the cars as they were heading off to Bern in Switzerland, which would take more than one day to get there.

When everything was packed and the teens had checked out of the hotel, giving an extra large tip to the poor man who gave them their wake up call, Harry and Blaise, who were the only ones awake enough to drive were going through a map of Europe to find the best routes through France to Switzerland.

"Ok, a straight line from Paris to Bern is about 440km, that'll take about 7 hours or so," Harry said trying to understand what he was looking at in the map.

"Yeah, in a straight line, maybe, but we can't travel in a straight line," Blaise reasoned.

"That's 540km them, that's 9 hours, we can change every three hours so all six of us will get a chance to drive," Harry told all his friends, who groaned at the hours.

"This is going to be a long day," Pansy muttered to Draco, who nodded in return.

* * *

"So what are you two going to wear for the wedding?" Draco asked Ron and Harry, from the backseat, yet again.

"Erm … a tux?" Harry and Ron replied.

"Colour?"

"Black, I think," Harry answered, Ron nodded.

"Designer?"

"I'm not sure," Harry answered.

"And you call yourself a gay man," Draco scolded.

"Fine, what designer do you think I should get?"

"I think either Versace, Calvin Klein or Giorgio Armani would be the best choices, they're expensive, but very stylish," Draco informed Harry. The he turned to Ron,

"And Ron, you could do with a designer suite too, I'm thinking the Prada Spring 2006 range for you."

"He's like a walking catalogue, just go with it," Harry whispered to Ron, who was bewildered at all the designer labels Draco was suggesting.

"Maybe I should call Pansy and Hermione, find out what they're wearing," Draco though aloud, and before Harry and Ron could stop him, he was dialing their number on the loudspeaker.

The phone rang for a minute before Pansy picked up.

"Hello? Pansy's hotline, who's speaking?" Pansy asked in really cheerful receptionist style.

"Pansy, it's Draco."

"Hi, Draco! Why are you calling me, you never call me!"

"Yes I do, you just never answer!"

"You have never called me before, don't make up excuses."

"Whatever, anyway, the reason I'm calling is to ask yourself and Hermione what you're wearing for the wedding?"

"Oooh, fashion, Yay!"

"I know, but I'm in a car with two fashion rejects, they didn't know what designer they are going to get!"

"You're kidding."

"No I'm not, I'm serious, and they know nothing about clothes at all! I'm in a car full of fashion retards!"

"No need to be rude," Ron told him.

"Is that Ron?" Pansy asked.

"Yes," Ron answered.

"I love you Ronniekins!" Pansy shouted down the phone.

"Yeah, that's great, so what are you wearing?" Draco interrupted.

"A Roberto Cavalli dress, it's kind of coppery silver and is strapless, you'll see it on the day," Pansy answered.

"And Hermione?"

There was silence for a moment as Pansy asked Hermione what she was wearing.

"'Mione said that she's wearing a Blue Valentino dress with gold trimmings around the waist and shoulder."

"Nice, I'll call you later, ok?"

"Wait, what about you?"

"I haven't decided yet, when I do I'll tell you!"

"You better."

"Whatever, bye!"

"Bye."

A soft 'beep' meant that she had hung up. The car was silent for a bit afterwards, no one having anything to say that's interesting enough or could pass the time. Ron had taken out his cookbook again, and this time was flicking through the dessert sections and Draco was leaning forwards between the two front seats to fix his hair in the front mirror.

Harry could tell that he was in for a long drive that day.

* * *

An hour and a lot of CDs later, everyone in the Mercedes had nothing to do. A French music channel was on quietly and Hermione and Pansy, to their absolute horror, found them selves playing snap. Although, after half an hour of slapping each other on the hand, they decided that snap was a bit too violent for their liking and took out all the magazines that Pansy had brought with her. When Pansy found out that this trip would take about a week, so took drastic action and bough loads of magazines over the weeks and never read them so she'd have something to read. Smart girl.

"How long has it been?" A bored Pansy asked Blaise.

"Two hours, why?"

"How long till we get there?" Pansy moaned.

"Probably seven to eight hours."

"For fucks sake, this trip will never end!" Pansy sighed angrily.

"Well, you wanted to go on this trip," Blaise pointed out.

"Yeah, but I expected it to be all drugs, sex and Rock and Roll, not this shite!"

"Nothing is all drugs, sex and Rock and Roll, Pansy," Blaise told her.

"Well it should!" Pansy huffed.

* * *

"_There were 8,564 green bottles, standing on the wall_!" Draco sang.

"Draco stop, please!" Harry and Ron begged. The blond had started the song with 10,000 green bottles, and as I'm sure you know, that song is very annoying.

Draco smirked and continued, just to spite the two other boys in the car.

"_And if one green bottle should accidentally fall, there'll be 8,563 green bottles standing on the wall_."

"This is TORTURE!" Ron shouted.

"Hey, my singing is not that bad!" Draco defended.

"Look you stopped, HA!" Ron gloated.

"So I did, I'll have to start again now, won't I?" Draco asked grinning evilly.

"_There were 10,000 green bottles standing on the wall …_"

"Thanks Ron," Harry muttered.

"How was I supposed to know he'd start al over again!" Ron defended.

"_… And if one green bottle should accidentally fall, there'll be 9,999 green bottles standing on the wall …"_

* * *

After three hours of driving, it was time for a switch over; Hermione took the wheel in the Mercedes and Ron in the Saab. It was decided that Draco and Pansy should drive last, because then it'll be night and less police (Aubrey, it's Irish for police, I'm in complete Irish mode at the moment because my granny is over! Bloody fluent speakers …) will be around, so if they break any speed limits, they'll go unnoticed.

They had already gone through the river side towns of Fontainebleau and Troyes and were heading towards the city of Dijon, they were almost at their half point of the trip and it was late evening already.

An hour into the drive and Draco was still singing his bottle song.

"…_ and if one green bottle should accidentally fall, there'll be 5,234 green bottled standing on the wall …_"

""He's never going to stop, is he?" Ron asked, irritated.

"Nope," Harry said, shaking his head.

Suddenly, to both boys' relief, Draco had stopped singing, he stopped rather abruptly however, and both teens wondered why. They found out why soon enough when Draco threw up all over the car.

"Ron, pull over!" Harry shouted at his friend.

Ron turned onto the hard shoulder quickly, and Harry jumped out of the car and tried to get Draco out before he threw up all over the car again. As Draco sat by the road side, gasping, Harry surveyed the inside of the car. There was vomit everywhere, but luckily Draco brought a blanket for the back seat so he can have a sleep and most of the vomit landed on that. Harry sighed in relief; he didn't want his baby ruined by someone's puke! The car smelled quite rancid, but that's what air conditioning and spray is for.

Pansy, Hermione and Blaise must have seen their hazard lights as the pulled in next to them about five minutes later.

"What happened?" Hermione asked, standing beside Harry, who was still staring at the inside of the car in disgust. Hermione retched when she smelled the vomit and stepped back a bit.

"Maybe you should take that blanket out Harry," Hermione suggested, covering her nose and mouth with her jumper sleeve.

"I don't rally want to touch it," Harry confessed.

"Just take it up by the corners, and dump it, otherwise the smell will stay in the car."

That got Harry moving; he took up the corners quickly and practically flung the blanket out of the car and threw it as far as it would go. Then he turned on the air vents and sprayed the interior with liberal amounts of spray. The he turned to Draco, who was still trying to breathe after getting sick again in the bushes, aided by Pansy.

"Are you ok?" Harry asked his sick boyfriend.

"I think so," Draco said, still trying to even his breathing.

Harry could see that Draco was really pale and was shaking a bit. Filled with pity, Harry sat beside him and wrapped his arms around Draco in comfort.

"Did I ruin your car?" Draco asked Harry after a while.

"Well, not really, you threw up mostly on the blanket you insisted on bringing!" Harry told him brightly.

"Lucky I got my way, huh?" Draco said smiling.

"Yeah, do you want to continue driving to Bern or do you want to stop in the local town?" Harry asked.

"Well, I really do not feel like driving for another five hours, but I don't want our trip to be ruined because of me -"

"You haven't ruined the trip, it's not your fault you're sick," Harry interrupted.

"- Thanks, how about we just stop in the town for an hour or so, I might feel better after that," Draco continued.

"Ok, yeah, we'll do that," Harry assured.

"Thanks," Draco said, smiling weakly.

Harry told the other four teens the plan, and all agreed that it was the best thing to do; it would give them a chance to stretch their legs after the four hour trip as well as giving Draco a chance to recover. The town wasn't even a mile away, and it took the teens only about ten minutes to get to Dijon, where they parked the cars in a public car park. Draco was not better when they got to the city, so they went to a little café to let him rest and to get food.

Afterwards, Harry decided to take Draco to the doctor as he had thrown up again after eating a tiny piece of bread, so Pansy, Ron, Blaise and Hermione decided to spend some time in Dijon, the fashion capital of France. Pansy had dragged Ron to some boutiques, leaving Hermione and Blaise alone. They decided to enjoy this time to the fullest.

They walked down the boulevards holding hands and were content just looking at all the clothes in the windows, and not bothering to go into any of then shops. _Perhaps if we're still together in years to come, we can go here again, just the two of us_ Hermione thought. Unbeknownst to her, Blaise was thinking the exact same thing.

As they walked nearer to the city centre, there was less boutiques and more historical buildings and grocery stalls, and to Hermione's delight, the biggest library she had ever seen. Deciding that she had to read something with a little bit of intelligence Hermione had dragged Blaise into the huge building. Days of just reading magazines did that to her. The interior of the building was breathtaking, and the amount of books piled up on the shelves made Hermione's eyes water.

"Are you ok?" Blaise asked her, noticing how she seemed to stare into place.

"I'm more than ok!" Hermione told him, and with that she walked into the first corridor of books.

Blaise found the place to be quite spooky, with all the silence and architecture in the place, it felt like a haunted building to him. He kept close to Hermione, not wanting to be alone in that huge place, and he felt a presence in the building that scared him. Call it paranoia if you will, but Blaise just got that feeling. Hermione finally stopped at the heart of the library, where private cubicles were for people to read without anyone seeing them.

"What's up with those?" Blaise asked pointing towards the cubicles.

"They're for privacy, when you're in one of those people can't see you," Hermione told him.

"Really?" Blaise asked, and idea growing in his mind.

"Yes, really," Hermione said.

The next thing she knew, she was pressed up against one of the bookshelves, well more slammed, as Blaise kissed her ferociously. A little voice at the back of Hermione's mind was saying _I don't think this is a good idea_ but a louder voice was saying _Go with it girl!_ She took the advice of the louder voice, pushed herself away from the bookcase, and hastily led Blaise to one of those empty cubicles, hoping no one saw them.

Inside, they started kissing fiercely all over again. The cubicle was big enough for the two of them to move around easily enough. Hermione pushed Blaise on to the chair so he was sitting on it, then she straddled him and continued the kiss. The cubicle door rattled for a minute as someone tried to get in, luckily the lock was on.

"Someone's in here!" Hermione shouted, hoping her voice wasn't too squeaky.

The person left them alone again and Hermione and Blaise continued their heavy make out session. Blaise's hands went from her bottom to her breasts and continued to grope them as Hermione moaned silently; they had to be silent, as these cubicles weren't soundproof.

Blaise took his mouth from hers and started sucking on the skin just above her collarbone, as one hand left her breast and started to undo the shirt she was wearing. Hermione wasn't idle during this; she licked along his collar bone underneath his ear and ran her hands down his chest, feeling the muscles contract at her touch. She then ran her hands down further until she felt the hardness of his erection. She was surprised at first; a she never had any sexual experiences except for kissing and a little groping.

But she wanted this, she felt ready for this, Blaise must have sensed her hesitation because he had stopped his exploration of her now shirtless chest to look at her.

"What's wrong?" He whispered.

"Well … it's just …" Hermione didn't know what to say.

"Have you ever done this before?" Blaise asked her.

She shook her head in the negative.

"Do you want to do this with me?" Her whispered into her ear.

"Yes," She whispered back.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes," She said in a definite tone.

"I've never been more certain in my life."

**XXXSEXXXX (if you want the scene tell me!)**

Afterwards, they just lay there on the desk, both basking in the post-orgasmic feeling, until Blaise pulled out of her and with a kiss, started to get dressed again. Hermione followed his lead and started to put her own clothes on. When both were dressed, they unlocked the door and peeked out the door, no one was there. That was a relief. They took one look at the cubicle that now smelt of sweat and sex, and they couldn't help but grin at each other. They walked out of the library quickly, as if someone was following them. When they were outside, they made their way back to the café to meet up with their four friends.

They walked down holding hands again, both hoping that they looked a little bit presentable, it wouldn't do to walk around looking like you just got the shag of your life, even if you just did.

* * *

In the café Ron, Pansy, Harry and Draco were sitting in the same seat. Draco still looked as ill as before, and Hermione rushed over to his side to see if he was ok as soon as she had spotted him.

"Draco here has food poisoning," Harry told the group.

Both Pansy and Hermione smothered Draco in hugs when they heard that. Their baby was ill!

"From what?" Blaise asked.

"Ron's black pudding, nobody ate any except Draco," Harry explained.

"So you're saying it's my fault he's sick?" Ron asked.

"Well, it is kind of your fault Ron," Pansy pointed out.

"It's no ones fault, we just have to let him rest it off and give him these tablets every four hours," Harry said.

"And what about going to Bern?" Hermione asked.

"We can drive there, we'll just have to watch Draco, it'll be better if he's asleep," Harry answered.

Everyone nodded and proceeded to go back to their cars to drive to Bern. Harry carried the deathly pale Draco to he car, where he had put a new blanket down and lay Draco on it. Hermione and Pansy stayed with him as the boys were talking about a quicker route.

Draco tried to say something but it didn't come out at first. But after a few tries he managed to say,

"You had sex, Hermione"

* * *

Ok, here's the next chapter, yay I have beaten the Author's block!

You can get the sex scene by either reviewing or sending me an email, just make sure you give me your email address!

You will most defiantly get the scene, so review!


	11. Computer madness

Right, feel free to change and beautify the page!

Someone who will look over what has been done, and keep track of what's still to be done.

Translators into "readable" modern English (2 or so)

Designs. (Whoever wants to do this can) E.g. Cartoons, comic strips, layout of the pages, 'beautifying' the projects and anything else tat can go under this job.

Logo.

Extras. E.g. songs, puzzles, polls and anything else that could be seen as an 'extra'.

Adding up the surveys. I'll do this if you want … isn't the most exciting aspect o this project!

Alright for you? Add what you want, and if there's a problem with printing, send it to me and I'll print it out no problem!


	12. Into The Wild, Part 1

It's been a while since I've updated, my computer broke a week ago, and ever since I've been using the local library computer. And might I add, librarians can be damn right scary!

So I'm not going to dawdle any longer! On with the chapter!

_**This is basically a plotless chapter, I had nothing to go on, and so I just wrote this!**_

**And there is another Harry/Draco sex scene at the end of this, so like before, the scene has been taken out from the chapter. I'll email the scene to you; all you have to do is ask!**

**A/N:** Some of this chapter has been written by my good friend James! The sex scene is his as well, so if you're wondering why suddenly the chapter got very good, that would be James's doing!

**Chapter 11. Into The Wild, Part 1.  
****Night 5**

* * *

Travelling with a sick Malfoy was definitely not Ron Weasley's idea of fun. All it meant to Ron was spending five hours in a stuffy car with the heat turned right up and a hallucinating, vomiting blond in the back complaining about the fact that the deranged frogs were out to get him and ruin his hair. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, sounds like heaven, huh?

Even Harry was on his last thread, every fifteen minutes Draco would demand a glass of water, and it can't be just tap water, no, Evian was the demanded mineral, and finding Evian at midnight … and a clean glass... and ice...and occasionally a slice of lemon... and a serviette... Well, there was a lot of bluffing involved.

"Why did he have to get sick on the final stretch of our journey is beyond me," Ron grumbled from the driver's seat.

"He just likes making everyone else's life a misery, you know that," Harry replied.

"I tell you one thing, next time I feed him; I'll make sure to add the arsenic – we can pretend it's the lemon," Ron grumbled again, much to Harry's amusement. They had carried out a game of trying to convince Draco that various objects were his requested items. The Evian couldn't be faked - he actually knows the taste – but in his hallucinating state, they managed to turn some well folded toilet roll with a felt tip monogram, into a serviceable napkin without alerting his suspicions.

"I'll have to add that one to the book," Harry laughed and with that, he took out a book labelled 'best of: Ron Weasley quotes'.

"Do you still have that book?" Ron asked his best friend.

"I'll never give up this book, it's like my child." came his reply, as he cradled the book to his chest and rocked it.

"Alright, alright, just don't get all melodramatic on me, whatever you do. We already have one Draco-sodding-Malfoy!"

* * *

"Why is this taking so long?" Groaned Pansy from the passenger seat. Hermione decided that it was better she drove instead of Pansy, who was currently high on gas fumes. 

"We'll be there soon!" Answered Blaise for the one hundredth time and forty second time (What, you can't prove I didn't count them...).

"You said that an hour ago!"

"And I'll say it in another hour, now shut up, please."

"Why does Draco have to get sick? Bloody attention seeking bastard." Pansy was certainly supporting the 'Shove-him-in-the-boot' argument, judging by her comment.

"Pansy, Draco got food poisoning," replied the rather annoyed Hermione.

"So? He's very good at acting, he once got his parents to let him off school because his excuse was 'There's this disease going around the school, it's called coodies, it's dangerous, you can totally lose your sense of fashion, and your hairstyling talent'," Pansy said, mimicking Draco with a very false high pitched voice. "Of course, he managed to fool himself into believing that this was the real affect of cooties, and eventually was reduced to a gibbering heap on the floor. Of course, his parents had already said he could take the day off and left the room, but by the time they realised he was still there, he'd been on the floor for an hour mumbling about his hair."

"Oh yeah, I remember that! That was so funny," Blaise chimed in.

"You can't fake food poisoning, Pansy," the ever grounded Hermione said once more.

"He's gay, Hermione, he can fake anything."

"So? Harry's gay, and he can't fake a stomach ache, and, might I add, faking a stomach ache is really, really easy."

"Hermione, only posh people can't fake stomach aches."

"I'm really not going to ask, Pansy."

"It's true, Harry's really posh, so are you actually, and because of that neither of you can cheat nor fake illnesses. Draco and I on the other hand, we're snobs, not posh, so that means we can fake illnesses and cheat on tests. It's that simple, Hermione!"

"She's got a point there," Blaise pointed out.

"I can actually feel my brain turning to goo."

Pansy sniggered. "Oops! Wouldn't that be awful?"

* * *

"My hair is ruined!" wailed Draco, after his fourth time being sick on the side of the motorway. 

"It's not ruined," Harry said, trying to make Draco feel better.

"Don't look at it!" Draco shrieked when he caught Harry inspecting his hair.

"Fine, I won't," Harry quickly said, terrified.

"You should see yourself, Harry, you are so whipped!" Ron remarked form where he stood leaning on the car.

"And no more snide comments form you either!" Draco snapped at Ron.

"Yes Sir!" Ron said quickly, pulling off a perfect salute.

* * *

"Have you ever been horse riding, Hermione?" Pansy asked, after thirty minutes of trying to make conversation. 

"I don't like horses," Hermione mumbled back.

"You don't like horses! What sort of girl are you? Every person at least once in their lives wanted a horse!"

"Well, I didn't."

"I think you had a bad experience with a horse in a past life."

"That's interesting, Pansy."

"No I mean it! I bet you were one of those steeplechase riders who got killed or something."

"And I bet you were serving the Sultan of India grapes from a golden tree."

"You never know, Hermione, stranger things have happened."

"Sarcasm never gets by you, huh Pansy?"

"What?"

* * *

"I've decided I hate my nose," Declared Draco, who was feeling a bit better and was currently scrutinising said nose in a mirror. 

"Why?" Ron asked.

"Don't ask, Ron, I found that agreeing with him is much easier," Harry informed his friend.

"Ok, right. Yes, you're right, I think you need surgery," Ron said to Draco, not noticing Harry sighing and shaking his head.

"What? Are you calling me ugly?" A scandalised Draco asked, turning on Ron.

"Errr …" a bemused Ron answered.

"You are, aren't you? Well … at I'm not a spoon!" And with that, Draco sat back down in the car seat pouting, with a quivering lip.

"Draco, you're not ugly," Harry reasoned.

"Well, YOUR best friend just implied that I was," Draco said, looking at Harry with puppy dog eyes.

"He didn't mean it, he's an idiot, remember?"

Draco just 'Harrumphed' in reply.

'Right, plan B then' Thought Harry.

"I love you?"

"Don't give me that you," Draco shot back. Ron afterwards, would have sworn he felt a blood vessel burst from holding in the laughter. But he's a liar, so nobody would believe him.

* * *

The six teens felt very glad when they reached the final stretch of the journey. Bern was only 100km away and should only take them about an hour to reach. And not a moment too soon in Ron's mind after getting a rather irritated phone call from Pansy shouting at him about driving too fast or something. Even though she was high, it still didn't matter to Ron, that girl had one powerful voice at the best of times! 

So driving on the empty motorway at one in the morning, the teens felt a sense of achievement; they had almost completed their journey and would prove their parents wrong in the process! As they were all holding mental parades and singing Queens' classic: We are the Champions, to themselves, something happened that would ruin their good spirits.

"What's that sound?" a sleepy Harry asked Ron, who was looking at the dashboard of the car funny.

"I dunno, doesn't sound good, though!"

The next thing they knew, the car gave out completely, with a loud bang and a pathetic stutter from the car.

"Crap!" Both Harry and Ron exclaimed. Life had been so generous until then.

"Quiet, I need my beauty sleep!" a disturbed Draco said, annoyed at being woken up.

"Wake up, Blondie, we need you to help us roll the car onto the side," Ron shouted, wanting to get the dead car out of the way form any trucks about to squash the car.

"You want me to move what, where?" the blonde asked in disbelief.

"Oh, forget it; look there's Pansy, Blaise and Hermione … Why have they stopped too?" Ron said, after noticing the Mercedes a few metres up.

"Harry, Ron, Draco, thank goodness you're here, we have a problem!" Hermione said, running up to the three boys when she noticed them.

"We have a problem too," Harry told her.

"The car has died."

"This is a bit of a problem, we have absolutely no petrol left in that car, what are we going to do?" an almost hysterical Hermione asked.

"I know there's an emergency telephone about 2km back … it's too late to call a pick-up now, though," Ron reasoned.

"We can ring in the morning I'm sure. We'll just have to camp here until then," Hermione thought aloud.

"Good idea, get Blaise and tell him to help us move the car, seeing as Draco here won't," Ron said.

"You make me sound like the bad guy," Draco muttered.

* * *

"Ok, it's official, we're stranded," Blaise declared, much to the dismay of his friends. 

"Stranded! I can't be stranded, I'm too pretty!" said Draco, who was taking the news rather badly.

"Calm down, nothing will happen to you," Hermione said, trying to comfort the near-hyperventilating blond.

"We're in the woods Hermione; of course something's going to happen!" Pansy retorted.

"Quiet, I'm trying to make Draco feel better!" Hermione hissed at Pansy.

Realisation dawned on Pansy, "oh! Well the, nothing will happen to you at all Draco." Hermione shook her head after receiving an obvious wink from Pansy. God, that girl could be so dim sometimes.

"Hermione, we'll be eaten! There are wolves and bears and other evil animals out there just waiting to get me, I can feel it!" Draco said, holding on to Hermione, as if he was a scared toddler at a circus.

"There are?" Pansy answered, looking at the trees around her.

"Yes, I heard that if you go into the woods at night, you'll get eaten by vampire sheep, and then you'll be made to have a picnic with evil vampire bears!" Draco cried, clutching onto Hermione so hard that she felt something crack.

Hermione almost succeeded in prying Draco's arms from her, when an equally scared Pansy launched herself at Hermione. Sighing, Hermione gave up and proceeded to pat both of her terrified friends on the head.

"It's going to be a long night," Hermione muttered, when a twig snapped causing both Pansy and Draco to scream, and hold on to her even tighter.

* * *

The six teens spent most of the next hour unloading blankets and anything else that could be used for bedding from the car. Well, four really, as all Draco and Pansy were good at doing was scaring away any wildlife with their horrific banshee shrieks. 

In the end, it was Pansy and Draco that were scaring each other scaring them the most, because they kept feeding each other really far-fetched stories about what happens to rich and pretty people in the woods.

"And then, when you least expect it, it leaps out!" Draco said dramatically to a scared Pansy, who was cuddling up to a random blanket.

"What happens next?" Pansy asked quickly, as if the story would keep her alive.

"Next, they kind of walk real slowly towards you, making evil hissing noises and frothing at the mouth, when you see that, you know you're in trouble. Because once they find their prey, they'll never stop until they've got you. There's no hope for you after that!"

"Can you get away from them?"

"No one has ever escaped from them before, except for one person, who made it her life's purpose to tell this story to anyone who was about to go camping."

"And who was that?"

"Some really weird person, who lived in the local village, some say she was a witch because she used to capture cats and torture them, others say that she was just lonely – and I'm sure that would perfectly explain any cat torture. They called her... 'The Figg'. I don't know which is true, but all I know is, is that she died in a mental institute, legend says she went crazy because she was hunted by them for the rest of her life."

"Really, wow."

"And ever since her death, her spirit would follow any young, rich and unbelievably sexy travellers. But her sprit is out for revenge, revenge that no one ever listened to her story and in her hatred for those people in the past, she has dedicated her afterlife to haunting anyone who goes near woods."

"And, how can we stop her?"

"We can't, once she has you picked as a victim, you can only hope you'll make it to sun rise. She will lead them to you once she has you picked, and then you will have a cursed life. Because even if you survive the night, you'll become like her and be haunted by them or all eternity, until your death in a mental hospital!"

Just then Ron and Harry dropped a suitcase, which made an echoing bang that resembled a ghostly scream to Pansy and Draco. And, as it is Pansy and Draco, caused both to scream as loud as they could and hold on to each other for dear life.

"She's going to get us Draco!" Shrieked Pansy.

"I know!"

And with that, they both let out another high pitched scream and both ran to their boyfriends for protection.

Hermione looked on in amusement, as both Harry and Ron were literally attacked by their screaming partners. Both had such vivid imaginations, but seriously, abatty woman and a herd of cows would never do that to someone.

* * *

"Alright guys, there's enough bedding for three beds. So, we'll have to share with our respective boyfriends and girlfriends." 

"Yay!" Draco leaped into Harry's arms, knocking both of them over.

"Duhh..." Harry had gone cross-eyed, and was currently wondering about the pretty twinkly birds spinning around his head. Wouldn't they be quiet? He had a headache, you know!

Draco rolled off him, and grabbed a few pillows and a blanket.

Harry groaned. "Oww! Couldn't you have got the pillows down before cracking my head onto the floor?"

"But that would have flattened them... you can't sleep on flat pillows." Whined Draco.

Harry grumbled at Draco, whose face suddenly turned into the adorable puppy-dog eyed version, with a quivering lip to boot. "Don't hate me!" Wailed Draco, tears streaking down his face.

"What? I don't -"

"Yes you do, because I hurt your head! I'm sorry Harry, I'm sorry!" By this point, Draco was wailing on Harry's shoulder. Harry himself resembled a deer in the headlights by now, totally shocked about the whole occurrence.

'_You made Draco cry..._' The annoying voice that was loosely termed as his conscience, declared.

_'I didn't mean to...' _He replied.

'_And now you're having conversations with yourself. Could you get any worse?_' He had to admit, the voice had him there.

"Please! Harry, tell me you don't hate me, please!" Draco was still sobbing brokenly on Harry's shoulder.

"C'mon, shush, it's alright, I don't hate you." Harry rocked his lover back and forth.

The sobs dried up a little and Draco's puffy eyed face slowly turned to look at.

"Really?"

Harry kissed Draco on the nose. "Really, I couldn't hate you; I love you too much,"

"YEY!" Squealed Draco, promptly jumping on Harry again.

"Thank god the pillows were there this time..." Ron remarked to himself, watching the two lovebirds' antics, who had now declared that they were going to bed for a very short amount of time, and that the No, Pansy, You Can't Take Photos rule was in affect.

"Snuggle into me, Harry; I'm feeling a bit cold..."

Harry did exactly that, all the while delicately undoing the buttons of Draco's Armani shirt. When his lover's flawless torso was revealed to him, he spent time worshipping and ravishing it. He moved around his chest; with his lip's never leaving Draco's skin, a suck on this nipple, and a gentle bite on the other one. Draco responded wonderfully to his touch, keening and pressing his chest at Harry's mouth.

"Hmm, you liked that, didn't you? Well you'll like this then," said Harry, scraping his fingernail over the left nipple, while licking the right.

Harry let his hand wander lower, rubbing Draco's Levi-Jean-clad erection. Draco gasped, and pushing his crotch against Harry's hand, let out a gentle whine.

"Harry..."

**/ Smut! If you want the scene, tell me/**

**

* * *

**

Ok, I'm really, really, REALLY sorry about such the long wait for this update! I can remember a time when I would update veryday ... those were the days.

Anyway, as you can see, the chapter ends with the smut, so like all those tmes before, if you want the scene, review or email me and i'll send it to you!


	13. Into The Wild, Part 2

Ok, I'm back everyone!

My computer has been totally wiped clean of any viruses and other faulty programmes, and although that is a good thing, everything else is one too, including my internet and my Sims2 games!

But, because I'm resourceful (If slightly spoilt), I now have my own laptop on which I can write all I want without anyone else reading! I love passwords!

Well, since I've kept you so long for this chapter I'm not going to keep you ant longer, so …

On with the story!

* * *

**Chapter 12. Into the Wild, part 2.**

"Let's sing camp songs!" a very cheerful Pansy suggested to Hermione, the only one still awake.

"Let's not sing camp songs," Hermione answered groggily, she was really tired and all she wanted to do was sleep, but because it was her responsibility to take care of Pansy for the next two hours, she couldn't.

God, she couldn't wait until those damn two hours had passed!

Pansy got like this sometimes, when she is both scared and sleep deprived, she will act stoned or drunk, which are basically the same anyway. This was one of these times, and even though it was obvious Pansy was tired, she just would not sleep.

"Ever wonder about life, Hermione?" Pansy asked, looking at the moon which was visible through the tree tops.

"Not particularly," a very grumpy Hermione said.

"Me neither … hey! We're like twins!"

"I can so see the connection," Hermione said sarcastically.

"I know! It's freaky!"

Hermione didn't bother to reply, when Pansy was in this state, it was best just to ignore her completely.

"Let's sing camp songs!" Pansy suggested again.

Hermione was about to protest but before her mouth even opened; Pansy started singing on the top of her voice, much to the horror of Hermione and the local wildlife.

"I'm dreaming of a whittttttteeeee Chrisssssssstmassssssssss!" Pansy crooned.

Hermione sighed. Only Pansy would have believed White Christmas to be a camp song - not even Draco. But then again, he is the master of camp.

Hermione could have sworn she heard the glass on the car doors crack.

"Jusssssssssssst Like the ooooooooooooone I used to knowwwwwwwww!"

"Oh, my, GOD! Who's killing that poor cat?" Blaise roared from where he was sleeping on the floor.

The other three sleeping boys were jolted awake by the combined noise of Pansy screeching and Blaise trying to shout over the screeching

"Shut up!" Protested the three boys and promptly went back asleep again.

Only to be waken a minute later with Pansy screeching ….

"A BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG!"

"OMG, and they think I'm bad?" Draco muttered rolling his eyes. "Harry, I'm cold, give me your blanket …"

"No, get your own blanket!" a very grumpy Harry snapped.

"You're so mean to me! You know that?" Draco declared dramatically while getting up out of their makeshift bed.

Harry only grumbled darkly in reply.

"Mean …"

"DRACOOOOOOO!" Pansy said when she saw her bestest friend come over to her.

"PANSSSSSSY!" Draco shouted right back and then threw himself at her in a bear hug.

"Crushing … bones," Pansy spluttered from the unusual strength coming from Draco's hug, causing a few bones to crack.

"Oh, get off her," Hermione said, trying to get Draco's grip of death off Pansy, who was now purple from the strength of the hug.

"Where did that come from?" Pansy gasped after Draco's arm was finally pried from around her neck.

Draco just shrugged and proceeded to take out a hand mirror to fix his hair.

"You're such a man, Draco!" Pansy laughed, rubbing Draco's head causing his newly fixed hair to form a funny kind of afro.

Draco just turned and looked at her, shock clearly shown in his expression.

"Oh no you didn't …" Draco challenged.

Pansy just laughed and skipped off to the camp fire where she then started skipping around it.

"Bitch …" Draco muttered, and then started brushing his hair all over again.

* * *

An hour later all six teens were up. It was physically impossible to sleep when Pansy is wide awake, especially when she kept shoving leaves down their pants and sticking their fingers into warm water. Ron almost had a rather unfortunate accident because of that; at least he was able to laugh it off. Barely, mind you.

So now all six of them were crowed around the dying fire, which was soon to go out. Which led to a dilemma, it was Pansy and Draco's turn to collect twigs and sticks for the fire.

"Are you sure you don't want Harry and I to go instead?" Blaise asked for the seventh time as Pansy and Draco prepared to go for the wood, bringing with them what looked like a small shop between them.

"Nah, we're good," answered Pansy cheerfully.

"Are you certain? Because there'll be animals and insects in there and it'll be very dark and the floor will be slimy," Harry said, more to Draco then Pansy, he knew Draco's fears, and if Draco decided not to go then Pansy will follow his example and not go either.

"Yes! I was in the scouts when I was younger, and Draco here once camped out for a whole week!" Pansy retorted while Draco nodded in agreement behind her.

Everyone else knew the Pansy's 'scouts' was really a group of girls who spent all the 'camping' trips toasting marshmallows from the fire in Pansy's living room while gossiping about who was going out with who.

Draco … well, chances were, the 'week camping' was really spent in a top-of-the-range cabin/resort. It was hard enough to even imagine Lucius and Narcissa camping in the wilderness, let alone Draco.

"Fine you can go, but don't blame us if you fall into some mud and ruin your hair …" Blaise said, still trying to scare the two out of it.

"Luckily we'll have all our products with us in case that happens; it's the scouts' code you know, to always come prepared!" Pansy said, still bringing up her nonexistent scout training.

The rest of the teens eyed up Draco's and Pansy's luggage … which was literally bulging at the seams from all the items crammed into them. Prepared was not the word for it …

"Bye!" and with that, the two friends headed towards the woods.

"I bet a tenner that they'll last ten minutes," Blaise said, throwing in a ten euro note into the circle made by the remaining teens.

"Blaise, don't go betting on your friends!" Hermione scolded scandalized.

"Ten euro, they only last five," Ron said throwing in the money.

"Well … since they are 'prepared', I'll give them three minutes!" Harry laughed, as his tenner joined the other two into a pile.

Hermione frowned and folded her arms as she made annoyed noises.

"Oh, lighten up 'Mione! It's only a friendly wager made on behalf of, but unbeknownst to, our pair of intellectually challenged blondes!" Ron said, laughing.

Harry and Blaise tried to muffle their laughter at the lanky red-heads comment.

"Oh yes laugh at their expense … some boyfriends you are," Hermione said, with the eye of shame doing its job as both Harry and Ron had the decency to look shameful.

"Wonder how they're doing?" Blaise asked, looking totally unabashed.

Both Harry and Ron turned around to whisper the same thing in each other's ear; "How come only Blaise can fight off the eye of shame...?"

Of course, since they both span around at the same time, they both ended up headbutting each other in the nose, much to Blaise and Hermione's amusement. All three boys glared at her when she laughed. She shut up quickly, scowling to disguise her blush.

"Honestly, at least we tried to cover it up!" Grumbled Harry.

* * *

"Pansy we've passed this rock four times already! Where are we?" Draco asked, after noticing said rock, which very closely resembled the male genitalia.

"I dunno … I think I was holding the map upside down …" Pansy said, after realizing her mistake. Luckily no one was here to see her make a fool o herself!

"Right, we have to take a right, a left, a right again, another right and … ohhh, 37 degrees to the left! Not 32 degrees! Come on Draco we're almost back at camp … and stop staring at the rock!" Pansy concluded. Shaking her head as Draco giggled uncontrollably at the rather 'interesting' shape of the rock.

"Oh, mother nature can be such a perv!" Draco told Pansy as they started to walk in the right direction.

The two friends followed Pansy's new route, hopefully this time they'll get out of the woods. As the walked in what they thought was the right direction, they both started picking up random sticks for the fire wood, it'll give the impression that they actually did some work while they were gone, instead of swapping the latest gossip about Hermione and Blaise's relationship.

"Ok, its official … we're lost," Draco said, after finding himself in a field with a few sheep looking at him oddly.

"Pansy?" He asked, looking around, no Pansy.

"Great, I'm lost and I've lost my bitch too! What else can happen?"

As if on cue, a bird squawked and _Plop_ a huge lump of white poo landed on Draco's €500 pair of Prada shoes.

"This is payback for the time I went without washing my hair for two days, isn't it!' Draco screamed to the sky.

"Oh great God of fashion! Why do you punish me so! Is it for ripping that Gucci coat? Because that was totally an accident! I'll replace it! I promise!"

"And I'll never buy sale items again if it makes you happy! Off the High Street all the way! Sale will never be uttered within my house ever again! Just get me out of here!"

Suddenly a crack of thunder sounded and then the downpour started.

"YOU'RE JUST DOING THIS FOR KICKS AREN'T YOU!" Draco screamed, in hysterics that his hair was getting ruined, as he ran back towards the woods for shelter.

* * *

Back at the campsite, Pansy stepped into the clearing with an air of accomplishment radiating from her, despite the rain.

"I'm back! And I have fire wood!" Pansy declared as she threw her small pile of wood at Hermione, who was caught off guard and thrown backwards as the sticks hit her.

"Errr … great job … where's Draco?" Harry asked looking around for his boyfriend, as if he came out from the woods another way.

"Erm … Draco? Where are you? Draco? DRACO? WHERE ARE YOU, YOU WHORE? Damn it, I knew I'd forgotten something!" Pansy shrieked, scaring a few nearby birds from the trees.

"Pansy, shouting will not find him, we need to think up a plan," Hermione reasoned, yet again.

"DRACO! GET YOU GAY ARSE OVER HERE!" Pansy screamed, completely disregarding Hermione's words.

"IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO DRAG YOUR DEAD BODY ALL THE WAY TO VENICE, YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING! IF YOU'RE AT THAT ROCK AGAIN …" Pansy warned.

While Pansy was scaring away all the local wildlife with her screeching voice, the other four teens sat around the dwindling campfire, thinking up plans about what to do about finding the blond.

"I've got it! Ok, we dig a hole, and then we'll put … caviar into it and then we'll conceal the hole with leaves, so when Barbie smells the caviar, she'll go in search of it and voila! We'll have her trapped in the hole!" Ron suggested.

Everyone else just stared at him for a few seconds.

"Any real suggestions?" Hermione asked.

"I'M SO STEALING YOUR GHD IF YOU DON'T COME BACK!"

"Well the only thing we can really do is go into the woods and search for him." A surprisingly calm Harry said, after all, he was well _used_ to loosing Draco at this point.The thing is, it happens a lot...

"Trust Draco to get lost, what's the bets that when we find him, he'll have been eaten by a cow or something," Blaise laughed.

"YOU SKANKY BITCH! HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME WITH THESE FASHOIN REJECTS!"

"Well Pansy is certainly helping …" Harry commented, much to the amusement of the other three teens.

They all just watched Pansy hollering on the top of her voice, and sniggered at the obscenities she was using in the hope to find Draco.

"Right we'll go search in twos … erm … we'll leave Pansy here, she can continue shouting or something … scare away the wolves anyhow!" Blaise said to Harry, Ron and Hermione, all of whom nodded their heads in agreement.

"THAT'S IT DRACO! I'M NOW USING DRASTIC MEASURES … MIRROR IS ABOUT TO BE SMASHED …!"

* * *

_Oh my God, I can't believe this! Where am I, what's that, shit, what the fuck is that … they're after me, I know it! I can sense their presence … watching … watching …Oh my God, did you hear that? Ok, officially scared right now … oh, why did this happen to me? Why? I'm a good boy! I brush my teeth everyday and I never smell! Why me! It's because I'm rich isn't it? Well it's not my fault that I'm just so damn lucky in life! It's no my fault I have such lovely natural blond hair … unlike Pansy … It's not my fault I'm just so gorgeous and so devilishly handsome, and that I have cheekbones to die for! Not my fault I tell you, NOT MY FAULT!_

At this point a truly paranoid Draco Malfoy was seriously scared and was hallucinating slightly … maybe he shouldn't have eaten those mushrooms earlier … anyway, now all he wanted to do was to got to his house, or hotel and just curl up in his master king sized bed and just sleep! And be safe, although knowing Lucius's hotels … which reminded Draco of something, there hadn't been any murders, suicides, mafia gang killings, fires, floods, kitchen staff being drowned in beans, clogged toilets or rapes in a week … quite the record … and to think … these made his family rich … what a screwed up world we all live in!

_Oh my god! WHAT WAS THAT? I definitely heard something in that bush … it's them! They're going to eat me! Don't eat me; I'm too pretty to die in the woods all alone! Too pretty I tell you, TOO PRETTY! AHHHH! I heard that! Crap! They're after me aren't they? Shit, I think I just saw something … that noise again! It's coming closer, closer! Oh my God what am I going to do? I have nothing to defend myself against them! And I am so not fighting with my hands, I just got my nails manicured and I so don't want o ruin them! AHHHHH! I heard a snap! Crap, they're literally on top of me! The only time when that necessarily bad … but still! I don't wanna die! I don't! I have a whole life to lead before I die as a drunken stoner with seven gigolos in the Jacuzzi with me! Not this way, please not this way! _

Draco then let out a very girlish scream when the bushes right beside him started rustling and a sound, kind of like a vicious animal, could be heard snorting and growling in it's determination to get Draco … who was practically peeing himself at this stage.

Just as Draco finally got his wits about him and was about to run, the cruel, vicious creature crashed it's way through the bushed and with an almighty roar lunged itself at Draco.

Draco, being Draco, stood stock still and screamed a really high pitched, loud scream of the century.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the creature screamed back.

"Don't kill me!" Pleaded Draco.

"Draco!"

"How do you know my name? Are you my stalker! Please, please don't hurt me or ruin my hair! It took too long to make it this perfect!" He broke down sobbing. "The rain ruined it already, and now, as soon as I fixed it, you turn up and you're gonna make it all bad again..." he wailed into his hands.

"Draco. DRACO! It's me, Ron!" the Laughing red head said.

"Ro – RON?" he leapt towards the redhead and clung on for dear life. "Thank god... I had a stalker just then... you scared him away for me!"

Ron looked utterly terrified, attempting to peel Draco's hands from his jumper, to no avail. Then he came up with the one stroke of genius, the one cunning plan that would normally never be associated with him. He whispered into Draco's ear "You are touching a jumper that only cost three pounds, and has been worn constantly for the last three days..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Draco leapt backwards; shaking his hands as if to dislodge the cooties that he was convinced had been left behind. When he realized this wasn't working, he tried to rub the cooties off onto Ron's jumper, before realizing that that would presumably make the situation a great deal worse.

Draco fainted – only regaining consciousness when Ron dripped some water on his face. Well, actually, that didn't work – it was dripping water into his hair that did it, because Draco has a sixth sense about hair...

"Harry! We're over here!" Ron called after he heard Harry shout out his name.

Harry clambered through the bushes, catching his foot on the way and falling flat on his face into the dirt. Upon seeing Draco safe and sound, he suddenly jumped up and gave Draco a big wet, muddy hug … much to Draco's disgust.

"Get off me you dirty pillock! I'm fine!" Draco said, trying to get Harry off him, which proved hard as Harry seemed to be glued to Draco.

"Don't do that ever again, ok? I was so worried about you!" an overdramatic Harry exclaimed.

"Really?"

"Yea, I thought you'd have been eaten or something!"

"Awww, that's so nice, thanks for caring so much about me."

"I do care about you, even if I don't show it sometimes … I'd be no one without you, you know that?"

"No, you always act like you don't care about me, with the way you joke about me and make fun of me and everything …"

"I do care, and I cared a lot while you were missing!"

"It's true, mate, he was worried for a bit when we were looking for you," Ron said.

Draco never replied, instead he brought Harry's mouth down to his and kissed Harry soundly on the lips. Ron felt very awkward at the moment, and turned around as the couples kiss got more passionate.

"That's to say thanks!" Draco said, breaking the kiss.

"That's what I'm here for, to rescue damsels in distress!"

"Are you calling me a damsel?"

* * *

When Ron and Harry brought Draco back to their campsite, they found Hermione, Blaise and a sleeping Pansy waiting for them. Well, more really along the lines of Hermione and Blaise making out while dry humping each other and Pansy going through everyone's' stuff.

"We're back," Ron said as they entered the clearing.

Hermione only waved a hand in their general direction and continued to stick her tongue down Blaise's throat.

"Draco, Draco! You're back!" Pansy said running towards Draco.

"You left me Pansy! All alone in the woods too with all those bugs and animals and other icky creepy-crawlies! It was … horrifying …" Draco said, ending dramatically with a theatrical sigh.

"I'm sorry Dra- IS THAT A BUG IN YOUR HAIR!"

Both Pansy and Draco froze … then both burst out screaming with Draco trying to get the 'bug' out of his hair with the frenzied help of Pansy. The other four teens brought out the popcorn (which they all kept a bag of in their pocket, for situations like this) as they watched their two friends struggle.

After ten minutes of screaming and panic, which left Draco with a afro all over again, the 'bug' was totally eradicated from Draco's hair. Draco then rushed to the car so he fix his hair all over again. Pansy following shouting at any other bugs that were planning to land on their heads.

"Well … that was interesting!" Ron commented from where he lay sprawled on the ground.

Half an hour later, all six teens were sitting on fallen down trees around the fire. The woods around them were pitch black as it was well past midnight at this point, and the only source of light was from the fire and the camp lamps put up around the campsite.

"I'm bored!" declared Blaise after a very long, awkward silence.

"Me too," Pansy agreed, who was slouched forward so much she had to keep stopping herself from falling off the log.

"Well any suggestions as to what we can do?" Ron, who was still lying on the ground, said.

"I have alcohol?" Blaise suggested.

Pansy's posture suddenly improved as she sat upright straight as a arrow at the mention of the 'A' word.

"Oooh, ok!" Pansy said. Poking Draco in the stomach as she did so, causing him to jump out of his very uncomfortable looking position draped backwards over a log.

"Feck off …" Draco muttered. (Beta Note: Because we all know Draco speaks with an Irish accent when he's tired, got fluffy hair, in the middle of a forest, and still a bit muddy... What? You can't prove he doesn't...)

(Author's note in reply: he has Irish roots, because let's face it, were the looks in this world!)

"Alcohol Draco!" Pansy said.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I wouldn't have got into this comfortable position if I knew I had to get out of it!" Draco said as he very haphazardly tried to slide off the log, only to cause his back to crack in a very sickly fashion.

"Ok, that sounded serious," Hermione commented.

"Eh … nothing a long walk won't cure," Draco said, massaging his back with a wince.

"I'm back!" Blaise declared with two six packs of larger and three bottles of vodka.

"And not a minute sooner!" Draco said, and with that he grabbed the nearest bottle of vodka, opening the cap and chugging half of it down. Much to everyone else's shock and Hermione's disapproval.

"Good stuff …" Draco giggled, a slur already becoming obvious in his voice.

"Give me some!" Pansy demanded, wrestling the bottle from Draco's hand and taking a large gulp.

"Well, everyone, dig in!" Blaise said, while opening a can of larger.

"Wait, wait! Better idea! How about a game of 'I never'?" Pansy suggested.

The other teen's eyes lit up at the mention of their favorite drinking game … this was sure to be interesting.

* * *

Five minutes later, the six friends were sitting on the ground in a circle with the cans of larger and what remained of the vodka in the middle and all six ad their own shot glass in front of them, which was filled with either of the alcoholic drinks.

"Right, we all know how to play, but just in case one of you has forgotten but is too chicken to say anything, I'll go over it again. Who ever's turn it is says something that they've never done and if anyone else in the circle has done it, then they drink their shot. Gettid?" Pansy explained.

And with everyone's nods, the game began.

"Ok, I'll start," Pansy said.

"Something easy to start with. I've never … cooked my own meal."

Everyone drank their shots, except for Draco and Pansy.

"Ok, that was tame … even by Hermione's standards," Draco said.

"Hey!" Hermione said, poking him in the shoulder … hard.

"Bitch."

"Harry, go, you're next!" Pansy said.

"Right … I've never watched porn in my grandparent's house," Harry said sheepishly, as he drank to his own 'I never'.

Everyone else just stared at Harry before bursting out laughing. Harry was a real perv at heart.

"That was … interesting, Harry … Ron your go." Pansy, who obviously self appointed herself as game leader, said.

"I never had a three-way snog," Ron said thoughtfully.

"Does it count if one part was a friend?" Pansy asked.

"Yes, I assume that's allowed!" Ron said.

And with that, Both Draco and Pansy drunk to that one, ah, the memories!

"You snogged Draco, Pansy?" Ron asked.

"Um … yeah … and Lisa," Pansy said.

"So you're saying that you snogged Lisa the slut and Draco the flamer?"

"Eh … we were drunk," was Pansy's only defense. "Hermione, your go."

"I never … slept with a school teacher to pass an exam."

Everyone looked at Hermione suspiciously, that was such a non-Hermione thing to suggest. Luckily she didn't take a drink. Although when only Draco drowned down his drink, no one was surprised.

"What? It was an important exam!" Draco defended at the amused looks everyone was giving him.

"Who was it?" Pansy asked.

"I don't think Dra-." Hermione began.

"Mr. Everston," Draco said, cutting off Hermione.

"That explains how you're passing English," Pansy said, pretending to act all 'motherly' as she sat there tutting and shaking her head.

"It was a year ago! Let go Pansy!"

"Hmmm … sure. Alright, your go, Blaise!" Pansy said, laughing at Draco, who was on the receiving end of a patented Hermione-I-can't-believe-you-did -that-you-bitch-death-glare.

"I never … gave a man over the age of forty a blow job."

Pansy was the only one who drunk to that. Everyone else was looking a bit sick at even thinking about it.

"Hehe, Draco, you big slut you, your go."

"Right … I've never got caught watching porn when staying over in my aunt's house." Draco said, with a smile.

Both Harry and Ron drank up. Both grumbling as they did so, Draco knew that little detail about them and he was now using it as a way to get drunk. So now both Ron and Harry decided that if Draco is going to try and embarrass them, they'll do the same to Draco, and hopefully get him pissed drunk in the process!

"YAY! My turn!" Pansy said happily.

"I never …….

* * *

And so the game went on with the 'I never's revealing more about the teens than what the others though they knew about them. It also meant that after a good hour of the game everyone was well and truly drunk, even Hermione, which is surprising to say the least.

Pansy and Draco were in the middle of doing Hermione's hair which was looking less like her usual bush and more like a perm/afro/bird's nest. It was meant to be a Miss Universe do.

"How do I look?" Hermione asked after they were done with her hair.

Everyone else just stared Dunkley back at her until Ron announced:

"That's your hair! I thought it was a rabid squirrel trying to eat your hair."

"Thanks Ron," Hermione said. Pansy and Draco were too busy tying to stop their laughter behind her to defend against Ron's obvious blow to their hairdressing skills.

"Oooh! Do Draco next!" Harry shouted at Pansy and Hermione, who then shared a evil grin.

"Will we do your hair, Draco?" Pansy asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Erm … ok, just don't hurt me."

And with that both Hermione and Pansy pulled him down quite hard onto the log, both eager to get their hands on Draco's forbidden locks.

"OWWW! I said don't hurt me!" screeched Draco as the hair brush was dragged down his neck painfully.

"Sorry about that!" Pansy said with a grin.

"I don't even have hair there! … Bitch … OWWWW!"

"Ooopise!"

"So, Draco, how's life?" asked Hermione innocently after ten minute of hair pulling, rough brushing and a rather painful 'quick going-over'.

"Eh … can't complain … although at the moment it feels like there's a monkey or something running around my scalp, what IS that Pansy?" asked Draco, worriedly.

Pansy, who was currently weaving random pieces of twigs and sticks into Draco's hair, only replied:

"A new form of scalp massages … good?"

"I'll show you good …" Draco muttered despite the fact that actually, even he didn't know what he meant by that!

After another fifteen minutes of fiddling, scratching, ripping, pulling, tickling, 'massaging', brushing, foraging fumbling, clawing and any other word that can be used to describe a drunk Pansy and Hermione's hairdressing techniques, Draco was 'finished'.

"I look like a reindeer …" Draco said, shocked when he looked at his new style in the mirror.

Pansy and Hermione burst out laughing, it was true what Draco said; he looked like a deer. There was random twigs and sticks sticking out of his hair, which was sticking up ad really odd angles. He looked like some random mad guy who goes fro daily runs through the forests naked and never bothers to brush his hair afterwards.

"Better be careful, Draco! Some hunter will shoot you and stick your head up over the fireplace," Blaise shouted, while the other four teens were hiding their laughter behind their hands.

"You people are so MEAN!" Draco said, closely followed by the legendary 'lip-twitch'. Myths say, that Draco's lip-twitch symbolizes oncoming tantrums... well, okay, they don't but admit it! It sounded cool!

"Awww … Draco it's not that bad!" Harry said trying not to laugh as Draco tried to wrestle the sticks out of his hair, only to have the hair ripped out as well.

"What did you use to keep these on!" Draco demanded, rounding on Hermione and Pansy with pure murderous rage in his eyes.

"This, hair gel," Pansy said handing Draco the bottle.

Draco swayed a moment while his eyes tried to focus in the label on the bottle. It looked like 'Style-glue' which was the hair gel brand name, but after ten minutes of focusing the label revealed that it didn't stay 'Style-glue' instead it said:

"SUPER GLUE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (And many more O's, but that would have been cheating to fill more lines... just guess around a couple of pages full...)

And with that, Draco burst out into tears while in a state of psychotic shock, screaming and cursing everyone and everything on the planet, especially that smart person who made their brand name look so like the word superglue. And as Draco was pacing the campsite, crying his heart out and thinking up murderous ways of killing the creator, let's just say that that person was very lucky not to be near them at the present moment.

"Awww … come on Draco, you don't look that bad," Harry said trying to hug Draco but the pieces of wood sticking up everywhere made it very difficult to get his arms around.

"Yes it is! You don't have to go around like some psychotics moose for the rest of your life!" Draco said, still trying to pull the twig out, only to wince as the hair was very painfully pulled out.

"I HATE YOU!" Draco screamed at Pansy and Hermione, who had the decency at that point to at least look apologetic. In all honestly, they didn't mean to use the super glue!

Their guilt only grew when Draco started crying again when not even one of the little sticks came free. Everyone just watched in silence as Harry tried to convince Draco that they will get the twigs out when they get to Venice.

Draco only continued with his incoherent rant about how he looked like a constipated deer on drugs and how his mother will have a hear attack when she sees him, and then he went into a very long account about making a reservation at a top class hairdressers and how hard it was to get the good hairdresser, no the crappy one that smells like toilet cleaner.

After about an hour of angry ranting and evil plots to have everyone involved 'taken care of' the five teens managed to get Draco to bed after Pansy tried to cut as much of the sticks out as possible with the scissors. But despite her efforts, he still had a very deer-like appearance to them.

Harry tried not to care when Draco just brushed passed him when going to bed, but in all honestly, Harry missed his goodnight kiss from his boyfriend and it hurt. Harry's disappointment must have been obvious as when he sat down on a log with a sigh, Pansy handed him a spoon.

"What's this for?" Harry asked, looking at the spoon, confused.

"Well seeing as Draco is angry at you-"

"Although I'm not sure why," Harry muttered.

"-so I though you might want to use this." Pansy finished.

Harry just looked at her, stunned.

"I don't bottom Pansy," He said, handing the spoon back with a grin.

* * *

At seven in the morning the French version of the AA arrived to fix the cars and get the teens out of the woods. Which came as a relief to everyone as sleeping on the ground doesn't do much for your back and ass.

So as Draco, who was wearing a hoodie even though it 'goes against his fashion religion', explained to the rescue man about what happened in fluent Italian, the other teens were loading the cars up with their stuff.

"Well beats grimy motels," was Pansy's only solace in the whole camping issue.

"Well, the rescue man says is that all that was wrong with the car was that the engine was overheated, so now that it has cooled down it should be ok to drive. And there is a petrol station about a mile down so they're going to tow the Merc down there to fill it up," a very pissed Draco told the rest before giving them all the evil eye and went to a car.

"I can't believe there was a station only a mile down! I went to the toilet behind a tree when there was probably toilets there … now, that's just not fair!" Pansy, who seemed oblivious to Draco's anger at her, said with distaste.

"Well that's irony for you," Hermione replied.

At the station, true to Pansy's assumptions there was a very nice, clean looking set of toilets. This, naturally, led to Pansy throwing a rather childish tantrum.

"Wow, between Pansy and Draco, who needs children?" Ron said to Blaise, who just looked at Pansy with faint interest.

Meanwhile, Harry was trying to talk to Draco, trying being the keyword in that sentence.

"Draco! Please! Tell me what I did wrong!" Harry pleaded.

"You know what you did wrong, why pretend you don't?' Draco said, showing a lot of interest in the nails on his left hand.

"But, Draco I'm not pretending, I honestly don't know what I did wrong!"

"Likely story … you just don't want the blame being on you."

"What blame? What? I don't know what I did wrong! I don't know what's going on! No one ever tells me anything!" Harry said hurriedly.

"No one tells you anything! Likely story! No one ever tells me anything! I'm always the last to know, and when everyone else is joking about it, here's me wondering what the fuck was going on! So don't you give me that 'I don't know anything' crap, because I know you do!"

Harry was well and truly confused at this point, he honestly had no idea what Draco was on about and why he was so annoyed at Harry.

"Could you at least remind me what I did wrong?" Harry asked, trying to sound calm and kind when in reality he was pissed off beyond belief.

"It was more what you didn't do." Draco replied cryptically.

Harry was about to grab Draco's shoulders and shake the blond hard, but then realize that that probably wouldn't work.

"What did I didn't do?" Harry asked, confused.

"Stop them!" Draco said.

"Stop what?" Harry asked, although now he had an idea.

"Stop what he asks!" he declared in disbelief to his imaginary audience. "What do you think?"

At Harry's silence, Draco let out an annoyed sigh.

"Stop them from sticking all this nature crap in my hair! Why didn't you stop them? My lovely hair ruined! Ruined! And if I remember rightly, you were the one to tell them to do my hair," Draco said, eyes shining at the memory of what he now called 'Hair Rape'.

"Shit, Draco, I'm sorry! I didn't even realize!"

"Well it's a bit late now, huh?"

"I'm really sorry Draco, truly. What will it take for you to forgive me?"

Uh oh Harry thought when he saw a familiar mischievously gleam in Draco's eye.

"How about it?' Harry tried.

"Well … maybe I'll forgive you if you get me something …" Draco hinted.

"If I paid for the hairdresser bill when you get you hair fixed will it help?' Harry asked, hopefully.

"It'll be a start …" Draco said, Harry didn't really want to think about the amount of damage that was about to be inflicted on his credit card. But all thoughts about his soon bankruptcy was wiped away when Draco actually genuinely smiled at him for the first time in ages. Their relationship was becoming a bit strained over the past few weeks, Harry was just happy that the rough patch might just be over.

"How about a shopping spree in Rome after the wedding?" Harry suggested.

"That would definitely help!" Draco said, and with that Harry found himself in a bone-crushing hug from an overly moody boyfriend.

"Well, mates, are we going to set off? Almost there you know!" Ron said from the car.

"Shall we?" Harry asked, holding out his hand to Draco in a very prince-charming kind of way.

"Oh yes we shall!" and with that, Draco took Harry hand and both of them ran over to the cars, all ready to go.

"We're almost there everybody! Final stretch straight ahead and then our journey's over!"

* * *

Wow, tired!

But guess what I FINALLY FINISHED ANOTHER CHAPTER!

And, seeing as I took the time to count … what? Word count is hart to find! I have 6,372 words in this chapter!

But on a sadder note: ROAD TRIP'S ALMOST FINISHED!

I guess there are only, max, two more chapters to go.


	14. The End

**A/N: please make sure you read the few notes at the end of this! They're important enough!**

**Chapter 13. The End! (Very sad news people!)**

**Day 6**

Finally on the go again, all six teens were feeling a great sense of achievement at making it to the end without much mishap.

"Well, at least you can't say it wasn't an interesting trip!" Hermione said to Pansy.

"One for the books! Hey! That's a great idea, maybe I should write a book about our journey? You and Draco can help as well! We'll be best selling authors and you would finally be able to afford nice clothes!" Pansy said to Hermione, who raised an eyebrow at the well-meant insult.

"Hmmm... I'm afraid that wouldn't really work..." Hermione said.

"Why not?"

"Draco's a crap speller," came the reply.

"Where are we going again? Vienna?" Ron asked.

"No that's a brand of ice-cream you fuckwit, we're going to Venice," Harry said, rolling his eyes at Ron, yet again.

"I knew it started with a 'V', alright …" Ron answered.

"Why am I even here? I wanted to sit with Pansy and Hermione so we could make fun of everyone else in their cars, but, no, here I am, STILL in the backseat as well, listening to you two go on about letters or something, all I want to do is get to the hotel fix an appointment as quick as possible and have this whole trip over with it," Draco grumbled from the backseat, complaining like he always does.

"What hotel are we staying in by the way?" Ron asked Harry, whose parents made the reservations.

"I dunno, but I think I overheard somebody saying its name. It began with a 'M', but I couldn't make out the rest. When we get to Venice I'll ask," Harry said, and then went back to the map that he was trying to read.

* * *

About ten miles from the city of Venice, the six teens found themselves stuck in the largest, longest traffic jam they had ever experienced. They were so close to the end that they could almost taste the wedding cake, and all they wanted to do was rest, but now with this traffic, they'd be lucky to even make the dress rehearsal.

"Typical, just typical," Pansy muttered, as she surveyed the scene around her.

Cars of all shapes, makes and sizes were doing .05 kilometers per hour and blaring their horns in a vain attempt to make the jam suddenly disappear, Pansy tutted as she watched some Italian taxi driver shouting at the car in front and blaring his horn at the cars around him while the three women in the back, who were obviously foreigners, had terrified expressions on their faces and were probably hoping that this mad man wasn't about to kill them and steal their precious dogs that were in their handbags.

"Disgraceful, isn't it?" Pansy heard someone say.

It was some English person in the car beside them. Pansy gave a weak smile and sat back in her seat quickly, laughing.

"Pansy!" she heard someone call. Then when Pansy looked up, she saw Draco hanging out the sunroof in the car behind them, waving at her like a madman. The car was about four cars down and Pansy was happy that she now had someone to talk to, seeing as Hermione was asleep and Blaise was too busy smoking some hash in the front seat to care. Pansy laughed at the state of Draco in a big pink hoodie covering his ruined deer hair.

"How are you Draco dear?" Pansy yelled back, pretending to be posh, giggling manically at his appearance.

"Never better, now that I'm talking to you!" Draco shouted back, in an equally snobbish accent, and glaring at a few people who were looking at the hoodie strangely.

"Seriously though, this traffic is mad," Pansy shouted. She laughed when she saw a few English speaking people in their cars nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, hey! Look at the billboard!" Draco said, pointing to a giant billboard behind Pansy.

On the Bill board was a huge advertisement, advertising one of Lucius Malfoy's hotels. The advertisement itself had a huge picture of Lucius posing with five scantily clad super models with the slogan 'For nightly entertainment and 'more' come to the Malfoy Hotel!" in Italian of course.

"Hey Draco, what does it say?" Pansy shouted back, not caring that almost everyone were watching the two and laughing.

Draco translated the slogan with a laugh.

"Only Lucius would do something like that!"

"Does your mum know?"

"Well … she probably does … in fact, it was probably her idea, I mean, after all that was how they met."

"On a photo shoot advertising the hotels?"

"No, she was a page 3 girl and she provided the entertainment for a week at one of the first hotels, then she ended up the duff with me, so she married Lucius out of a whim in Vegas by Elvis."

"Draco, your parents are so weird."

"Duh! How do you think I turned out this warped?"

"The dresses maybe?"

"Don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't deny it, Draco, I've seen the pictures!"

"Anyway, I just saw that poster and laughed, I mean, Lucius is in his mid-forties now … isn't he suppost to be in the drunken-I'll-be-home-later-sober-but-never-is stage not the 60 year old I'm-a-pimp-and-proud-phase, I mean, he's old, yeah, but not old enough to be in a photo with 5 women in bikinis ..."

"… Makes sense," a confused Pansy said, still thinking about whether Draco's explanation actually did make any sense, a few other drivers were also thinking about it as well.

"I'm in one of the publicity shots, actually. He made me pose naked while riding a greyhound …"

Pansy and the other drivers all shared scared looks.

* * *

"Hey! Pansy! Let's have a sing-a-long!" Draco suggested after around half an hour of silence between the two. They'd certainly made progress in that time. 25 meters is progress, everybody knows that…

"Ohhh! How about a Christmas song!" Pansy said, excited!

"Ok …" and with that Draco hopped put of the car, creating a small dent in the front of the car, much to Harry's shock, and went up to Pansy's car.

"What will we start with?" Pansy asked after Draco had hopped into the convertible.

"OH! I got one ….

_It was Christmas eve babe  
in the drunk tank," _

Draco nudged Pansy so she could join in.

"Oh, yay! I love this song!"

"_An old man said to me, won't see another one  
And then he sang a song  
the rare old mountain dew  
I turned my face away  
and dreamed about you,"_

Both Pansy and Draco sang in an overly drunk Irish accent which caused a few people to look at them strangely, while a few other people laughed at those fools singing like mad.

"Got on a lucky one  
Came in eighteen to one  
I've got a feeling  
This year's for me and you  
So happy Christmas  
I love you baby  
I can see a better time  
When all our dreams come true,"

Harry and Ron looked on in both amusement and horror as another episode of Draco and Pansy singing like fools began. Bohemian Rhapsody was 'interesting' but 'Fairytale of New York' might just beat that and make it to the ranks of 'Huh?' … especially if those accents get any worse …

As the start finished, both Pansy and Draco started singing the tune for in between the verses. They always sung the tune in between words, and to everyone's distaste, they weren't changing the habit any time sooner. _  
_

"_They've got cars big as bars  
They've got rivers of gold  
But the wind goes right through you  
It's no place for the old  
When you first took my hand  
On a cold Christmas eve  
You promised me  
Broadway was waiting for me,"_

Pansy sung this part by herself, as no matter how much he reminded everyone of one, Draco was not a girl.

"You were handsome," Pansy sang turning to Draco.

_  
"You were pretty  
Queen of new York city," _Draco sang back to her. Both were trying hard not to laugh, sadly, no one else could and were literally falling out of their cars they were laughing so much, more at the badly done accents than anything else._  
_

"_When the band finished playing  
They howled out for more  
Sinatra was swinging,  
All the drunks they were singing," _Pansy and Draco sung together,

Swaying madly as they did._  
_

"_We kissed on a corner  
Then danced through the night," _Pansy sang, wrapping that verse up,

At this point, their singing was getting a good audience who had left their

cars to listen, even Blaise turned his attention from his drugs to watch on skeptically. Surprisingly, Hermione was still asleep, even though Pansy and Draco could have woken the dead with their screeching rendition of the song.

"The boys of the NYPD choir  
were singing Galway bay  
and the bells were ringing out  
For Christmas day," Pansy and Draco sang together, smiling when they heard all the other motorists join in with the chorus as well. So basically the whole road was singing the song, including Harry, Ron and Blaise, but they would never admit that. 

"You're a bum  
you're a punk," Pansy sang again to Draco, pretending to punch Draco in the face._  
_

"_You're an old slut on junk  
lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed,"_ Draco slurred, trying

Hard to keep the drunken Irish accent as he did so._  
_

"_You scumbag, you maggot  
You cheap lousy faggot  
Happy Christmas your arse  
I pray God it's our last," _Pansy sang back, laughing as she called Draco a 'Faggot' … 

"The boys of the NYPD choir  
Were singing Galway bay

_And the bells were ringing out  
For Christmas day," _everyone sang together once more, laughing and enjoying their selves despite the hot day and the traffic.

"I could have been someone," Draco sang on his own

_  
"Well so could anyone," _Pansy sang back.

_  
"You took my dreams from me  
When I first found you," _Pansy continued, accompanied by a few people who knew the words.

_  
"I kept them with me babe  
I put them with my own  
Can't make it all alone  
I've built my dreams around you," _Draco returned, kneeling on one knee as he mock-serenaded Pansy, who tried not to laugh.

"The boys of the NYPD choir  
Were singing Galway bay  
And the bells were ringing out  
For Christmas day," Everyone sang again, much louder and more flamboyantly than before.

"_The boys of the NYPD choir  
Were singing Galway bay  
And the bells were ringing out  
For Christmas day," _and with that last chorus, everyone started cheering and laughing, their anger and frustration for the whole traffic situation was gone, and all it needed was a good old Christmas ditty to cheer them up.

Pansy and Draco grinned widely at each other, they had made these people happy, that shown now that despite what their friends say, they actually can sing well. Pansy stuck her tongue out at Harry and Ron four cars behind just for good measure.

Both laughed when they saw the angry taxi driver with the three women in the back, standing on the roof of his car cheering with the rest of the crowd while waving his lighter to the song.

* * *

The traffic continued at a snails-pace, but it didn't seem to take as long, as everyone in their cars were singing songs with Draco and Pansy's lead, and before they all knew it, they were out of the jam and into the area outlyingVenice. Everyone cheered as the road cleared and a few people waved at Pansy and Draco as they drove past.

"We did a good thing there, Pansy!" Draco said, excitedly.

"Yea! If only we got paid … we're doing no more free gigs from now on though," Pansy answered, still smiling at the people's reaction.

Back in the Saab, Harry and Ron were still amazed at how quick the traffic seemed to go when everyone was relaxed and enjoying their selves and not shouting and blaring their horns at the cars in front.

"Maybe those two are good for something," Harry said, as they drove steadily into the town to the narrow streets of Venice's outskirts.

"Yeah, but now help me find the hotel," Ron said, struggling to open the map, which seemed determined to stay folded.

Their hotel was somewhere in the outskirts of Venice so they should be close to it, they had instructions and a map so finding it shouldn't be too hard. The other car, with the four other teens, was following them, depending on Ron's navigation skills to get them there.

So, after a few hours of driving around, taking wrong turns and finding themselves at a beach more than once, the six teens decided that they were well and truly lost.

"Well, this is making good progress anyway," Draco muttered darkly as they found themselves at the same crossroads for the tenth time. The sing-song had made him feel happy and forget about his hair for a while, but now that there was no more distraction than a few random birds and a snoring, drooling Hermione cuddling up with Pansy who was asleep as well, the dark, murderous mood was back again.

"Oh, lighten up Draco!" Blaise said, punching Draco in the arm which caused a whole bag of sweets to be 'accidentally' upturned over Blaise's head.

Draco looked into the back seat of the Mercedes to where Hermione and Pansy were literally lying on top of each other sleeping soundly.

"This is so wasted on me," Draco commented as he watched them for a minute.

"You maybe, but not me," Blaise said, as he watched them eating popcorn with a horny glint in his eye.

'Please let me get out of here alive!' Draco prayed silently to the fashion Gods yet again.

* * *

The six teens stopped a bit later at the side of the road to try and find their way.

"We could take this route," Harry said, pointing randomly at the map.

"We took that one, it leads to the beach … I think," Ron said taking the map off Harry and studying it closely.

"Well this one leads back to Venice, if we go that way and then try again to get the route right again," Blaise suggested as he showed the other two boys the route he was talking about,

"That might work," Harry said.

"It might take a while, though," Ron pointed out.

"It'll be better than standing here doing nothing," Harry answered.

"Oh, for God's sake!" Draco suddenly shouted, causing the other three boys to look at him. Draco had a letter or something in his hands and was looking at it in slight surprise.

"What?" Harry asked him.

"We're going to one of my hotels!" Draco said.

"What? Your hotel?" Ron asked stupidly.

"We're going to a Malfoy hotel, dumbass," Draco clarified.

"We are?" Blaise asked, snatching the letter from Draco's hands.

"He's right, we are," Blaise declared.

"I can get us there in oh, thirty minutes, I know where this one is actually … it was built to celebrate my birth …."

"Well thank god that Draco got a hotel as a birthday present," Ron said, rolling his eyes. Sometimes everyone forgot how rich Draco actually was, so when he points out stuff like 'Sure, it's only worth £1,000,000 not going to put too much of a dent' or 'my summer home in the Amazon has nine bedrooms, you can stay there' the others kind of do a double take. It's not that Draco doesn't brag about his money, he does, he just does it in a low key way.

Like Draco predicted, they reached the hotel in thirty minutes. The other five teens never actually saw one of the Malfoy hotels, so when they saw the size of the bright white and gold building, four pools, three large restaurants, Tennis courts, sauna and bath house and stables out the back near the gold course, they couldn't help but stare at it with their mouths hanging open.

"Ah, my home away from home!" Draco said dramatically, while poking Hermione and Pansy hard in the shoulder to wake them up.

"Wh – what? Are we there yet? Where are we?" a very sleepy Pansy asked, confused.

"We're here!" Draco said, poking Hermione once more before jumping out of the car and jogging up to the hotel entrance to get someone to take in their bags.

Inside the hotel, Harry and Ron were trying to get their rooms sorted out. They arrived at a bad time as one of those package holiday tour groups had just arrived not five minutes before and as a result a long queue for the reception was what greeted the six teens.

"Why aren't we moving? I want to get to my room quick and get my hair sorted out!" Draco said, his cheery mood disappearing fast as he looked at the people around him, eyeing the hoodie in amusement.

"Erm … Draco? Can't you get us to the top of the line?" Ron asked, hinting subtly.

"Oh yeah. I could do that, but that would be very mean to the other people that are already in line," Draco said thoughtfully.

"Your hair will get done more quickly," Harry said, nudging Draco on the arm.

"Get out of my way people!" Draco shouted, and with that he started barging through the crowds of people, not very successfully mind you, as he was almost blinded by some woman's Dolly Parton Look-a-like wig.

Finally Draco managed to elbow his way to the reception desk, leaving a trail of angry and annoyed people in his wake and a very pissed receptionist.

"Can you wait your turn please?" she asked icily.

Draco looked at her for a minute before saying:

"No."

"I'll call security of you don't stand aside." the receptionist was very stressed as it is and this trouble maker in his dodgy pink hoodie wasn't what she wanted to deal with at the moment.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Draco was enjoying himself toying with that poor woman who had no idea who he was, mainly because of the hoodie really.

"Security!" the woman called.

"If they touch me, I'm telling management," Draco said, trying to suppress a grin.

"Management's busy," the woman informed him as she beckoned for the two security men.

With a smirk, Draco pulled out his phone and dialed a number. Everyone was looking at him at this stage, most probably thinking: what's with this nut-case?

"Hello? It's me … the receptionist is trying to kick me out … yes … yes … ok, I'll put her on … 'management' wants to talk to you," and with that Draco handed the confused woman his phone.

"Hello? Yes this is she … Mr.! … Mr. Malfoy! … Yes … I'm sorry but … yes … no …no … that wouldn't be good … ok … Erm, he wants to talk to you," the shocked woman said, handing Draco back his phone.

"Yea … of course I will … why wouldn't I? ok … I'll do it when I get home! … but … I … bye, daddy! Love you," and with that, Draco hung up the phone.

"So where were we?" Draco asked, flashing the shocked woman his award winning smile.

* * *

"That was so funny Draco!" Pansy said as they clambered into the penthouse suite.

"Yea, the poor woman's face!" Hermione agreed, laughing along with Pansy.

"She should know me by now, it was her own fault!" Draco laughed.

"You are so mean," Pansy said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey! If he wasn't, we wouldn't be getting this complimentary fruit basket," Ron butted in with his mouth full of kiwi.

"Yes, you all about the fruit aren't you Ron?" Draco shouted back, sarcastically.

"Oh, behave you big peach!" Pansy laughed.

* * *

"When I rule the world, I'm going to have six exotic slave boys to care for my every need," Pansy said, basking in the sun beside the pool.

"Amen," Hermione grinned and both hit their cocktail glasses together in a toast.

"This is the life, warm weather, cool pool and Ron running with a water gun …wait … a water gun!" Pansy shriek as she was covered in cold water, courtesy of Ron's water gun.

Hermione laughed at Pansy, who was soaked and currently screaming at Ron, when Harry and Blaise suddenly crept up behind her, lifted her up and threw her into the pool.

"You are so DEAD!" Pansy shouted about five seconds before she too was thrown into the pool.

The three boys stood at the side of the pool laughing at Pansy and Hermione's shocked faces, who were not at all amused.

"Ha-ha! You should have seen your faces!" Harry managed to say before he started laughing all over again.

"Priceless," Ron agreed high five-ing both Blaise and Harry.

Then the next thing the three boys knew, they too were in the pool, with a newly styled laughing Draco standing on the spot where they once were. Draco was happy because he had finally got rid of the reindeer hair … after three hours in the salon of course.

"Ha-ha! I rule!" Draco declared, doing a little 'I rule' song and dance routine.

The five teens all shard a 'let's get him' look, and before Draco could start another verse of his interesting song, he too was in the pool.

"IT'S COLD!" Draco shouted, trying to escape from Pansy and Hermione who were currently swimming towards him with some kind of evil purpose.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! I'LL SCREAM!" Draco screamed as Pansy and Hermione kept coming at him. Draco could have sworn the he could hear the 'Jaws' theme tune playing in the background.

Pansy and Hermione had to stop, as they were laughing so much half the pool was swallowed up already.

"That was so freaky," Draco told his two friends.

"Not as bad as your hair though," Pansy laughed. Draco's hair certainly hadn't returned to its natural glory, despite the best efforts of his hairdresser.

"Hey! You don't hear me making any comments about your dress sense," Draco reminded her.

"Yes you do, every ten minutes!" Pansy said, before splashing him in the face and swimming off back towards where Ron, Harry and Blaise were trying to see who could hold their breaths the longest.

"Argh! You bitch!" Draco said, and then he started to chase Pansy.

Hermione only shook her head and continued to swim slowly after the other two.

"Roooooooooon!" Pansy sang as she swam towards her boyfriend.

"Yeeeeeeeeeees?" Ron said, copying Pansy.

"Draco's being mean to me," Pansy said, snuggling up to Ron.

"Hey! Don't listen to her, she smokes cigars!" Draco said, trying to defend himself.

"And your point?" Pansy asked, as she lit a smoke.

"Can't smoke in the pool," Draco jeered.

"Well … I can," Pansy said.

"Betcha you can't swim this whole pool length without the ciggie going out," Draco challenged.

"Betcha I can," Pansy answered.

"Go on then."

"In my own time."

"You don't own time … now go."

"Wait a minute would you! I want to at least have some of this."

"A minute, right, one-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, three-Mississippi, four-Mississippi, five-Mississippi, six-Mississippi, seven-"

"Draco stop!" Harry said, pulling Draco towards him in a hug.

"I have an idea, let's have a race to see who can swim up and back without it burning out," Blaise suggested, who had also lighted up what looked like a joint.

"Yeah!" Pansy said.

"Well, I'm not taking part," the ever saint-like Hermione said.

"Me neither, I'm giving up," Draco said, leaving Harry's arms and swimming towards Hermione to show his support.

"Draco, you've been giving up for two years, trust me, it's never going to happen," Pansy pointed out.

"This just proves that I'm getting no support in this what-so-ever! I don't want to end up like some druggie, rolling up his joints in the backseat of a car while I'm selling some coke at the side of the road … no offence Blaise," Draco said.

"None taken," Blaise answered.

"So you four can take your little sin sticks with you and do whatever you want with them, but leave me out of it," Draco said, much to the pride of Hermione.

Silence.

Then …

"HAHAHAHAHA!" all five teens, excluding Hermione burst out laughing.

"Oh, Draco, you're such a comedian!" Pansy said, wiping away a tear and offering Draco the ends of her cigarette.

"I got you going there didn't I?" Draco laughed, taking a puff.

Hermione surveyed her five friends, all were smoking in the pool, much to the life guard's distaste as well, but he couldn't very well give out to the owner's son and his friends, so he couldn't very well do anything about it.

* * *

"Harry! You're here! HARRY!" Lily Potter cried when she spotted her beloved son walking from the pool with the others.

Harry pretended he couldn't hear her and continued walking, but Lily Potter, not used to being ignored, ran over to him and gave him a huge bear hug, much to the embarrassment of Harry and amusement of everyone else.

"You made it safe and sound!" Lily said, holding her son as if he was about to leave her again.

Ron was too busy laughing to notice that his own mother was rushing up to him and before he could say anything, he was being almost strangled by the force of his mother's hug.

"Mum!" Ron whined.

"Oh my little Ronnie! Never leave me like that again!" Molly Weasley said, kissing her son on the head as if he was a toddler that was found after being lost in a shopping centre for and hour.

Before the six teens knew it, all their parents were circled around them asking questions and hugging each teen randomly.

"Draco! Your HAIR!" Narcissa Malfoy screamed as she ran through the crowd of happy parents and pulled her son towards her to inspect said hair.

"What HAVE you done to it?"

"I didn't do anything! They did it! It's horrible, I know, but it was the best that Julian could do bar shaving it off," Draco said, pointing at an innocent looking Pansy and Hermione.

"Oh! My poor baby!" Narcissa exclaimed and then proceeded to smother Draco with a hug.

"Don't ever leave me again! I can't stand to see you ruined like this!"

"Now, now Narcissa, it's only hair, it'll grow," Lilly and Molly said, trying to comfort the hyperventilating Malfoy, while Draco tried to catch his breath.

The five other teens shared a look, now they knew where Draco got it.

"That's not the point! Draco would have been nothing if it wasn't for the hair! And now it's ruined! I'm going to have to lock him up now until it's back to normal! And I'm dreading visiting the ladies now when they get a whiff of this! I'll be ruined! Ruined!" Narcissa cried, beginning to sob into her hands, while Lily and Molly gave Draco a 'how do you live with this?' look.

"Mum? Mum! … Are you really going to lock me up?" Draco asked.

Narcissa nodded solemnly and then she threw herself at her son all over again in a fit of tears.

"Now Narcissa, don't you think you're taking this a bit too seriously?" Molly asked.

"NO! Draco has to learn not to let people at his hair, and locking him up and throwing away the key is the only way!"

"But, he's your son; would you really want to lock him up?"

"I don't know where I went wrong with him! I always followed those parenting books, I always fed him just the right amount of food, his clothes always followed the latest fashion, and I always taught him that you have to exfoliate before you moisturize, where did I go wrong?"

"You know what? Call me when she's finished this little rant," Draco said to one of the parents before he left the circle and walked back towards his room.

"DON'T YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON ME! I'M YOUR MOTHER I GAVE BIRTH TO YOU!" Narcissa screamed at Draco, who then ran back to the room.

"So have an interesting trip?" James Potter asked Ron and Harry over Narcissa's screaming.

"You could say that, I guess," Harry laughed.

"YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE …!"

"NARCISSA!"

* * *

The teens were finally left alone when their parents were called to help set up the ceremony tomorrow, which came as a relief to everyone as Narcissa finally stopped screeching at them and at the poor flower arranging people.

"Ah it's so great to be back!" Pansy said to Hermione as they were having their dresses for the next day fitted.

"Yes it is, although I'm still waiting for something bad to happen or one of the guests has a stroke or something!"

"CoughNacissaCough!" Pansy said.

Both girls burst out laughing only to receive a needle in the side from a very pissed off dress fitter.

"Oops, sorry!" both girls said through muffled giggles.

"Are you done yet? Because we have to go to dinner with our parents," Harry shouted through the door.

"Almost!" Hermione shouted back, and then wincing as she got another stab in the side.

"Would you hurry up? I'm hungry!" Ron shouted this time.

"We said we'd be out in a minute, this takes a lot longer than just buying a tux in a shop!" Pansy answered this time.

"Ok, you two are done," the dress fitter said.

"We'll be out in a minute!" Hermione shouted as both girls ran to the dressing room to get changed.

"No hurry, Draco is still getting ready as well," Harry shouted.

Fifteen minutes later all six teens were making their way down to the taxi rink to get a taxi into the city. The ride took about thirty minutes and most of those thirty minutes was spent watching Draco doing Pansy and Hermione's make-up.

At the restaurant all the parents were already seated and halfway through starters when the six teens arrived. The meal was just for the parents and their child so they could catch up with what their children got up to. The surprise guest of the whole meal was the appearance of Lucius Malfoy who almost none of the parents have met before.

"Erm … sorry we were late, we had a dress fitting and that kind of held us up," Hermione explained when the six teens got questioning looks from their parents.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" Draco asked only noticing Lucius' presence at that moment.

"Am I not allowed to ask my only child how his trip got on?" Lucius asked.

"Erm …" and with that Draco took the seat furthest away from his parents and found himself sitting between Molly Weasley and Lily Potter.

"What's he doing here?" Draco whispered to Lily.

"I think he wants to see you," she whispered back.

"What? He never wants to see me, I'm not dying!" Draco said, confused at his father's sudden interest in him.

The night went on with all six teens telling everyone about their trip, and all its little hiccoughs along the way, including the motels they stayed in and their night out camping. Narcissa and Lucius were amazed that Draco slept in a forest for a night and convincing them took five full testimonies from all his friends (each) and full photographic proof. This earned Draco another pony. Narcissa was in tears, sobbing "My brave, brave boy..." and various other adoring statements, while everybody else - barring Lucius, who was used to the crazy ex-porn star – just stared at her, open mouthed. It took most of the main course for her to calm down.

By the time dessert was being served all twelve parents were in stitches laughing at their children's antics especially all the times Draco, Pansy and Hermione had burst into song.

And when it came to more serious matters like the music producer on the ferry and Draco's hair they were all ears and when Hermione and Blaise's new relationship was revealed to the parents, the couple in question found themselves being showered with questions and congratulations.

When it was time to leave everyone had a warm happy feeling in their stomach, and everyone was laughing and joking and laughing even more. Even Lucius Malfoy showed that he had a heart when he burst out laughing when he was told about the 'reindeer incident' and despite Draco throwing countless bread rolls at him to shut him up, Lucius hadn't stopped laughing since.

So, all in all, it was a good night and as the parents were heading back to their own rooms the six teens called a movie night to celebrate before the wedding the next day.

"So what will we watch?" Hermione asked as she threw herself onto a comfy sofa in the penthouse suite.

"The Wizard of Oz!" Pansy declared as she looked through the DVDs stacked beside the widescreen TV.

"I wouldn't mind seeing that actually!" Draco said, plonking his rather fine arse down beside Hermione on the couch.

"Ok, we'll watch it!" Pansy said, sitting down beside Draco onto the couch as well as the DVD started to play.

"So we get no say in this at all?" Ron asked, sitting beside Pansy on the seat.

"Nope," Hermione, Pansy and Draco said all at once without taking their eyes off the screen.

"I have an idea! Let's stay here all of us and have a sleep over!" Pansy said, snuggling into Ron and stifling a huge yawn.

"You're only saying that because you couldn't be arsed to go back to your room," Draco pointed out.

"True," Pansy said, yawning properly this time.

By the end of the night, all six teens were so tired that they all just feel asleep on top of each other, with Pansy pulling a random person on top of her to keep her warm. The room was quite cold after all.

* * *

The next morning all six teens were woken up with someone banging on the door, screeching "Get up! It's time to get ready!"

"My back is killing me!" Ron said, getting up stiffly from his position half squashed by the combined weight of Hermione and Pansy.

"Well you shouldn't have feel asleep like that then," Draco muttered from where his right arm was being crushed by Ron and his legs by Harry.

"I can't move," Draco muttered again as he tried to move his legs, only to find that he couldn't.

Harry only groaned and then rolled over, trapping Draco even more.

"Get off me Potter! You're not as light as you think you are!" Draco complained to the dead weight across his lap, i.e. Harry.

"I'll help you Draco," Pansy said and the next thing Harry knew he was being rolled off Draco and onto Blaise who only snorted loudly and continued to sleep.

"Thank you! I can walk again!" Draco said.

"Come one guys wake up! There's a wedding today!" Pansy shouted at her friends, sprinkling some water from a glass that was on the table on top of the pile that was her friends.

"Aagrh! It burns!" Ron shouted when a drop landed on his head.

"Quit with the dramatics and get up," Pansy said, this time pouring the complete glass over them.

"Pansy, I'd get up, but I'm currently being crushed," Blaise said from the ground as he tried to get Harry off him and stop Hermione from falling into him.

Draco, who was massaging his legs, jumped up suddenly and bringing Ron's tired body with him, causing Ron to fall off the couch and onto the floor, crushing his nose.

"OUCH!" Ron yelled, before sitting up and massaging his nose gingerly.

"Did I do that?" Draco asked innocently, pulling Harry off Blaise and rolling the body until Harry woke up with a grumble.

"COME ON KIDS WAKE UP! BREAKFAST IS IN TEN MINUTES!" one of the parents screamed once again through the door.

All six teens looked at each other for a minute before laughing. They made it! The survived six days traveling together without killing each other and as they looked at each other, each felt that the trip had done nothing but made their friendship and relationships stronger than ever before. Each had something new to celebrate because of the trip and each knew that what the had, they would never give up, no matter what happens to them in the future.

The End.

OMG,it's finished!

Ok, because this is finished, I just want to say a few things, so keep reading!

1. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I can honestly say that I had never got so many reviews for one story in my writing career! So again, thank you all! Love every single one of you!

2. There will be a sequel, which I'll hopefully start working on as soon as I have the first chapter of my new story, which is still unnamed at the moment, up. So keep watching!

3. HUGE thanks to James (JacobimVonStyluss) and Aubrey (AubreyElla) for being both great Beta's and great friends! Without those two, this would be a collection of bad spelling, bad grammar and even bad humor! So thanks so much guys! Love you both loads!

4. I will still send the sex scenes, even if when this story if 5 years old or something, I will still send them to anyone who asks for them! So don't feel shy about asking!

Beta Note

If you wanna read something else by Eryn, there's something that we have co-written, on the profile Consumate Vs. It's called Mind the Petunias. It's silly, smutty, and has Remus/Draco/Harry three way sex... What more could you want?

Also, some reviewers would be nice... We currently only have one person who's bothered, except for Jenny herself!

Aubrey Beta Note: Also read the bit of madness that was written by Aubrey and Jenny… It will soon be moved to the Consumate Vs page, and it is really silly and funny. It is called Trained Monkeys and Televised Madness. It rocks, and is very silly and doesn't make much sense. But that is okay. It is a run read.

(giggles Self-Pimpage is fun!)

Again! Thank you!


	15. authors note! GUESS WHOS BACK!

Oh yes, guess who is back! XD!

I am posting here as most of you know this fic the most over the rest.

Over the past few days I have been reading a lot of juicy H/D fics and it has inspired me!

Lets just say that after a very, very long absence, I am going to (try) return to fandom land.

I have been gone for quite a few years, 4 I do believe, I had a lot of personal problems that, without going into too much detail, included a lot of life changing experiances; lets just say that according to true Irish style I hit the drink ... HARD! And among a few illegal substances as well .. nothing I'm proud of.

So now I haver sorted out my life and have now gone back to school and am interested in this sort of thing again!

So be warned an update is comming for the sequel to this.

The writing style will be very different I will imagine however, as I wrote this when I was 15, young and naieve and now I'm 19!

thanks to whoever reads it, and if you have kept the faith, thanks a million times more!

(I have lost the sex scenes to this fic, so if anyone has them saved *fingers crossed its been so long* or even wants to write me one! *wink wink* send me an email or a PM and I will most gladly have a chat with you!

Untill next time!

Jenny, aka, Eryn Galen

xxx


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